The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Parenting

Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-08-2006, 01:17 PM   #1
Marching In!
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 580
Don't Mess With Mom

> My son came home from school one day,
> with a smirk upon his face.
> He decided he was smart enough,
> to put me in my place.
> "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
> that's taught by Mr. Wright?
> It's all about the laws today,
> The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
> It says I need not clean my room,
> don't have to cut my hair
> No one can tell me what to think,
> or speak, or what to wear.
> I have freedom from religion,
> and regardless what you say,
> I don't have to bow my head,
> and I sure don't have to pray.
> I can wear earrings if I want,
> and pierce my tongue & nose.
> I can read & watch just what I like,
> get tattoos from head to toe.
> And if you ever spank me,
> I'll charge you with a crime.
> I'll back up all my charges,
> with the marks on my behind.
> Don't you ever touch me,
> my body's only for my use,
> not for your hugs
> and kisses,
> that's just more child abuse.
> Don't preach about your morals,
> like your Mama did to you.
> That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
> Mom, I have these children's rights,
> so you can't influence me,
> or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D."
> Mom's Reply and Thoughts
> Of course my first instinct was
> to toss him out the door.
> But the chance to teach him a lesson
> made me think a little more.
> I mulled it over carefully,
> I couldn't let this go.
> A smile crept upon my face,
> he's messing with a pro.
> Next day I took him shopping
> at the local Goodwill Store..
> I told him, "Pick out all you want,
> there's shirts & pants galore.
> I've called and checked with C.S.D.
> who said they didn't care
> if I bought you K-Mart shoes
> instead of those Nike Airs.
> I've canceled that appointment
> to take your driver's test.
> The C.S.D.
> is unconcerned
> so I'll decide what's best."
> I said "No time to stop and eat,
> or pick up stuff to munch.
> And tomorrow you can start to learn
> to make your own sack lunch.
> Just save the raging appetite,
> and wait till dinner time.
> We're having liver and onions,
> a favorite dish of mine."
> He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
> to watch on my VCR?"
> "Sorry, but I sold your TV,
> for new tires on my car.
> I also rented out your room,
> you'll take the couch instead.
> The C.S.D. requires
> just a roof over your head.
> Your clothing won't be trendy now,
> I'll choose what we eat.
> That allowance that you used to get,
> will buy me something neat.
> I'm selling off your jet ski,
> dirt-bike & roller blades.
> Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today!
> Hey hot shot, are you crying,
> Why are you on your knees?
> Are you asking God to help you out,
> instead of
> C.S.D..?"
"Smile before bed.You'll sleep better."
KinkyVixen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2019, 07:00 PM   #2
An Awesome Dude
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
Hehe I wonder what the kids reaction was to the mother??

I bet he changed his tune straight away!!
Dude111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2019, 05:52 PM   #3
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
You're pretty weird, Dude.
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2019, 06:07 PM   #4
I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Better to be pretty weird than ugly weird.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2019, 01:19 PM   #5
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: DC
Posts: 13,575
The kid had their own TV, VCR and freakin Jet Ski?
|...............| We live in the nick of times.
| Len 17, Wid 3 |
|_______________| [pics]
Happy Monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2019, 04:21 PM   #6
An Awesome Dude
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
Yea he must have been 16 or 17 in the story...... (I doubt he would have a jetski at a younger age although maybe)
Dude111 is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:55 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.