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Old 10-27-2005, 09:09 AM   #76
dar512
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothmoniker
the new ones are for shite.
I dunno.
Legacy sounds pretty fine to me. Listen to dot com eyes.
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Old 10-27-2005, 01:17 PM   #77
Elspode
I Know I Suck...You Know I Suck...Still Love The Cellar
 
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Tonchi wakes up one morning to discover that she has miraculously gotten DSL overnight. Unfortunately, she left her computer on and had never bothered with a firewall, so her machine is groaning under the load of viri and spyware it contains. The only thing worse is that her hard drive is completely filled with spam emails and adult anime featuring Sailor Moon.

I wish I had any self-discipline.
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Old 10-27-2005, 02:05 PM   #78
mrnoodle
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Elspode has an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Nature compensates, however, by removing his intelligence. He goes 3 weeks without a bowel movement, just to show that he can. Three staffers at the colonic irrigation clinic resigned in protest.

I wish I knew how to convince people not to commit adultery.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:56 PM   #79
BigV
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After wasting your breath on these stupid people you have a brainstorm! You decide that experience is the best teacher. You hook up with the hawt MILF wearing the short skirt in the front row. It is fantastic! It is so mind-blowingly off the scale stimulating in *every* way you begin to wonder why you ever opposed the idea in the first place. As you ponder this, your refractory period is interrupted by a loud thud in the other room, a bright flash of light that rapidly fades to darkness and the contrast of the of the cool bathroom tile on the side of your face to the spreading sweet pool of warmth coming from the back of your head. You do not suffer.

Nor do you live to see the garish tabloid-noir pictures splashed on the front page of you, or what was left of you splashed around the bathroom and the hands of the jealous husband. You wish is granted as you serve as an astonishingly and revoltingly potent example or why adultery is a bad idea.

I wish more people were content with less stuff.
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Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-27-2005, 04:14 PM   #80
Elspode
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A wormhole opens in space and swallows the Earth. Through some unknown, but undoubtedly pretty damn complex process, everyone is hurled back through time, and all of their stuff vanishes, save for the merest necessities of life. People look around at the fresh air, the simpler world they live in, and are immediately content. They are, in fact, so content, that they become super-Luddites, and refuse to develop any of the lost technologies...even the essential ones.

Everyone dies from the common cold.

I wish the correct fax number had been put on this damn lien waiver.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 10-27-2005, 05:20 PM   #81
Griff
stick them with the pointy end
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrnoodle
Elspode has an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Nature compensates, however, by removing his intelligence. He goes 3 weeks without a bowel movement, just to show that he can. Three staffers at the colonic irrigation clinic resigned in protest.
sidebar: this is some funny shit
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:12 PM   #82
lumberjim
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great, now this thread will devolve into bunch of crappy puns.

I, for one, think that stinks.
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:18 PM   #83
BigV
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Poof! Thread is rerailed from peril of bad puns. Unfortunately, all the humor is on the side of the tracks and replies glide by unemcumbered by humor as well. Granted wishes come with generic corruptions like, you get your wish then die. Next.

I wish lumberjim would construct his next couple of replies to this thread in his poet mode.
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Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:29 PM   #84
lumberjim
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forsooth.
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:35 PM   #85
lumberjim
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[big black guy voice]watch while i soliloquize yo ass.[/bbgv]

his wish granted
his ass planted
in a chair
under his hair
big V, you must see
wishes he was me
now exposed,
he feels hosed
now i wish
for some fish
on my fish wish dish.
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:43 PM   #86
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
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LJ has his fish
too bad they are piranha
skeleton remains




a coming winter
of unfailing contenment
wished for in the fall
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Old 10-27-2005, 06:48 PM   #87
BigV
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Poof!

Grouper, Tuna, Salmon, Bass
Compared to lj' poetics,
I generate more hysterics.
Now you all can kiss my ass.


A wish? Not really, a fervent hope
Is really more like it.
Saw the bait, took it.
Please, don't sound like a dope.
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Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-27-2005, 07:30 PM   #88
Elspode
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A bored fairy godmother, having seen SM's beautifully expressed, but sadly misspelled wish, waves her wand and grants him a winter of containment (because she can't spell very well, either)...in the Colorado State Penitentiary.

I wish I could play Blues and sing like the guy I'm listening to now on the station BigV turned me on to.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 10-27-2005, 07:35 PM   #89
BigV
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I refuse to corrupt this wish. Next caller, please. I'm listening too.

I wish you all could hear it.
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Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-27-2005, 07:38 PM   #90
Griff
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You posted the name so we all could, but none of us get it.

I wish I had a better photo for that other thread.
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