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Old 09-08-2015, 12:31 PM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
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The Pope is coming, the Pope is coming...

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Pope Francis is comin' to town... and it'll be a clusterfuck.

They immediately started throwing around speculation that three million will come to see him. Over two days he'll do a mass which is invitation only with 1600 tickets, visit Independence Hall, private meeting with Bishops, visit a prison, but the biggie is give a speech to the masses on the parkway.

Philly, being the city of brotherly love, said we have a plan. From Friday till Monday noon, we'll close off half the city, and part of west Philly, to vehicles coming in. If you go out, you stay out. We'll also close I-76, I-676, and the Ben Franklin Bridge, one of the two major bridges to Jersey. I-95 will be open but most of the exits closed.

In addition, all trolley and bus traffic will halt in the "Pope Zone", estimating the average visitor will be forced walk two miles. South Jersey says they'll have every cop, dick, and harry making sure nobody parks illegally. In order to come into the city by light rail, you better have your ticket by now and many of the stations will be closed.

Last week they announced the parkway where the Pope addresses the masses, will be fenced. You'll need a ticket which are being distributed to the parishes for distribution to the rich and pious. Some will go to the connected of other religions. So after you've parked where they'll tow it and charge a kings ransom to bail it, once you find out where it is and get there, you walk two miles, and won't be able to get within a half mile of the Pope.

You who have been around the Cellar forever may remember me writing about Kenny, lead guitar for a band that practiced at my house. He had won a contest by a radio station to play on stage with Creed when they came to town.
Anyway, Kenny started a sound company and has been working concerts and gatherings all over the area for years. Well Kenny won the contract to do the PA system for the Pope and feed the networks from his board. But first he had a one hour interview with the FBI. Then a one hour interview with the NSA. Then a one hour interview with the CIA. Shit's getting real.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:26 PM   #2
Gravdigr
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Meh, he's just a guy with a funny hat. And that is all he is.

The pope, not Kenny. Kenny sounds pretty cool.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:35 PM   #3
Undertoad
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J and I determined that it is really hard to pronounce the invented term "pope-apocalypse".

Go ahead and try, you can't pronounce it.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:37 PM   #4
xoxoxoBruce
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popecalypse. See, nothin' to it.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:41 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
Go ahead and try, you can't pronounce it.
This is true.
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Old 09-08-2015, 02:05 PM   #6
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Bill O'Reilly agrees:

Name:  oreilly.jpg
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Old 09-08-2015, 03:04 PM   #7
DanaC
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pope-apocalypse ...or popecalypse?

The second one is harder to pronounce. But I can pronounce both well enough I think
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Old 09-08-2015, 03:23 PM   #8
glatt
 
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Sure you can. Prove it.
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Old 09-08-2015, 04:04 PM   #9
Undertoad
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I went around to people's offices with a post-it with the word on it and asked people to quickly say it. Everyone laughed. 100% success.
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Old 09-08-2015, 04:30 PM   #10
Gravdigr
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Better suggestion:

Popestorm.
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Old 09-08-2015, 05:00 PM   #11
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Pope-apalooza.
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Old 09-08-2015, 05:36 PM   #12
lumberjim
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popetastrophy


popecalypse is for when he passes in front of the sun, partially or completely obscuring it from our sight.
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Old 09-09-2015, 05:55 AM   #13
DanaC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
J and I determined that it is really hard to pronounce the invented term "pope-apocalypse".

Go ahead and try, you can't pronounce it.

I lean more towards pope-ocalypse
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Old 09-09-2015, 06:26 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
I lean more towards pope-ocalypse
Me too.
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Old 09-09-2015, 08:43 AM   #15
Gravdigr
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I'm liking popetastrophe.
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