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Technology Computing, programming, science, electronics, telecommunications, etc. |
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10-21-2008, 09:46 AM | #1 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Have we discussed this invention yet?
I have this feeling of deja vu but I can't be sure. I've gotta go now.
http://www.stopabductions.com/
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
10-21-2008, 09:58 AM | #2 | |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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I don't think so. It sounds like it's pretty successful.
Quote:
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10-21-2008, 10:09 AM | #3 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Oh for goodness sake.
Aliens can only abduct you if you have certain chemicals in your bloodstream. They use tracking devices and people with the relevant chemicals show up like beacons. Specifically anyone on anti-psychotic or psychotrophic drugs. This has been found to be the case in over 60% of abductions. It's difficult to specify because of course the aliens have now infiltrated the drugs industry, and occasional and subtle changes have been made to many medications so that people show up on alien scanners. Depending on metabolism, alcohol can sometimes show up as a marker. This accounts for approx 30% of abductions. Teetotallers are less often taken (less than 5%, with the other 5% classified as "other"), but any number of products now have hidden alcohol in them, including many low budget foods. It also serves as an addictive ingredient, making people buy more when they don't even like the taste, just like alcoholics. Some people however are able to "tip-over" i.e. drink so much that they saturate the alien's screen and make their exact location difficult to pin point. This is what is assumed to have happened in cases where people who have no drugs in their system have been abducted. Given that we only have the word of these people regarding what they hae ingested however, it is impossible to be 100% sure. Wearing a hat is unlikely to help anyone, and the statistics which suggest it does are meaningless - everyone knows that statistics can be manipulated to show anything you like.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
10-21-2008, 10:57 AM | #4 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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I am placing a large order - If anyone in the Philly area would like to save a little on the shipping costs, pm me and we can meet up and tape our hats together one day over Chinese.
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
10-21-2008, 11:38 AM | #5 |
Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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What can I say? I haven't been abducted. (No relation to the company, just a satisfied customer.)
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10-21-2008, 12:22 PM | #6 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I have abducted several aliens, and none of them had those helmets. I'm just saying...
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
10-21-2008, 12:56 PM | #7 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I wonder if I could line tighty whities with that material to prevent the anal probe?
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
10-21-2008, 03:19 PM | #8 |
Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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10-21-2008, 04:41 PM | #9 |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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I hate charlatans. That guy doesn't understand abduction protocols at all.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
10-27-2008, 12:00 AM | #10 |
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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I for one welcome our new alien overlords. With any luck, they'll keep the robots from suppressing us when we are uncooperative.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
10-27-2008, 04:22 AM | #11 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
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What if they are robot aliens? or would that be, alien robots? Either way, we're screwed.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
10-27-2008, 06:59 AM | #12 |
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
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They are coming. And we are watching.
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Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
10-27-2008, 07:16 AM | #13 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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"The chances of anything scoming from Mars
Are a million to one" he said The chances of anything coming from Mars Are a million to one But still, they come....
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
03-19-2017, 01:40 PM | #14 | |
An Awesome Dude
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
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Quote:
Get a pic of a known suspect and put it there like I see one there now!!!!!! Thats quite a good site!!!!!!! |
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03-19-2017, 02:00 PM | #15 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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That's foolish, why would anyone want to stay here.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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