The brain is a vicious little bugger

[lookout123]

I've had a couple of PM's recently asking about Lil Lookout's progress so I figured I'd better get around to updating you all.

I originally took LL to a psychologist because he appeared to be withdrawing from things he enjoyed and his emotions were touchy at best. He hovered between sad and angry most of the time and there was evidence that he was processing external stimuli in completely incorrect ways.

We met with a child specialist I've known and trusted for some years. Parents, grandparents, and teachers all filled out the surveys to describe his behavior and the results were amazing. LL scored off the charts in Anxiety and Depression and scored highly in all the other areas of concern as well. While a history of depression runs in my family the doctor pointed out that LL's results were nearly textbook ADHD. I pointed out that he's never hyper, at which point I learned a kid doesn't have to be hyper to be ADHD. The doctor also asked us to take LL off Singular, which he's been on to control his severe allergies which can trigger his asthma. He'd been taking Singular since he was 3 or 4.

The biggest question mark was whether his anxiety and depression were causing ADHD like results or whether his ADHD was causing elevated anxiety and depression. We set several follow up appointments for counselling and just kept moving along.

Within two weeks we had a totally different child. The singular was flushed out and it became apparent that the depressive tendencies of singular had suppressed a lot. LL is extremely hyper. He can't sit still long enough to even eat a bowl of cereal. He couldn't even hold a clear conversation without chasing tangents. His emotions were just running rampant. He'd go from laughing to sobbing to screaming and back to happy in the space of twenty minutes.

After talking with the psychologist we decided it was time for medication, at least until he has time to learn some coping techniques. We went to the pediatrician with the formal diagnosis and reports. He laughed it off and said everybody is a little ADHD, "just get him exercising more". He's not our pediatrician anymore. We went to a well known practice that only deals with ADHD. They ran every test and survey known to man and came to the same conclusion we already had plus one more concern. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. WTF? They said it was a possibility and something worth monitoring.

LL has been on his medication for two months now with minor tinkering for the proper dose for him. First it was too low, then too high, now we're doing pretty well in the middle. While more hyper and fidgety than he used to be, he is miles ahead of where he was before the medication. He can focus well enough to stay on task with only gentle reminders and we can actually have conversations again.

The downside is that while the focus part of the problem seems to be improving other areas are getting worse. Suddenly the kid is tanking at school, he's developing a mean streak, there is absolutely nothing too small for him to want to argue about, and he is still on an emotional pendulum. His most recent test results combined with counselling sessions have raised a new question. The symptoms he is now presenting are very very consistent with Bipolar Disorder. They don't diagnose that at this age but he is on the grid for that. The psychologist and the ADHD specialist are not connected by anything other than this patient but they agree on what they are seeing.

Either LL has ADHD with severe oppositional defiant disorder combined or he has brain chemistry consistent with Bipolar Disorder. Either way he is pretty well fucked right now. I almost long for the days when he was on singular. He may have been depressed but everything else was in check.

Anyway, that's my update.

[limey]

Oh, Lookout! How very hard for you! I wish you and your family the strength to cope with this.

[xoxoxoBruce]

[Clodfobble]

I feel for you, lookout. Keep fighting the good fight. You love him, and that's what's most important.

[Pico and ME]

Lookout my stepson is ADHD with OPD too. Get the book "Ending The Homework Hassle" by John Rosemond. It will help a lot. I was able to get an F student making A's and B's with the help of this book. These kids respond really well to firm, structured and CONSISTANT consequences.

[Aliantha]

My thoughts are with you lookout. No matter which way it goes things are going to be a struggle. It's clear that you are a great Dad though, so just don't lose hope. There are so many more options these days than there ever were before. It's not too much to bear. You have broad shoulders. You can do it.

[Griff]

Sorry bro.

[Pie]

Man, that's rough, Lookout. I'm hoping you and your family find a way to help your son deal with this.

