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Old 09-21-2012, 10:55 AM   #121
jimhelm
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#7 is the one I wanted to quote... but the whole list is fookin true

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Old 09-21-2012, 03:37 PM   #122
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I was watching TV at Baby's the other night, and her youngest daughter (~23) was there. Some blurb about gov't getting in her business prompted her (daughter) to utter this jewel:

Quote:
I don't know much about gov't, or politics, but, I'm pretty sure they need to stay out of my vagina.
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Old 09-24-2012, 11:23 PM   #123
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved.
...They're neither warped nor evil at heart.
...They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities.

They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy.
...They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . .

They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . .

Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.
...Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease.

They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness.
...Their awareness is a curse.

Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message:
...They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology.
...They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee.
...Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor.
- JON WINOKUR
Now get off the fucking lawn.
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:40 PM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Inception
How can you tell how many ideas have been forgotten? How can you know this is the most successful parasite when we can only count the successes?
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:42 PM   #125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimhelm View Post
#7 is the one I wanted to quote... but the whole list is fookin true

Attachment 40774
OUTSTANDING SIR!
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Old 09-26-2012, 02:19 PM   #126
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
How can you tell how many ideas have been forgotten? How can you know this is the most successful parasite when we can only count the successes?
If it was good, it won't be forgotten, and can't be killed.
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Old 09-29-2012, 02:46 PM   #127
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On Theodore Roosevelt:

Quote:
"Look at that magnificent bastard up there. It's like somebody crossbred a walrus with the spirit of war."
~Robert Brockway @ cracked.com
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Old 10-31-2012, 04:23 PM   #128
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Quote:
"My advice is, post unto others as you would have them post unto you."
~Undertoad 10/31/12
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:35 PM   #129
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.
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Old 11-05-2012, 05:33 PM   #130
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Quote:
"We spend the first year teaching them to walk and to talk, and then spend the rest of their lives telling them to shut up and sit down, and that's not what being a kid should be."
~Neil deGrasse Tyson
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Old 11-05-2012, 05:41 PM   #131
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Word.
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Old 11-07-2012, 01:43 PM   #132
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Quote:
"Colorado will no longer have laws that steer people toward using alcohol, and adults will be free to use marijuana instead if that is what they prefer. And we will be better off as a society because of it."
~Mason Tvert, co-director of the Colorado pro-legalization campaign
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Old 02-07-2013, 01:41 PM   #133
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Paraphrasing:

Quote:
If dogs can do it, you can watch it. Cats aren't like that. Cats are like Baptists. You know they raise hell, you just can't catch 'em at it.
Quote:
While all the other guys were off practicing football, I was at home, practicing the guitar. And it paid off, too.

I can kick this guitar sixty yards.
~Jim Stafford
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Old 03-26-2013, 08:28 AM   #134
monster
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saw this in IM's Sig. From Maybell C apparently.

Swans should never despair over ducks not liking them.

exactly. it's a shame it's so hard for so many swans to get past having been an ugly duckling. We need to improve our cygnet pride fostering skills
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Old 04-09-2013, 02:46 PM   #135
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Quote:
"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
~Margaret Thatcher
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