The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-10-2017, 12:39 PM   #5551
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
Two matronly sisters lived together and managed a farm. For years both had an extreme fear of thunder storms and lightning.

One day one of the sisters was visiting a neighbor, and while walking home was caught in a severe thunder storm. Lightning was streaking across the sky and thunder was booming all around. Being totally terrified, she ran to a nearby haystack and buried her head in the hay like an ostrich, so she could not see the lightning or hear the thunder.

With her head buried in the hay, her rear end was exposed, and the wind blew her dress up exposing the long unused part of her anatomy.

Along comes the local stud, and seeing the poor souls predicament, he did the only thing a well endowed stud would do in such a situation. After fully satisfying himself he zipped his pants and went on his merry way.

Soon the sister pulled her head out of the haystack and rushed home, calling to her sister, "Sissy, Sissy, let me tell you something! If you ever get struck by lightning, you'll never be afraid again!!"
Umm, I don't get it. Being raped is worse than thunder and lightning?
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs
footfootfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2017, 01:24 PM   #5552
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Humor is difficult for you, isn't it?
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2017, 03:30 PM   #5553
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
We all have our cross to bear.
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs
footfootfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2017, 04:52 PM   #5554
katfiche
like a fiche outta water
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Tejas
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
That was THE joke when I was in high school. Like, it got told every day. And then we were told we had to stop, not because it was annoying, but because it was not a good idea to throw around the phrase "we don't serve your kind here."
Fortunately, 40 years ago we weren't burdened with second guessing our every utterance beyond intent.
katfiche is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2017, 07:30 PM   #5555
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
45 years ago I have two mechanics working for me. The black mechanic stuck with me all the time, a good worker, and told me stories about being in the military and in Oregon he could buy a pair of shoes but couldn't try them on in the store. The white mechanic would sneak off at the slightest pretense to indulge his wood carving hobby.

One day The black mechanic and I were discussing the white mechanic, and I said he's a real nigger. The guys head spun around about three times then stopped and looked at me. Finally he said, well at least you know what it is. We were fast friends after that.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2017, 04:45 AM   #5556
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Black or whit, men will always be trying to figure out women.
Attached Images
 
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2017, 02:13 PM   #5557
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
I have seen that situation exact.

With murdersickles, and car/truck/tractor/lawn mower engines...
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2017, 12:22 PM   #5558
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
This could be wishful thinking...
Attached Images
 
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2017, 01:52 PM   #5559
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Oh yeah, ♪ If I could, I surely would ♫
Attached Images
 
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2017, 11:07 AM   #5560
Giselle
Kinda New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Oh yeah, ♪ If I could, I surely would ♫
Without humor, it is impossible to live!)) Very bad when a person has no sense of humor))
Giselle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2017, 03:56 PM   #5561
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
No sense of humor makes life a living hell.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2017, 03:27 PM   #5562
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
Q: What's E.T. short for?















A: His legs aren't very long.


glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2017, 08:59 PM   #5563
captainhook455
Rapscallion
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,357
Q: what does a blonde think of?
A:

tarheel
captainhook455 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2017, 12:42 PM   #5564
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Wait.

WAIT.

WAIT.

They think?
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2017, 03:52 PM   #5565
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
true...
Attached Images
 
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:18 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.