I think my mother in law is getting ready to die - Page 4

BigV · 03-01-2017, 08:06 PM

Her color's better today.

what?

chrisinhouston · 03-07-2017, 02:59 PM

Saturday was a hard day, my mother in law's body was running on auto-pilot in survival mode at this point. She had now gone 31 days without food and almost 3 without anything more than a few ice chips and the occasional morphine I administered; she could no longer really swallow and we had to be careful she did not aspirate. Her breathing was strained, her blood pressure was up and down from 172/135 to 78/39 and her heart rate skipped from the low 40s to 138. Her eyes stayed wide open staring at a spot on the ceiling. The human body tries very hard to keep on going.

The family came again, her grand kids and a couple of the great grand kids. We continued packing things up and after dinner we left and my wife stayed another night. At about 1am she woke up, she said sleeping was hard there but she felt like something woke her so she got up to go check. Her mother had finally stopped breathing, she must have died a few minutes earlier as she was still warm to the touch. She called me and I came back over. I checked her pulse but it was pretty obvious. We called the Hospice nurse who came right over. She had to record the time of death when she arrived, 2:16am. I cut off a rose from a bouquet by her bed and put it in her hands, I tried to shut her eyes and mouth but rigor mortis had already begun. I took some pictures.

My wife called her sons, one came over with his wife to sit with us. The undertakers were busy with another call so it was 4:30 when they got there. They were both large men in dark baggy suits. If they had fedoras and sunglasses they could have been Jake and Elwood from the Blue's Brothers! After they left mom's dog was very confused, she kept looking in the bed as if saying, "Where did you go? I know you were here a few minutes ago!"

When the nurse and left we turned off the lights and went home, it was 5:15 and we got a few hours sleep. We met up with my wife's son's and their wives later Sunday morning and spent the day moving things out. We got a U-Haul and took furniture to both of the son's houses and a lot of stuff to my house. It rained off and on which made it a challenge. We had to finish up on Monday and turned in the keys.

My wife asked about doing a memorial get together at the retirement center for the people mom knew. She asked about using the conference room where they hold events. The Director said that wouldn't work as we would need a much bigger room, he suggested the large dining room. "She knew everyone here" he said. "I think all the resident will want to come out for her". That was nice to hear. Mom wasn't too social but was always friendly to everyone and she was one of the first tenants when they opened 3 years ago. We plan to do something in April when my wife's brother and his kids can come. On Monday one of the hospice nurses called and said she would like to take mom's dog. She's an old dog with health issues and none of the family felt they could take her. The nurse said she had a similar type dog and texted us later that both dogs hit it off and were doing great.... happy ending I guess.

In the end it was a long journey. We are still so exhausted. I will miss her as we became great friends over the past 18 years. Often I was the one who tried to ease the everyday tension between her and my wife when they weren't seeing eye to eye. I took her to her doctors, I was her driver and her advocate. I took her to breakfast or lunch, she loved the hot dogs at Costco. I knew she was lonely at needed someone to talk to.

This was my last picture of her. I have no problem or inner conflict with photographing the dead. The body is like a broken boat you find on the beach after a storm. It made the journey and it's passenger has moved on. For me the body is beautiful in all aspects of life from beginning to end.

glatt · 03-07-2017, 03:04 PM

You did a good job, Chris.

Gravdigr · 03-07-2017, 03:12 PM

Please give our condolences to the fam, Chris.

fargon · 03-07-2017, 03:15 PM

Yes Please, and remember you done good.

BigV · 03-07-2017, 05:08 PM

BigV · 03-07-2017, 05:10 PM

Quote:

The body is like a broken boat you find on the beach after a storm. It made the journey and it's passenger has moved on. For me the body is beautiful in all aspects of life from beginning to end.

Poetry.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-07-2017, 05:23 PM

Well done, it sounds like you maintained the perfect balance of compassion and pragmatism.

I'm so happy for dog to find a playmate and a caring owner.

Clodfobble · 03-07-2017, 06:15 PM

You went above and beyond, and she was lucky to have you (as is your wife.)

monster · 03-07-2017, 06:21 PM

classicman · 03-08-2017, 08:14 PM

Thoughts and prayers to all of you. You're a damn good man, Chris.

Griff · 03-11-2017, 08:40 AM

Well done Chris.

limey · 03-11-2017, 10:41 AM

My thought are with you and your family. You did well by your MiL. X

Sent by magic.

Pamela · 03-11-2017, 08:01 PM

My condolences, Chris. I know you did your best and I've been sending prayers your way.

I was a tad queasy about the dog, but very happy with the outcome. My mother's dog was put down despite my offering to take her so that hit kinda close to home for me. Plus, I'm a huge dog person. My will covers all current pets, just in case.

