When the time comes to put down your pet

[chrisinhouston]

Tough decision I'm confronted with. My dog turned 14 in October and I'm fearing the time is close for letting her go and having the vet put her down. Vesta has been my constant companion through so many things. She was a gift from a friend after my previous Lab died, didn't pay a penny for her. We went to the home of the folks that had the litter and the pup picked me out instead of me picking her. She woke up and came over and got in my lap so we took her home.

Since I work out of my home she was with me day and night. She came to Atlanta when I was caretaker for my parents until they died. She drove out to California and Arizona with me once and made the trip back and forth from Atlanta to Houston many times, she was a good car dog.

She's been slowing down for a couple years now, her arthritis is bad and we had to stop taking her for walks over a year ago. Now she has trouble knowing when she needs to go outside to "go". I find little surprises in the house when I get home. I think she's hard of hearing now and her eyes are clouded. Sometimes I wonder if she has dementia as she seems sort of confused. She sleeps most of the time and often doesn't even hear us unless we make a loud noise.

Last night I heard her leave our room and go to the kitchen to drink some water which is not like her. Later she did it again so at 3:30 AM I put on my robe and went out back with her and she had to go which is not like her to go at that time of night. I wonder if the need for water is kidney related.

So today while she slept I called my vet to get a price for euthanasia. Not cheap by the time they add up the costs of an IV, drugs and the vet's service. Close to $200. And then there is what to do afterwards. Cremation is another $200. The lady told me I could take the body home but she was required to tell me that burying her in our back yard was against city health regulations, but she said she understood if that was our wish. I guess I could shop around, might be some cheaper service to do it. I think I would bury her and have the grand kids come over to say goodbye since they have known her all their lives.

This is the hard thing about pets... they are like family. Vesta house trained pretty quickly and from then on she always slept on a dog bed in our room. When I took kids camping she slept in my tent. She liked to jump in the car and go places. She would get all excited every morning when I put on my shoes because that meant we might go somewhere.

One online pet website said you should make a list of the things your dog liked to do the most like go for a walk, chase a ball, eat food or treats, etc. They listed 7 I think and they said if your dog no longer enjoyed 4 or more perhaps it's time. I think about all Vesta still gets excited about is dinner time! I feel myself wishing she would just pass quietly while she sleeps. And I feel bad when we travel and while my son stays at our home he is gone most of the day so she is home alone a lot. I just don't think her quality of life is very good.

Still the decision is very hard.

I put this under Health even though it's sort of about my dog's health. Then again it's my mental health as well I guess.

[classicman]

So sorry Chris ... I'm in a similar boat with two cats. They are @ 16 and one has 3 legs. She can get around much. She seems to sleep all the time. Occasionally if I "bug her" enough she'll play for a few minutes ... The other has hip issues. I assume its arthritis. She can barely make it up the stairs anymore. Like your dog, all she gets excited about is eating. I too quietly hope that the decision is made for me and I don't have to do it.

I must say though, there is something different about dogs. I love the cats, don't get me wrong, but the relationship with a dog is just closer somehow.

[DanaC]

It's a difficult decision. With my lad, I think I maybe left it a little too long to make it. He was on so many pain meds by the end - and his life was shrinking. But he'd have a really bad few weeks and then rally and I kinda thought he might do so again.

On the one hand you don't want them to suffer - on the other hand you don't want to rob them (or yourself, but that's less important) of any remaining good days.

You can only really go with what your gut and your vet tell you.

*hug*

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by classicman

...but the relationship with a dog is just closer somehow.

It's cuz dogs give a fuck.

If you polled all the cats that have ever lived, on Earth, and off, not a single fuck has been given.

I dread, dread the day I have to make that decision regarding Slick, ~19yrs.

[Pamela]

Hardest decision, ever! But you have to do right by your faithful friend. You signed on for this, too. Not just the fun parts.

If you decide on the Big Sleep, be there for him. He is counting on you to make it all better and when you leave him alone in that scary place, the journey will be that much harder.

My vet charges $50 for a welcome death and $250 for one that isn't. Those jerks who kill a pet because they don't want to pay a $500 bill or just got tired of the animal pay a lot more because there is a jerk tax.

[BigV]

Sorry Chris.

Pamela's right, you signed on for the whole package, even the end. Clearly you know that.

