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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 08-21-2004, 07:55 PM   #1
Clodfobble
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SO... FRUSTRATED...

My stepson is a picky eater, to put it mildly. Assuming you count all kinds of crackers under one heading, I can literally count on one hand the foods he will semi-reliably eat. Then I can add in the number of foods he has ever even put in his mouth, without needing any of my toes.

My husband and I are not pushovers. Dinner is what it is, and if he won't eat it, well, he'll be hungrier at the next meal (and for Christ's sake, we're not serving him liver and brussels sprouts, it's freaking macaroni and cheese, and hotdogs, and chicken nuggets, and pizza, and, and, and...). If he tries even one bite of anything that's in front of him he can have one of the staple foods he'll eat, but that's only worked once. Tonight we upgraded to "unless you eat one bite of something on your plate, it's going to have to be bedtime right now." After throwing the requisite fit, and then spending an hour laying in bed, he informed us that he wanted to eat. He held a single tiny bite of canned pears in his mouth for a full three or four minutes, drank big gulps of water around it several times--and then spit it out.

I could stab my fucking eyes out, I really could.
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Old 08-21-2004, 08:41 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble
My stepson is a picky eater, to put it mildly. Assuming you count all kinds of crackers under one heading, I can literally count on one hand the foods he will semi-reliably eat. Then I can add in the number of foods he has ever even put in his mouth, without needing any of my toes.

My husband and I are not pushovers. Dinner is what it is, and if he won't eat it, well, he'll be hungrier at the next meal (and for Christ's sake, we're not serving him liver and brussels sprouts, it's freaking macaroni and cheese, and hotdogs, and chicken nuggets, and pizza, and, and, and...). If he tries even one bite of anything that's in front of him he can have one of the staple foods he'll eat, but that's only worked once. Tonight we upgraded to "unless you eat one bite of something on your plate, it's going to have to be bedtime right now." After throwing the requisite fit, and then spending an hour laying in bed, he informed us that he wanted to eat. He held a single tiny bite of canned pears in his mouth for a full three or four minutes, drank big gulps of water around it several times--and then spit it out.

I could stab my fucking eyes out, I really could.
Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?
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Old 08-21-2004, 09:46 PM   #3
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I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.
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Old 08-21-2004, 10:16 PM   #4
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My goodness, how old is he? Tell him he could have had it really bad and had Joan Crawford for a stepmommy (red meat anyone?).
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Old 08-21-2004, 10:41 PM   #5
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Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?

He's two and a half, allergic to peanuts and eggs (and nothing else, he had a full allergy workup after the discovery of the peanut reaction.)

I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.

That's not so bad--at least you don't have to say "I only eat Ritz crackers."

Last edited by Clodfobble; 08-21-2004 at 10:44 PM.
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:31 AM   #6
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I have it on good authority that he will not actually starve.

He will eat. Do not cave in. Parental guilt is one hell of a motivator to cave in during the "i only want to eat fishsticks" battle.

Oh, and if he says he's going to hold his breath until he turns blue, just let him.

Assuming no actual airway obstructions, if he really toughs it out, he'll pass out and start breathing again normally.

Spectacular.

Most curtainmonkeys only try it once.
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:34 AM   #7
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Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.
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Old 08-22-2004, 02:04 AM   #8
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I sympathize. Our daughter actually threw up zucchini after we insisted that she eat a couple bites. She's quite the drama queen.
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Old 08-22-2004, 02:22 AM   #9
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You're the mommy. He's the kid.
HOOOOOYAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!

We went thru this with my step son , he was in the fishsticks and mac + cheese catagory .
This kid would pick out specks of onion POWDER from soup !!!
One time after church we went to Red Lobster for lunch , I told the waitress we would have 4 sweet iced teas( me , my wife , step son , and step daughter ) and an order of calamri while we deseded what we whanted to eat . Michael was evedently hungery when the food and drinks arived and dug in to the calimari , His mom and I just looked at each other funny as he continued to dig in . I told him what he was eating was squid , he didn't beleve me . When the waitress came back I asked he what it was that michael was eating , she said calimiri , yes but what is camari ?? i asked , she said squid . I thought Michaels face was going to turn in side out But he kept on eating it .
Now he is telling me how good susie is !!!!!
Weird how these things turn out , ain't it
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Old 08-22-2004, 07:54 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by zippyt
Now he is telling me how good susie is !!!!!
Man, I hope I don't regret asking, but what (or who) is susie?

Several of my friends have been successful with the "he'll eat when he's hungry" approach. In general, although it might make you feel like a better parent or more reasonable person (which, don't forget, a 2 1/2 year-old is not), the less bargaining and game playing about food, the more compliance and peace at the table.

Thank goodness, my kids haven't been so picky as to refuse to eat, but one of them doesn't like dissimilar foods to touch. To this day (she's 12), she's never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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Old 08-22-2004, 08:58 AM   #11
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Thank goodness, my kids haven't been so picky as to refuse to eat, but one of them doesn't like dissimilar foods to touch.

I was always like that--there's a character in the movie "Toys" who talks about being a military man and wanting little barricades between each of his foods on his plate.

Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.

Oh, I totally agree. But for the most part we only have him for 2 day stretches. He can and has refused to eat until he goes back to his mother's house.
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Old 08-22-2004, 09:04 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.
This is me. If you don't want them eating it, don't buy it. You are not responsible for what the kid eats, just for what you offer. Sometimes their favorite things need to go away for a awhile so they can explore other things - with my kids it's breakfast cereal. I don't mind them having it per say, but when they start eating it to the exclusoin of all other foods, I stop buying it
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Old 08-22-2004, 09:25 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by SteveDallas
I sympathize. Our daughter actually threw up zucchini after we insisted that she eat a couple bites. She's quite the drama queen.
It's not all drama. From my memories as a picky eater, she may have actually been nauseous. Probably psychosomatic, but real nonetheless.
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Old 08-22-2004, 05:44 PM   #14
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I agree, but the psychosomatic nausea came from the drama queenliness.
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Old 08-22-2004, 06:02 PM   #15
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You guys are so brave actually having children. I would have zero patience with this sort of thing.
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