Well done.

Dude111 · 03-18-2017, 01:15 AM

Ya did good buddy!

Peace and love

03-01-2017, 08:06 PM	#46
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Her color's better today. what? __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

03-07-2017, 02:59 PM	#47
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Saturday was a hard day, my mother in law's body was running on auto-pilot in survival mode at this point. She had now gone 31 days without food and almost 3 without anything more than a few ice chips and the occasional morphine I administered; she could no longer really swallow and we had to be careful she did not aspirate. Her breathing was strained, her blood pressure was up and down from 172/135 to 78/39 and her heart rate skipped from the low 40s to 138. Her eyes stayed wide open staring at a spot on the ceiling. The human body tries very hard to keep on going. The family came again, her grand kids and a couple of the great grand kids. We continued packing things up and after dinner we left and my wife stayed another night. At about 1am she woke up, she said sleeping was hard there but she felt like something woke her so she got up to go check. Her mother had finally stopped breathing, she must have died a few minutes earlier as she was still warm to the touch. She called me and I came back over. I checked her pulse but it was pretty obvious. We called the Hospice nurse who came right over. She had to record the time of death when she arrived, 2:16am. I cut off a rose from a bouquet by her bed and put it in her hands, I tried to shut her eyes and mouth but rigor mortis had already begun. I took some pictures. My wife called her sons, one came over with his wife to sit with us. The undertakers were busy with another call so it was 4:30 when they got there. They were both large men in dark baggy suits. If they had fedoras and sunglasses they could have been Jake and Elwood from the Blue's Brothers! After they left mom's dog was very confused, she kept looking in the bed as if saying, "Where did you go? I know you were here a few minutes ago!" When the nurse and left we turned off the lights and went home, it was 5:15 and we got a few hours sleep. We met up with my wife's son's and their wives later Sunday morning and spent the day moving things out. We got a U-Haul and took furniture to both of the son's houses and a lot of stuff to my house. It rained off and on which made it a challenge. We had to finish up on Monday and turned in the keys. My wife asked about doing a memorial get together at the retirement center for the people mom knew. She asked about using the conference room where they hold events. The Director said that wouldn't work as we would need a much bigger room, he suggested the large dining room. "She knew everyone here" he said. "I think all the resident will want to come out for her". That was nice to hear. Mom wasn't too social but was always friendly to everyone and she was one of the first tenants when they opened 3 years ago. We plan to do something in April when my wife's brother and his kids can come. On Monday one of the hospice nurses called and said she would like to take mom's dog. She's an old dog with health issues and none of the family felt they could take her. The nurse said she had a similar type dog and texted us later that both dogs hit it off and were doing great.... happy ending I guess. In the end it was a long journey. We are still so exhausted. I will miss her as we became great friends over the past 18 years. Often I was the one who tried to ease the everyday tension between her and my wife when they weren't seeing eye to eye. I took her to her doctors, I was her driver and her advocate. I took her to breakfast or lunch, she loved the hot dogs at Costco. I knew she was lonely at needed someone to talk to. This was my last picture of her. I have no problem or inner conflict with photographing the dead. The body is like a broken boat you find on the beach after a storm. It made the journey and it's passenger has moved on. For me the body is beautiful in all aspects of life from beginning to end. Attached Images

03-07-2017, 03:12 PM	#49
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Please give our condolences to the fam, Chris. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

03-07-2017, 03:15 PM	#50
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	Yes Please, and remember you done good. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

03-07-2017, 05:08 PM	#51
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	__________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

03-07-2017, 03:04 PM	#48
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	You did a good job, Chris.

03-07-2017, 05:23 PM	#53
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Well done, it sounds like you maintained the perfect balance of compassion and pragmatism. I'm so happy for dog to find a playmate and a caring owner. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-07-2017, 06:15 PM	#54
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	You went above and beyond, and she was lucky to have you (as is your wife.) __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

03-07-2017, 06:21 PM	#55
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-08-2017, 08:14 PM	#56
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Thoughts and prayers to all of you. You're a damn good man, Chris. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-11-2017, 08:40 AM	#57
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Well done Chris. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-11-2017, 10:41 AM	#58
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	My thought are with you and your family. You did well by your MiL. X Sent by magic. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-11-2017, 08:01 PM	#59
Pamela Deplorable Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 767	My condolences, Chris. I know you did your best and I've been sending prayers your way. I was a tad queasy about the dog, but very happy with the outcome. My mother's dog was put down despite my offering to take her so that hit kinda close to home for me. Plus, I'm a huge dog person. My will covers all current pets, just in case. Well done.

03-18-2017, 01:15 AM	#60
Dude111 An Awesome Dude Join Date: Oct 2015 Posts: 1,111	Ya did good buddy! Peace and love

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