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Old 09-12-2018, 12:25 AM   #991
xoxoxoBruce
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This one is sectional...
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Old 09-26-2018, 10:07 PM   #992
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Make your own mosquito breeding facility...
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Old 09-28-2018, 09:25 PM   #993
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Make your own mosquito breeding facility...
Thats why you have fish in it to eat the larvae. The coons love fresh fish when they come by in the night.
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Old 10-01-2018, 12:08 AM   #994
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If you find a crashed flying saucer move right in...
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Old 10-11-2018, 10:15 PM   #995
xoxoxoBruce
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Before you tackle the creation of your dreams you must know about tools...

Tools explained.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans.. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
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Old 10-12-2018, 06:28 PM   #996
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Haggis!


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Old 10-12-2018, 09:42 PM   #997
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I can testify to the truth in that post, xoB.
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Old 10-13-2018, 01:07 PM   #998
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Originally Posted by captainhook455 View Post
Thats why you have fish in it to eat the larvae. The coons love fresh fish when they come by in the night.
Regular Walt Disney circle of life thing.
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Old 10-13-2018, 04:25 PM   #999
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For when I can't find the SOB tool, I keep the GDMFCS one handy.

I started my acquaintance with tools under my future brother-in-law's '48 Dodge. He had holed the pan and offered me 20 bucks to put a new one on. Pliers and 12" crescent wrench were my arsenal.
My shop was the driveway under my mother's at-home office window.
"Jimmy! Where did you learn those words?"
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Old 10-13-2018, 04:28 PM   #1000
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Bwahahahaha.
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Old 10-14-2018, 05:04 PM   #1001
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I've made a bunk bed from bamboo and I used several techniques she demonstrates.. It's a very satisfying material to work with.
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Old 10-29-2018, 10:29 PM   #1002
xoxoxoBruce
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Why buy a lawnmower when you can knock one together from an old axle...
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Old 10-31-2018, 05:24 PM   #1003
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Genius.

Deadly af, but, genius.
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 11-01-2018, 03:20 PM   #1004
Diaphone Jim
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DYI rockslinger.
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Old 11-04-2018, 01:40 AM   #1005
xoxoxoBruce
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Winter is coming which means more indoor time. Holidays are coming which means big bucks, steal stuff, or make gifts.
Cutting boards are usually a safe bet because every home needs one.
No matter how serviceable the resident board, what Mom/Wife/Sister wouldn't willingly chuck it for a hand crafted gift from a Son/Husband/Brother.
And If you accidently build a pretty board, they can hang it on the wall as culinary artsy fartsy.
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