I've had to do this a few times, it's hard every time. And every time I've erred on the side of waiting too long. I say this with the benefit of hindsight. Not because I didn't want the bother, but I think I over emphasized the hope and the pleasure of their company and the pain of the loss compared to the quality of the life they were experiencing. I ... just don't think I'll wait as long next time. They don't seem to have any fear of death, certainly not like I fear death. But their enjoyment of life is plain, when it's there. I just hope I can be as sensitive to their suffering when that's there too.

You have an awful decision ahead of you. I can't make it for you, duh. But I stand by you as a member of another pack.

***

on a slightly different note, I think you're being robbed in the crematory department. I got a high price like that, but it was for a private cremation, with the specific cremains returned to me. I did not want that, a communal cremation with no ashes returned was only $50. Maybe there are a couple different choices for you... And yes, some are buried in the back yard.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by DanaC

snip--

On the one hand you don't want them to suffer - on the other hand you don't want to rob them (or yourself, but that's less important) of any remaining good days.

You can only really go with what your gut and your vet tell you.

*hug*

Well put.

[monster]

I would shop around. Especially for the cremation/burial options. I'm afraid I don't get the whole grave to visit thing and certainly don't believe in any form of afterlife, so I may not be the best person to ask, but I prefer to remember people and pets as they were when they were happy and full of life. I understand you are familiar with your vet and Vesta will be less apprehensive going in, so you might feel going to them is a better option that's worth a little extra, but on the other hand if/when you get a new companion, do you want to take them to a place with memories of Vesta's last moments if there is an alternative? I hope for the quiet passing, and soon, it sounds like it's time and the worry won't help either of you

[Aliantha]

Not much more to add to any of the comments here but my own wishes for the best for all of you Chris. Sorry you are facing this. It is horrible, but you will always have those wonderful memories. xxx

[glatt]

In hindsight, I think we waited too long for our cat. She was having trouble getting around and was losing weight, not making it to the litter box, etc. So we scheduled the trip to the vet for the next day, and she just died on her own that night. I think she went through more pain than we should have let her go through. In hindsight, we should have put her down a couple weeks sooner. But at least it saved us some expense. We buried her in the back yard.

Screw the city ordinance. Just be sure to dig the hole deep enough.

[chrisinhouston]

Thanks for the comments folks. It's never easy but I knew the day was coming for a year or so as she has been slowing down. I just feel she isn't happy or comfortable.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by chrisinhouston

This is the hard thing about pets... they are like family.

No matter how long they're around, it's never long enough.

[Sundae]

When the time comes to put down your pet BE THERE.
Or be broken.

[Jaydaan]

When Freya passed on 2 and a bit years ago- She got ill fast, and we had called the vet to come here for Monday afternoon. Sunday morning, she told me it was time. We took her to the emergency vet clinic and paid to have it done.. she [passed on before the injection (after the sedative) It cost us over $350 for vet visit on a Sunday- full euthanasia- even when they did not use it, and communal cremation. In our case we believe she is not in her body once she passes, so having her body or ashes back was not important. In hindsight I would have gotten her paw print though. Daddy was with her, and I was supposed to be once I had paid and come back into the room with the vet... Freya decided I should not be there, and left before I got back in the room.

Animals can tell you- if you can listen to the signs. Your baby hopefully will be able to tell you when it is time. My advice though- is to really go through your options- if you choose not to get her ashes, for example.. will it haunt you later? Are you keeping her here because you hurt to see her go, or are you sure she is not quite ready? **** that one is the hardest one EVER!!!! When it is time, remember her, honour her, and hopefully when and if your heart is ready get another to love as much ( but differently). My heart goes out to you and your family- it is very very hard to lose a fur baby. You are a wise and caring person- you will do what is best for your baby

[orthodoc]

I am still conflicted after having our beautiful chocolate Lab girl, Molly Malone, put down three years ago after sudden onset of further stroke and pain at the age of 12. In retrospect I wish I'd pressed the vets for strong pain meds that I could have given her at home, and if they had taken her off or just relieved her pain, either would have been fine.

I wish she had died at home, not in a clinic. Even though we were there it was terribly cold and fast, not a moment to hold her or say anything, just a syringe into her foreleg and, 'She's gone.' As if the crucial thing were for it to be done with asap. In another case, when one of our feline family takes that journey, I'll make sure it goes differently.