[Clodfobble]

I'm sure there's a medical reason, but why can't he continue to take the Singulair? And is there any chance that the increase in negative behavior is made worse because of allergy symptoms running rampant, now that he's not getting any relief in that arena?

[ZenGum]

Thanks for the update. I really hope LL comes through this and gets back on track.
Best wishes for the Lookout Clan.

[Juniper]

Wow, that's really rough! LL is lucky to have you.

A friend of mine has a kid with ODD/ADHD too. Her son can be wonderful - absolutely charming and fun, and in fact my daughter (who is 13) thinks that this kid (who is 11, her friend's little brother) is absolutely COOL! But I've seen other sides of him and his behavior can be nightmarishly hard to manage. He argues about things you wouldn't even think needed argument. Funny how that works.

I find it really interesting what you said about the Singulair. My son took Singulair for about 3 years to control allergies; he took Zyrtec also. Now, we're very fortunate that my son has never had any major behavior problems; in fact, he's very sweet and easygoing most of the time. Our problem with Chris has been serious underachievement at school. The brains are there, but the performance ain't happening. He tested as gifted. Teachers couldn't figure out why he was so unmotivated.

Well, he had been complaining about taking so much allergy medicine. It made him tired, he said, so we had him take it before bed. Mornings were still draggy and he wouldn't eat. He understood that it was a decision between allergy misery and whatever the medicine made him feel, but that was really sad. I understand. If I take Benadryl in the evening to help me sleep, I'm groggy all day too - they say it wears off in 8 hours, but that's not necessarily so.

Last year, he just stopped taking the stuff. We let him be responsible for it and he made the decision, without telling us, that he would quit. I figured that, heck, it's his nose, right? Apparently he's outgrown those allergies to some degree because they don't bother him as much.

This year, his teacher suggested we get him tested for ADHD. Not only is he under-performing, he's over-acting too! He's the class clown. He can't sit still. He's still a sweetie and everyone loves him, but damn, charm will only get you so far!

This year, I'm afraid, was a wash-out. Bad grades. Bad test scores. No more gifted/enriched class; he's back to the average for 6th grade. I was blaming him, but you know, that story gets me thinking -- it could be the Singulair. Now that he's had it out of his system for a few months, his moods are beginning to normalize a bit and he concentrates better. I know this is the opposite of what you report, but I wonder if the hyper stuff Chris experienced was sort of a backlash?

We really need to be more vigilant about what goes into our kids' bodies!

I wish you the best of luck -- you'll get it figured out, I just know you will! Keep us updated.

[Juniper]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I'm sure there's a medical reason, but why can't he continue to take the Singulair? And is there any chance that the increase in negative behavior is made worse because of allergy symptoms running rampant, now that he's not getting any relief in that arena?

Good point. Allergies don't just make noses stuffy and eyes watery, they affect the brain too. I forget that sometimes. Maybe he could take something besides Singulair; there are a lot of allergy meds to choose from.

[Queen of the Ryche]

Oh wow Lookout. Sounds like you've got your hands full. Good thing your heart and mind are so big - I've heard more success stories than not with both ADHD and Bipolar from detirmined parents like you. Consult many doctors - you will find the right answer for your son. Hang in there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I'm sure there's a medical reason, but why can't he continue to take the Singulair? And is there any chance that the increase in negative behavior is made worse because of allergy symptoms running rampant, now that he's not getting any relief in that arena?

I was wondering the same.

As far as doctors and medicine go. Less is always more.
Therapy is best. I say this not because I am an expert but because I somehow failed to understand a few things while mine was growing up. There's so many people yakkity yakking all the time. Everyone has something to say but bottom line is they all go home to their own problems and your the one ultimately that will live with the decisions you make.

(meaning solitarily with could have should haves of parental regret and remorse)

[DanaC]

Tough gig, lookout. Must be so distressing to see him going through this. *hugs* I have no advice to offer. But I wish you well and I hope the doctors manage to find something that helps.