Spanking

[classicman]

Ohhhh - Clod! The kitchen utensils, Damn how could I forget? Thats another category. The slotted spoon, the WOODEN spoon, the salad thingies...
my ass is hurtin just thinkin about it.

Love you Mom

[Shawnee123]

But linking sexual problems with spanking is a "big leap," says human-sexuality researcher John DeLamater of the University of Wisconsin. "It's probably one of many elements that might contribute to sex problems or risky sex, but it's a long leap."

I was thinking it sounds awfully Freudian, as a theory.

[Cloud]

is it a sexual problem if you can't find anybody to spank you the way you really like it?

[DanaC]

I believe there will come a time in the future when people will read history, learn that we had a practice of beating children systematically on their bare buttocks, and they will cringe in the horror of such a bizarrely cruel and ineffective parenting approach to misbehavior.

I sort of thought that was where most of us already were? Though, reading the responses maybe I am wrong:P I don't know anybody in my day to day life who would think that anything but bizarre and outdated. I know a few who'll grab their kid by the hand and slap their arse a couple of times. But over the knee bare bottomed? Haven't known anybody approve of that for decades (for the children anyway...:P)

[Aliantha]

I used to get belted with dad's belt, his razor strop (he had a cut throat when I was little) and the jug cord when I was a kid. Maybe that's my problem. I've become a deviant sexer.

I've posted about my views on spanking here before. I'm in favour, but I've never hit my kids with anything besides my hand and usually on the back of the legs. In recent history, Aden has copped a couple of sharp ones across the cheek for unaccpetable language/backchat just to pull him up. It is very effective with him. I've hardly ever hit Maverick. It's not necessary.

[DanaC]

I think there's a difference between smacking and spanking. Smacking a child across the backs of the legs for instance, though I am not 'in favour' of it, is entirely understandable to me. Systemised 'spanking' or beating isn't. Not because of the 'violence' involved: after all, I am sure many of those parents who do use spankings, probably pull back somewhat and aren't necessarily attempting to cause massive amounts of pain. What makes it unacceptable, to my mind, is the humiliation that such a spanking involves. I see no reason, regardless of how angry the parent or how badly behaved teh child to tackle the problem by humiliating that child. I can't see how that might help.

[Aliantha]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't recall ever smacking my kids in public after the age of about two when a few taps on the backs of the hands are sometimes necessary when teaching kids 'don't touch'. I just found that by shortly after that age, my boys realised that they had to behave in public or they just didn't get to do stuff they liked. I know some people are against it, but when we went shopping for instance, my kids were always told that if they behaved themselves, they'd get a treat at the end, so rather than having to punish them, they were rewarded for good behaviour. Similarly in other social situations. If they behaved, they were rewarded and if not, they were punished. We've always had the same set up at home too, but no one's perfect. I'd rather they misbehave at home than inconvenience me and others when we're out (not that they're naughty kids by any means, but they're not perfect and I don't expect them to be).

[monster]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I think there's a difference between smacking and spanking. .

What Brits call smacking, Americans call spanking -these days, anyway.

[Shawnee123]

Smacking sounds worse over here, than spanking.

Smacking implies an angry hit, where spanking implies a couple of beats to the bottom, to get their attention.

Beyond that it's called beating, with a couple of smacks to help it along.

That's my take on the word meaning difference, anyway.

[jinx]

The difference being the pants being pulled down? Is that even legal anymore?

[monster]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Smacking sounds worse over here, than spanking.

Smacking implies an angry hit, where spanking implies a couple of beats to the bottom, to get their attention.

Beyond that it's called beating, with a couple of smacks to help it along.

That's my take on the word meaning difference, anyway.

it's generally the other way around in the UK, as dana mentioned. A bit like "crap" and "shit" -shit is ruder here, crap is ruder there.

[Shawnee123]

I was glad you pointed that out, dana and mon...it is different.

Now, if we spelled them differently. kingswood?

[monster]

maybe we should adopt the Ministry of Defence/1984 approach and call them Education and Wisdom

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by jinx

It's the duct tape of parenting. Ugly but quick and effective enough in the short term to make it popular - but the problem will still have to be addresses for real at some point.

It really doesn't get to the seat of the problem, does it. Even if the kid is being a cheeky little ass.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I sort of thought that was where most of us already were? Though, reading the responses maybe I am wrong:P I don't know anybody in my day to day life who would think that anything but bizarre and outdated. I know a few who'll grab their kid by the hand and slap their arse a couple of times. But over the knee bare bottomed? Haven't known anybody approve of that for decades (for the children anyway...:P)

It is still frighteningly common in the African-American community I work in to use a belt on a child. I've heard intellectuals connect it with control/authority taking it all the way back to slavery. Often it is Gramma doing the raising so we're going back a generation in outlook and she may not have the energy for real discipline. This violence equaling authority mind set doesn't work well for the rest of society. Does anyone want to link this to the Southern thread or the hate thread?