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Old 09-16-2008, 05:21 AM   #1
TheMercenary
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
The customer is NOT always right

These are so funny.

here is an example:

Welcome To Retail, Part 2
Grocery Store | South Carolina, USA
(It’s my first day on the job. I just finished scanning all of a customer’s groceries and given her the total when she holds up a roll of paper towels. She hadn’t put them on the conveyor belt.)

Customer: “Why didn’t you ring this up?”

Me: “Oh. You didn’t put it down on the conveyour belt. I’ll add it to your–”

Customer: “Why is it my fault? You should have rung it up the first time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you didn’t–”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager. ”

(I call my manager over.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, she didn’t ring this up.” *holds up paper towels*

Manager: “Ma’am, did you put it on the conveyour belt?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Then how could she ring it up?”

Customer: “By sliding it across the beepy thingy, duh!”

Manager: “How could she if you hadn’t put it down?”

Customer: “… I don’t know. She just should have!”

Manager: “Well, then why don’t I take that and we’ll ring that up for you right away.”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Why not, ma’am?”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay for them.”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I can return them to the aisle for you.”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “What?”

Customer: “I still want them, I just don’t wanna pay. Why do you think I didn’t put them down on the move-belt thing? You gotta give them to me for free now, because I had to call you over.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “I’m taking them.”

Manager: “That’s theft, ma’am.”

Customer: “Fine!” *slams paper towels on conveyor belt*

(She eventually pays, but not before flipping us the bird. How nice for my first day.)


http://notalwaysright.com/
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Old 09-16-2008, 05:31 AM   #2
TheMercenary
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
Bureacracy’s Hidden Benefits
Welfare Office | Minnesota, USA
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Client: “I’d like to know why I haven’t received my benefits.”

Me: “Let’s just pull up your case. Can I have your case number?”

(The client gives me their case number and I pull up the case.)

Me: “Well, it looks like you didn’t return your application. Without an application, we can’t approve welfare benefits.”

Client: “Can’t we do it over the phone?”

Me: “No, you need to come in and do an in-person interview so we can get an ID and a signature.”

Client: “So, we can’t do it over the phone?”

Me: “No, we need a face-to-face interview.”

Client: “That’s just too much work. I’ll just go get a job!” *click*


Not Quite An Open And Shut Case
Video Store | Kittery, ME, USA
(This caller was a real-life version of the one in How To Open a Book.)

Caller: “Hi, I bought a DVD here earlier today, but I can’t get it out of the case. ”

Me: “Alright, is it a new or pre-owned DVD?”

(Our pre-owned DVDs are all locked with a piece of red plastic that has to be removed before they leave the store.)

Caller: “I don’t know. It was like $7.”

Me: “Well, we have both pre-owned and new movies at that price. Is the case wrapped in plastic?”

Caller: “Well, there’s plastic on it.”

Me: “Alright, so you’ll need to take the plastic off of the case.”

Caller: “That won’t break it?”

Me: “If the case is wrapped in transparent plastic, you are going to need to remove all of that plastic first.”

Caller: “How? I don’t want to break it.”

Me: “Okay. You’ll need to remove the plastic wrap. If you have problems, get a pair of scissors or a knife and use that to cut open the plastic, and then take it off the case.”

Caller: “Okay, but it still won’t open.”

Me: “Are there any stickers covering the sides of the case?”

Caller: “Yes. There’s one on the top. ”

Me: “You’ll need to pull that off.”

Caller: “The case still won’t open, though. I don’t want to break it.”

Me: “Are there any other stickers on the case?”

Caller: “No. Well, there’s one of the left side that looks like the one on the top.”

Me: “Right. You’ll have to remove that. And any other stickers that look like it.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. But it’s still not opening.”

Me: “Any other stickers or plastic wrap?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “Okay… tell me, what does the case look like?”

Caller: “Well, there’s the side of the case that says the name of the movie and then there’s a black side that looks like the top and bottom.”

Me: “And what side are you trying to open? The black side?”

Caller: “No! The side with the title! Why isn’t it opening?”

Me: “Okay. I want you to put the case down on a table or something. Okay? Now. Put the case face up, like a book, with the front of the case facing you. Okay? Now. Go to the RIGHT side of the case, with the two black pieces of plastic–”

Caller: “Not the left side?”

Me: “No. NOT the left side. The RIGHT side.”

Caller: “So not the side with the title?”

Me: “No. The RIGHT side. Now. Pull the RIGHT side open.”

Caller: “It isn’t working!”

Me: “Are you opening the RIGHT side?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Try the RIGHT side.”

Caller: “…Oh. Thanks. They shouldn’t make these so hard to open you know!” *click*
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:10 AM   #3
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Yes, funny... but sort of scary when you realize these people drive, vote, and procreate.
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:23 AM   #4
dar512
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Yes, funny... but sort of scary when you realize these people drive, vote, and procreate.
Ahem.
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:36 AM   #5
Flint
Snowflake
 
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Location: Dystopia
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Bruce, the past has come back to haunt you!
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There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:12 AM   #6
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Nay nay, there are people with above average IQs that are just as weird and inept as these examples. Any IT manager can testify to that.
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:51 PM   #7
TheMercenary
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
Yea, I'm worried.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:17 PM   #8
Cloud
...
 
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Quote:
Customer: “By sliding it across the beepy thingy, duh!”
LOL! I love the English language sometimes!
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