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Old 01-20-2012, 11:18 AM   #1
monster
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Dwellars Urgently in need of Literal Assistance

We all have our moans and whinges about car repair bills, rising health costs, losing our jobs and not having as much to put in the tip jar as we would like, and many of us are in dire need of a little monetary boost, but nothing saddens me more than those who suffer in silence because they feel too embarrassed to share their problem with us.

Inability to afford the letters required to type words correctly is nothing to be ashamed of. True, it is a problem that we like to believe no longer exists in the first world, but for some, it more than exists, it dominates. Using the cheaper u instead of premium rate o in words like "love", replacing r with the more heavily discounted w in words like "sorry", and occasionally completely omitting the last letter of a word to save money (e.g. luv, words ending with "ing", and –for me the saddest of all- being unable to type the f on the end of “of”. ). Imagine how it feels to have to submit posts, desperately hoping that other dwellers will be skim-reading and have moved on to the next word before they notice the incompleteness…….

Several dwellars need your help RIGHT NOW. I tried to help one discretely, by gently pointing out that he had an eff off, but he took it completely the wrong way! This problem needs diplomacy.

I think we need a “Take a Letter, Leave a Letter” tray for those who find themselves a little short at the moment of reckoning. So when you find yourself typing “avaiailable” –as I often do- just drop those vowels right in the tray. And Brits, please consider spelling the American way and freeing up some Us, Is and Ss. MORE THAN THAT, though, we also need a financial donation jar to help the more serious cases, like those who need to purchase two Ts and an E in order to be able to refer to things that are not big.

So Dig Deep, and help ur fellow dwellers sufferin from letter deficiency. Together, we can make a their worlds a lil better.




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Old 01-20-2012, 11:29 AM   #2
infinite monkey
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Imma donate a g, o, i, n, another g, a t, and another o.

However, I'm going to need someone to donate an m, and an a.

It's a fair deal. Give 'til it hurts.

(There's a u and another n, but I'm going to need an apostrophe for that one.)
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Old 01-20-2012, 11:30 AM   #3
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

That's all I could afford right now, but will be back when I can get to the ATM*.


*Pun
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Old 01-20-2012, 11:41 AM   #4
monster
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Y

....so you can complete that last word......

poor lamb.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:07 PM   #5
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I like missing out the 'g' in words ending with 'ing'.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:22 PM   #6
infinite monkey
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Fine, then take an apostrophe, leave a g.

As in missin'

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Old 01-20-2012, 12:26 PM   #7
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
I like missing out the 'g' in words ending with 'ing'.
Some psychos like to miss their meds. But that's OK, society needs a little of everything to spice it up.

At some point, though, you will feel a need in your life and turn to G, and when you do, he'll be right there, waiting in the tray for his prodi'al.

Bles'd b
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:29 PM   #8
HungLikeJesus
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It reminds me of this, from the Onion:
Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients
Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:31 PM   #9
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I am prepared to give up the completely superfluous n from the made up word if'n.
It might not last though, giving things up isn't my strong suit.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:32 PM   #10
monster
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good job they didn't give the Ethipians any Ds.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:35 PM   #11
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
I am prepared to give up the completely superfluous n from the made up word if'n.
It might not last though, giving things up isn't my strong suit.
But just think about the knock-on effect: every small drop creates big ripple. If you donate that n, you can rehome the apostrophe on tho', freeing up a whole "ugh" for some poor soul in desperate need of an expression of disgust! Baby steps lead to giant leaps!!!1!!!1!
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:37 PM   #12
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If'n Imma jokin' 'round and doin' a hillbilly accent or makin' fun of that dude that started 'imma' I like to try my best to use the proper punctuation if possible, even if'n it all be in fun.

'Cuz thass what all them fancy writers and stuff do in them books I read. I likes to call it the Huck Finn Guideline, or the Uncle Remus Rule.

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Old 01-20-2012, 12:39 PM   #13
monster
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Originally Posted by infinite monkey View Post
'Cuz thass what all them fancy writers and stuff do in them books I read.
Did you read them as audio books?
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:40 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Did you read them as audio books?
Eff'n NO! I can't stand to have some daggone idgit flappin' in my ear when I can read jus' fine, thanks.

Thass lazy like them paypuls who need medimacations.
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:41 PM   #15
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I have to P.
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