meeting new people

[Sundae]

When everyone goes home tonight I'm going to log onto the BBC Learn Chinese website. See what I'm letting myself in for!

[Elspode]

SG, do me a big favor? The first night of class, ask the teacher what the Mandarin phrase is for Mandarin Orange?

Originally Posted by Elspode

The level of honest concentration on and involvement in the small talk is directly proportionate to one's desire to get laid. The higher your hormone level, the more engaged you are...

"...and then, I brought in the trash can, like, and my dog was all like, woof - he's so cute! - so I put down the trash can and got him a doggie biscuit..."

"Fascinating. Yes, dogs can be very intelligent. I'll bet he was practically telepathing you that he wanted a biscuit. We call them cookies at our house. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have great tits?"

Again... refuse to participate in small-talk, get your bad-boy on! Gets you laid, it is the short-cut.
As far as why I have no issue with meeting new people, we are all connected and 99.999% the same. The, pathetically, few differences that people like to focus on to separate us are, mostly, meaningless. The few people that I don't like are those who use those minute differences to do harm, all are for petty reasons. I can still converse with them in polite company. Emotions can be controlled, some choose not to.

[Sundae]

I have taken another step in getting out & meeting new people - I have signed up for a one day course in Writing a Funny Story. I'm hoping that anyone I meet there will be reasonably articulate with a good sense of humour!

At the very least I'll get some writing tips out of it. Make sure you wear your rubber knickers after February 10th.

[limey]

Great idea, SG. Looking forward to the gags ...

[Sundae]

No, no, no, no
That's Introduction to Bondage on February 9th....

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

No, no, no, no
That's Introduction to Bondage on February 9th....

She's starting already!

All the best, SG. As you well know, I think your writing rocks!

Originally Posted by bbro

So how exactly does one go about meeting new people? I have no idea where to start or even where to go with this being a fairly new city, but I would like to meet new people, friends and otherwise.

Any ideas?

Honestly, if I see someone who looks interesting I walk/roll up to them and say "Howdy I'm Robert, what cha' doin'?" Then I say whatever pops into my head. Sometimes people think I'm nuts, mostly they talk to me... rarely, but sometimes I find someone who I want to stay in touch with. It is pretty simple.

[Madman]

The grocery store is a good place to meet people. Spend some time handling the cucumbers, checking out the bananas, eggplants and squash. Maybe hold a couple of limes while squeezing the cucumber.

Hmmm... Just an idea.

May I ask, for those who are weird about meeting new people... what is your thought process? What do you think is going to happen, or what do you think they will do that you are apprehensive about?
I am just curious, I am not judgmental about this at all.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by Madman

The grocery store is a good place to meet people. Spend some time handling the cucumbers, checking out the bananas, eggplants and squash. Maybe hold a couple of limes while squeezing the cucumber.

One of our local supermarkets had a singles night.

[limey]

Originally Posted by wolf

One of our local supermarkets had a singles night.

Yes? and? Was it a success? Will they have another one? You can't just leave that there ....

[wolf]

Yes, it worked. I don't think it's done any longer. at least they don't have a specific event listing for it on their website. But they are sure to let you know that Senior Discount day is Tuesdays.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

May I ask, for those who are weird about meeting new people... what is your thought process? What do you think is going to happen, or what do you think they will do that you are apprehensive about?
I am just curious, I am not judgmental about this at all.

(This ended up being a long reply. I hope I don’t sound defensive, I’m just trying to be precise. Skip to the end for the precis)

I don't think I'm weird about meeting new people. It’s simply that I do not get to meet new people in a setting where I can judge whether I want to get to know them better.

I don't fake interest very well and I get tired of people who talk just to make a noise. If I just walked up to people in the street and introduced myself, I would probably find they didn't interest me enough to pursue a friendship. For example going to the hairdressers is quite distressing for me. Pinned in a chair for a couple of hours being talked at by someone who says things like, "Oh I loved reading when I was little, but all the books they make you read in school put me off...."

It works the other way too, in case you think I'm giving myself airs. When I was working nights at a supermarket I so often heard, "Don't you have some funny ideas?" (funny peculiar) even though I got on superficially with all my colleagues. I also hear, "You think too much" or simply, sadly, "You're very odd aren't you?" My friends don't think this, but strangers often do.

So I get up, work, go home, sleep. Repeat x 365
Well, okay - there's a bit more to it, but not much.
I do have friends, but they live in other cities.
I get on well with the people I work with in both my jobs, and we go out occasionally, but not enough that I would term them friends. I made two really good friends since moving here - one I have fallen out with (my fault I suspect) and the other emigrated - sob!

Therefore I have to look for opportunities to meet people and I have to be willing to go on my own. Those of you with groups of friends, partners, families, children probably don't remember what is was not knowing anyone outside your workplace. I'm stand-offish, but I'm not shy - it's the opportunities I need, not the confidence.

I have tried in the past. I went on a series of “sort of” dates when I lived in London. It was via a website that was more about meeting and socialising than dating (I seem to remember there was a free cinema pass involved as well). Out of all the people I met from there I only saw two of them more than once, and even then I had a rather grim “this is for my own good” approach to going out with them. They seemed to enjoy my company but in the end I decided I couldn’t be bothered when we had so little in common.

The above makes me sound very cold & calculating, trust me – when I like someone I am perfectly normal and enjoy their company immensely. I’m also a good friend! One of my non-Leicester friends has been part of my life for 22 years now (ouch, I’m old) and another for 20. The friend who ran away to Africa will probably still be my friend in 20 years time too.

So there you go. The bottom line is I’m very picky and have no-one to make introductions for me.

[yesman065]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I get on well with the people I work with in both my jobs, and we go out occasionally, but not enough that I would term them friends.
So there you go. The bottom line is I’m very picky and have no-one to make introductions for me.

You don't want the work people to introduce you to others? You don't have enough in common with them? Well I'd be glad to introduce you to some people around here (Philly) but that wouldn't do you any good, would it? Sorry