Have we discussed this invention yet?

footfootfoot · 10-21-2008, 09:46 AM

I have this feeling of deja vu but I can't be sure. I've gotta go now.

http://www.stopabductions.com/

glatt · 10-21-2008, 09:58 AM

I don't think so. It sounds like it's pretty successful.

Quote:

The thought screen helmet has effectively stopped several types of aliens from abducting or controlling humans. Only two failures from standard thought screen helmets have been reported since 1998 for people being abducted by aliens themselves. A third failure in 2005 was from a cloth helmet with a smaller area of Velostat which had a Velcro strap which was easily removed by an alien-human hybrid.

A fourth failure in 2007 was with a frail woman who had her helmet removed by two alien-human hybrids who snuck up behind her, tackled her and forcedly removed it. The helmet still works for people being abducted by aliens, but not by their alien-human hybrids who are now integrating into our societies.

Sundae · 10-21-2008, 10:09 AM

Oh for goodness sake.
Aliens can only abduct you if you have certain chemicals in your bloodstream. They use tracking devices and people with the relevant chemicals show up like beacons. Specifically anyone on anti-psychotic or psychotrophic drugs. This has been found to be the case in over 60% of abductions.

It's difficult to specify because of course the aliens have now infiltrated the drugs industry, and occasional and subtle changes have been made to many medications so that people show up on alien scanners.

Depending on metabolism, alcohol can sometimes show up as a marker. This accounts for approx 30% of abductions. Teetotallers are less often taken (less than 5%, with the other 5% classified as "other"), but any number of products now have hidden alcohol in them, including many low budget foods. It also serves as an addictive ingredient, making people buy more when they don't even like the taste, just like alcoholics.

Some people however are able to "tip-over" i.e. drink so much that they saturate the alien's screen and make their exact location difficult to pin point. This is what is assumed to have happened in cases where people who have no drugs in their system have been abducted. Given that we only have the word of these people regarding what they hae ingested however, it is impossible to be 100% sure.

Wearing a hat is unlikely to help anyone, and the statistics which suggest it does are meaningless - everyone knows that statistics can be manipulated to show anything you like.

classicman · 10-21-2008, 10:57 AM

I am placing a large order - If anyone in the Philly area would like to save a little on the shipping costs, pm me and we can meet up and tape our hats together one day over Chinese.

SteveDallas · 10-21-2008, 11:38 AM

What can I say? I haven't been abducted. (No relation to the company, just a satisfied customer.)

lumberjim · 10-21-2008, 12:22 PM

I have abducted several aliens, and none of them had those helmets. I'm just saying...

footfootfoot · 10-21-2008, 12:56 PM

I wonder if I could line tighty whities with that material to prevent the anal probe?

SteveDallas · 10-21-2008, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I have abducted several aliens, and none of them had those helmets. I'm just saying...

So you prefer uncut?

Griff · 10-21-2008, 04:41 PM

I hate charlatans. That guy doesn't understand abduction protocols at all.

Elspode · 10-27-2008, 12:00 AM

I for one welcome our new alien overlords. With any luck, they'll keep the robots from suppressing us when we are uncooperative.

ZenGum · 10-27-2008, 04:22 AM

What if they are robot aliens? or would that be, alien robots? Either way, we're screwed.

TheMercenary · 10-27-2008, 06:59 AM

They are coming. And we are watching.

Sundae · 10-27-2008, 07:16 AM

"The chances of anything scoming from Mars
Are a million to one" he said
The chances of anything coming from Mars
Are a million to one

But still, they come....

Dude111 · 03-19-2017, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

I don't think so. It sounds like it's pretty successful.

Looks quite successful yes!!!

Get a pic of a known suspect and put it there like I see one there now!!!!!!

Thats quite a good site!!!!!!!

xoxoxoBruce · 03-19-2017, 02:00 PM

That's foolish, why would anyone want to stay here.

10-21-2008, 09:46 AM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Have we discussed this invention yet? I have this feeling of deja vu but I can't be sure. I've gotta go now. http://www.stopabductions.com/ __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-21-2008, 10:09 AM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Oh for goodness sake. Aliens can only abduct you if you have certain chemicals in your bloodstream. They use tracking devices and people with the relevant chemicals show up like beacons. Specifically anyone on anti-psychotic or psychotrophic drugs. This has been found to be the case in over 60% of abductions. It's difficult to specify because of course the aliens have now infiltrated the drugs industry, and occasional and subtle changes have been made to many medications so that people show up on alien scanners. Depending on metabolism, alcohol can sometimes show up as a marker. This accounts for approx 30% of abductions. Teetotallers are less often taken (less than 5%, with the other 5% classified as "other"), but any number of products now have hidden alcohol in them, including many low budget foods. It also serves as an addictive ingredient, making people buy more when they don't even like the taste, just like alcoholics. Some people however are able to "tip-over" i.e. drink so much that they saturate the alien's screen and make their exact location difficult to pin point. This is what is assumed to have happened in cases where people who have no drugs in their system have been abducted. Given that we only have the word of these people regarding what they hae ingested however, it is impossible to be 100% sure. Wearing a hat is unlikely to help anyone, and the statistics which suggest it does are meaningless - everyone knows that statistics can be manipulated to show anything you like. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-21-2008, 10:57 AM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I am placing a large order - If anyone in the Philly area would like to save a little on the shipping costs, pm me and we can meet up and tape our hats together one day over Chinese. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-21-2008, 12:22 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I have abducted several aliens, and none of them had those helmets. I'm just saying... __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-21-2008, 12:56 PM	#7
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I wonder if I could line tighty whities with that material to prevent the anal probe? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-21-2008, 11:38 AM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	What can I say? I haven't been abducted. (No relation to the company, just a satisfied customer.)

10-21-2008, 04:41 PM	#9
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I hate charlatans. That guy doesn't understand abduction protocols at all. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-27-2008, 12:00 AM	#10
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I for one welcome our new alien overlords. With any luck, they'll keep the robots from suppressing us when we are uncooperative. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-27-2008, 04:22 AM	#11
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	What if they are robot aliens? or would that be, alien robots? Either way, we're screwed. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

10-27-2008, 06:59 AM	#12
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	They are coming. And we are watching. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

10-27-2008, 07:16 AM	#13
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	"The chances of anything scoming from Mars Are a million to one" he said The chances of anything coming from Mars Are a million to one But still, they come.... __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-19-2017, 02:00 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	That's foolish, why would anyone want to stay here. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode