Eulogy

[orthodoc]

So sorry the kids are going through this, and you with them, V.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Thankfully the kids are adults. It doesn't make it easier for them, but they do have better coping skills than dependent child. There's no good time to lose a parent or friend.

[lumberjim]

Not great timing either... probably pretty distracted on your first day at the new gig. You should probably let your new boss in on it. BE strong... because that's all you can do.

[BigV]

Thank you, each and all, my friends. You're one of my greatest blessings. Thank you.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

Not great timing either... probably pretty distracted on your first day at the new gig. You should probably let your new boss in on it. BE strong... because that's all you can do.

Holy crabcakes, batman. THIS.

Yeah, very not good timing. As a matter of fact, when it became clear that she was not going to die the night before I started this new job, I finally definitely decided that I would be going into work, on our agreed upon first day. I know, me, me, me, me, etc. True, true enough. But I seriously contemplated having to call my soon-to-be-new boss and tell him why I wasn't showing up. *That* line of thinking was not as bad as the actual reality of the rest of the situation here, but it was bad enough. As it turns out, I did tell him today about my situation and he was receptive. Still.

Now I have a minute to give you all some details. Tink and our three kids had spent Sunday watching the Seahawks piss away another fourth quarter lead, then the kids all went home. Sometime around bedtime, I got a text from SonofV that he wouldn't be home because they were all going to the hospital, right now. No calls or texts to any of them were answered for a couple hours, a couple stress filled hours for me. Finally, he phoned me and gave me the details. She was having a lot of trouble breathing, very phlegm-y, and she's not strong enough to cough, so she couldn't get enough air. Like.. you know, drowning. Horrible. Her husband, F, called 911 and she was transported to the hospital. By the time the kids saw her (for the second time that day) she was blue, she "looked like a zombie from The Walking Dead." I don't think SonofV was just cracking wise, this isn't comic material.

An oxygen tent, and a different (more powerful?) APAP/CPAP somethingsomething machine, not a ventilator, was fitted and pumping 100% O2 into her. This eventually helped enough that she could sit up. The kids all stayed until very late at night, none of my messages were returned and I was surprised to see them back at the house when I was up at 8 am. They'd gotten home about 5 hours earlier, and straight to sleep, so they could take the day watch from their sister.

So now, the question is how to give her the best possible treatment, and where, home or hospital. *I* am not part of that decision making process/group, and that's ok with me. Of course I feel saddened by her situation, and I'm interested and motivated to do all I can to support my kids and my the other members of my family of choice. I'm still close to her sisters and their husbands and my former nephews and nieces. They're losing family too.

As of now, she's still in the hospital, I've completed my first day of work on my new job in a new home in a new county and new area code. I'm *much* farther away from the center of the action and my ability to respond, physically is much more complicated (job and distance). Still I know that I've done my best to help them all prepare for what they're going through. We all know it will get worse before it gets better. It's grim, it's stressful.

Rambling, I'm just rambling.

Thanks again my friends. You all form a major part of *my* support network. I sincerely appreciate that.

[Undertoad]

Sorry man.

[limey]

My thoughts are with you V as you do the best for your family in their time of trouble. X

Sent by thought transference

[fargon]

Our prayers are with you and your family.

[glatt]

Thanks for filling us in, BigV. Good luck getting through this time. You can do it.

[xoxoxoBruce]

So I'm assuming you're in Canada, at a reasonably doable, but time consuming, travel distance. That may be a blessing in disguise, making you available, but not it the center of the turmoil. You can stay in touch and informed through the kids, but not so close you feel you should be doing 'something-but-what'.
Hopefully, being in a "they also serve who only stand and wait" situation, will help you concentrate on the new job a little easier. Whatever the case, we know it's not easy, and wish you well.

[lumberjim]

County, not country

[xoxoxoBruce]

nevermind. No wait, what I said still applies.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

being in a "they also serve who only stand and wait" situation,

Thanks for this reference, I had never heard it before and it was a nice poem to look up.

V, I hope things get easier soon. Being emotionally close to your kids is more important than physically close. They know you're there for them, and that's what matters.

[BigV]

Tink died today at 2:40. All our kids were there, her husband, and other close family. Very wrenching, everyone is exhausted.

I'm composing this on the phone, so I can't really expand easily. Plus, I am pretty wrung out myself. I'll post more later.

[sexobon]

Condolences.

Rest up when you can.

[Undertoad]

Sorry to hear of this.