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Old 03-23-2012, 07:07 PM   #1
wolf
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So, Like, I got Hired ...

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897

yeah. really.

I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot.

Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them.

So my phone was shushed and in my pocket.

Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away.

OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ...

I'll cut the suspense here.

I'm hired.

Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class.

Well, I hope it will.

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:09 PM   #2
jimhelm
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WORD.


congrats, babe!
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:10 PM   #3
wolf
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Thank you, my dear!

Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching!
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM   #4
Aliantha
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Good stuff wolf.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM   #5
BigV
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OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM   #6
infinite monkey
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That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you!
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:35 PM   #7
Undertoad
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf View Post
http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897
Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.
OK that was a bad idea! You just gave them a sample of water.

At better labs, dilution requires a re-test. At worse labs, I don't know if they find it.

I knew a guy who swears he was marked as having failed due to dilution, but I don't believe him. But this may be important: remember, if they try to fail you due to dilution, jump up and down and threaten legal activity at the top of your voice. That will be your only recourse.

Quote:
There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.
Accurately answering test-takers is not her job. It can definitely be an issue. Snopes agrees.

So: at the end of the day, you may be lucky enough to have actually diluted yourself out of a false positive.

Quote:
Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me)
Trust you, no! If you want to know how to pass a drug screen, ask someone who does drugs!

Because there are a few ways to guarantee passing a drug screen.

But not doing drugs is not one of them.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:48 PM   #8
HungLikeJesus
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Playtime's over! Back to work!
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:49 PM   #9
wolf
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Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine.

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:52 PM   #10
monster
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hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:54 PM   #11
limey
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OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X


Sent by thought transference
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:57 PM   #12
ZenGum
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VERY happy about this.

I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon.
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Old 03-23-2012, 08:03 PM   #13
Undertoad
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Quote:
I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.
so certain are you. always with you it cannot be done.
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Old 03-23-2012, 08:04 PM   #14
Griff
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Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-23-2012, 10:11 PM   #15
Clodfobble
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Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories.
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