Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 361

xoxoxoBruce · 11-03-2015, 06:37 AM

All you need is brass. Brass is all you need.

Gravdigr · 11-05-2015, 02:38 PM

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Gravdigr · 11-07-2015, 04:55 PM

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Carruthers · 11-07-2015, 05:00 PM

I wonder if that was the same chap who got a Viagra tablet stuck in his throat?

He had a stiff neck for three weeks.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-10-2015, 01:08 PM

Two mathematicians were having dinner. One was complaining: ‘The average person is a mathematical idiot. People cannot do arithmetic correctly, cannot balance a checkbook, cannot calculate a tip, cannot do percents, …’ The other mathematician disagreed: ‘You’re exaggerating. People know all the math they need to know.’

Later in the dinner the complainer went to the men’s room. The other mathematician beckoned the waitress to his table and said, ‘The next time you come past our table, I am going to stop you and ask you a question. No matter what I say, I want you to answer by saying “x squared.”‘ She agreed.

When the other mathematician returned, his companion said, ‘I’m tired of your complaining. I’m going to stop the next person who passes our table and ask him or her an elementary calculus question, and I bet the person can solve it.’ Soon the waitress came by and he asked: ‘Excuse me, Miss, but can you tell me what the integral of 2x with respect to x is?’ The waitress replied: ‘x squared.’ The mathematician said, ‘See!’ His friend said, ‘Oh … I guess you were right.’ And the waitress said, ‘Plus a constant.’

Gravdigr · 11-10-2015, 03:13 PM

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaYeahIdon'tgetitIhatemath.

Gravdigr · 11-10-2015, 03:54 PM

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Gravdigr · 11-19-2015, 05:36 PM

Gravdigr · 11-28-2015, 04:52 PM

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monster · 11-28-2015, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.."

and then they laughed?

xoxoxoBruce · 11-28-2015, 11:42 PM

You wouldn't understand because you're the right woman .

xoxoxoBruce · 12-05-2015, 04:41 AM

I shudder at the though...

XAgent · 12-11-2015, 11:57 PM

Gravdigr · 12-20-2015, 01:59 PM

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xoxoxoBruce · 12-20-2015, 09:55 PM

A businessman in the first class cabin decided to talk to the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant: “What’s your name?”

Flight Attendant: “Angela Benz, sir”

Businessman: “Lovely name … any relation to the Mercedes Benz folks?”

Flight Attendant: “Yes sir, very close”

Businessman: “How close?”

Flight Attendant: “Same price”

11-03-2015, 06:37 AM	#5401
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	All you need is brass. Brass is all you need. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-05-2015, 02:38 PM	#5402
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-07-2015, 04:55 PM	#5403
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-07-2015, 05:00 PM	#5404
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	I wonder if that was the same chap who got a Viagra tablet stuck in his throat? He had a stiff neck for three weeks. __________________

11-10-2015, 01:08 PM	#5405
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Two mathematicians were having dinner. One was complaining: ‘The average person is a mathematical idiot. People cannot do arithmetic correctly, cannot balance a checkbook, cannot calculate a tip, cannot do percents, …’ The other mathematician disagreed: ‘You’re exaggerating. People know all the math they need to know.’ Later in the dinner the complainer went to the men’s room. The other mathematician beckoned the waitress to his table and said, ‘The next time you come past our table, I am going to stop you and ask you a question. No matter what I say, I want you to answer by saying “x squared.”‘ She agreed. When the other mathematician returned, his companion said, ‘I’m tired of your complaining. I’m going to stop the next person who passes our table and ask him or her an elementary calculus question, and I bet the person can solve it.’ Soon the waitress came by and he asked: ‘Excuse me, Miss, but can you tell me what the integral of 2x with respect to x is?’ The waitress replied: ‘x squared.’ The mathematician said, ‘See!’ His friend said, ‘Oh … I guess you were right.’ And the waitress said, ‘Plus a constant.’ __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-10-2015, 03:13 PM	#5406
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaYeahIdon'tgetitIhatemath. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-10-2015, 03:54 PM	#5407
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-19-2015, 05:36 PM	#5408
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-28-2015, 04:52 PM	#5409
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-28-2015, 11:42 PM	#5411
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	You wouldn't understand because you're the right woman . __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-05-2015, 04:41 AM	#5412
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	I shudder at the though... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-11-2015, 11:57 PM	#5413
XAgent Vivacious Vivisectionist Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 36	__________________ http://www.habamon.com/monster/Jochser Help me raise my Habamon!

12-20-2015, 01:59 PM	#5414
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-20-2015, 09:55 PM	#5415
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	A businessman in the first class cabin decided to talk to the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant: “What’s your name?” Flight Attendant: “Angela Benz, sir” Businessman: “Lovely name … any relation to the Mercedes Benz folks?” Flight Attendant: “Yes sir, very close” Businessman: “How close?” Flight Attendant: “Same price” __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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