The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Creative Expression

Creative Expression Post your own works and chat about them

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-19-2012, 10:25 AM   #1
JBKlyde
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Encrypted Into an AmpitheaterWall
Posts: 1,722
Empty Tomb

It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,
Down with the gloom,
Down with the doom,
I ain't got no room for fear,
Turn from evil,
And start drawing near,
Near to God,
Near to Love,
Set your sights,
On things above,
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,

y-f-t-p
JBKlyde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2012, 10:33 AM   #2
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
n-y-f-t-p


:p
__________________
Quote:
There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae
http://sites.google.com/site/danispoetry/
DanaC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2012, 08:18 PM   #3
JBKlyde
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Encrypted Into an AmpitheaterWall
Posts: 1,722
radio edit

It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,
To hell with the gloom,
To hell with the doom,
I ain't got no room for fear,
Turn from evil,
And start drawing near,
Near to God,
Near to Love,
Set your sights,
On things above,
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,
JBKlyde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2012, 09:02 PM   #4
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
IMHO, the OP version was better. The opposite actions complement each other:
...
Jesus has risen,
...
Down with the gloom,
Down with the doom,
...
Jesus has risen,
...

Your changes would better compliment the other lines if you changed action to place elsewhere too:
...
Jesus ascends to heaven,
...
To hell with the gloom,
To hell with the doom,
...
Jesus ascends to heaven,
...

Even then I'd still prefer the OP version.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 10:02 AM   #5
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBKlyde View Post
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,
Down with the gloom,
Down with the doom,
I ain't got no room for fear,
Turn from evil,
And start drawing near,
Near to God,
Near to Love,
Set your sights,
On things above,
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,

y-f-t-p
Jesus, Jesus bo Besus Bonana fanna fo Fesus
Fee fy mo Mesus, Jesus!
__________________
"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
Spexxvet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 10:12 AM   #6
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Its only a paper tomb
Sailing over cardboard Galilee
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in Je (sus)
Yes, it's only a Jewish sky
Hanging over a Muslim tree
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in Je (sus)
Without your faith
It's a honky-tonk parade
Without your faith
It's a melody played in a penny arcade
It's a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in Je (sus)
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 10:47 AM   #7
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Ouch. That was pretty awesome!
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 11:10 AM   #8
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
Wow. That totally rocked.
__________________
Quote:
There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae
http://sites.google.com/site/danispoetry/
DanaC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 07:19 PM   #9
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
A really gee-whiz adaptation.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2012, 07:29 PM   #10
JBKlyde
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Encrypted Into an AmpitheaterWall
Posts: 1,722
yes that was nice undertoad...
JBKlyde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-23-2012, 09:18 AM   #11
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
It's a clone-thread, a parody, and an original work, all in one!

It’s an empty comb
My hair has a schism
It’s an empty comb
Come share your wigdom
Get out the broom
Sweep up the room
I ain’t got no hair up here
Ate by boll weevils
Just as I feared
Near to bald
But I’m proud of
The smooth leather-like glove
Left by my empty comb
My hair has a schism
It’s an empty comb
Come share your wigdom
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2012, 04:34 PM   #12
Ibby
erika
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: "the high up north"
Posts: 6,127
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your
wisdom,
Down with the gloom,
Down with the doom,

I ain't got no room for fear,
Turn from evil,
And start drawing near,
Near to God,
Near
to Love
Set your sights,
On things above,
It's an empty tomb,
Jesus has risen,
It's an empty tomb,
Come share your wisdom,
__________________
not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh
Ibby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2012, 10:21 PM   #13
TheMercenary
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
The Empty Uterus
bares no fruit
Jesus needed no uterus
He needs not your love
You need his
__________________
Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!
TheMercenary is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:27 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.