Do guys really care about a girls sexual history?

DucksNuts · 04-29-2006, 10:49 PM

...like how many, who, how etc??

My gfs and I were discussing this last nite and it seems guys can still be a bit weirded out by a girl who has a fairly ...err...impressive? (not the word I was looking for

) sexual history.

Is it true? Do I need to dull down my resume?

Do guys just want sex from the ones that put out, or can they still fall in love with them??

I have this problem where I always say the first thing that comes to mind, so if I get asked a question...I never think..."do I answer this truthfully or should I be a bit vague?".

From my point of view, if a guy I am attracted to is going to be bothered by my past, he probably isnt the guy for me.

04-29-2006, 10:53 PM

It depends on how that history came about... it can say a lot about someone's character.
If you are simply talking about a numbers game, then no, but it is never that.
It is always far more complicated than that, so my answer will be yes, I care.
However, it can be a good or bad thing, regardless of the numbers. The behavior is what I look at as the determinant for my reaction.

twentycentshift · 04-29-2006, 11:30 PM

i don't really care. i have a "history" too, so i expect her to have one also.

as long as she wasn't a hooker or the likes, i think an active sexual history is great.

if she's in a good place now and we connect, then what does it matter?

charlene · 04-30-2006, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twentycentshift

if she's in a good place now and we connect, then what does it matter?

Got to agree, twenty. As I see it, anything before the two got together is history and starting over from 'now' is what's important. If you stay together long enough, the facts will eventually come to light and it really shouldn't matter.

twentycentshift · 04-30-2006, 12:24 AM

right. and like i said, i have a past too, and it would be unrealistic and judgmental for me to expect any different from her.

what side of the planet are you on?

charlene · 04-30-2006, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twentycentshift

what side of the planet are you on?

Right now, I'm in Kansas, USA, but plan on being in New Zealand soon.

billybob · 04-30-2006, 08:44 AM

Really? What part of NZ?

charlene · 04-30-2006, 08:55 AM

I have some friends in different cities, but will probably end up staying in Taranaki [that's where 'HE' is

]

billybob · 04-30-2006, 09:07 AM

Darn...there's already a "he".....

I shall just have to go back to my life of celibacy...[on topic....would a LACK of history worry a lady seeking a prospective partner? At what point does a guy become unsaleable due to rust?]

As to the question originally posed.......A lady's history is fairly low on my list of essential characteristics. I'd have to know her fairly well before enquiring into her previous lives, and even then,I'd only ask discreetly, and would not persue the point if she doesn't give me a 'blow by blow' account[sorry, couldn't resist].Unless she talks of simoultaneous or overlapping relationships, or exes who gave her herpes, the subject is of little relevance. I've decided already that I like her for who she is, not who she's been.

lookout123 · 04-30-2006, 11:25 AM

i've always approached it as "you've been with at least one person, but fewer than a million? cool - me too." i don't want to know anything else. i sure as hell, won't be talking about my past.

Trilby · 04-30-2006, 12:07 PM

I like the way you think, Lookout

Why should the sexual history of someone who LOVES sex be compared (unfavorably) with someone who maybe doesn't?

elSicomoro · 04-30-2006, 12:43 PM

I think some guys play a double standard--it's cool for us to have fucked 20 or 30 women, but if a woman has had sex with 3 or more people, ewww!

I've been that way at times. Now, it would depend on the circumstances.

Lookout, I would hope that at the very least that if you don't talk about your past, you would at least get checked for STDs.

smoothmoniker · 04-30-2006, 01:24 PM

I think it speaks to how a person views their sexuality as part of their whole person.

Is it something that they can separate out and use for recreation with multiple partners, and little or no emotional entanglement? If so, then I would have little in common with that person, and it would raise red flags for me in the relationship.

Have they been in multiple relationships that that reached a stage of mutual commitment and trust where sexual intimacy was an integral and healthy part of the relationship? If so, what happened? do they habitiually choose bad partners and then break it off? Or is there something in them that becomes progressively revealed as they get deeper connected in a relationship that is a deal-breaker? I know these aren't the only options, but these are the questions that would come to mind if I found out that my relationship partner had been with dozens of sexual partners.

I honestly don't know that there's a healthy answer for why someone in their late 20s or so would have dozens of sexual partners. It would suggest to me that they either view sexual intimacy as a recreational activity, or that they make emotionally immature decisions about commitment to people.

flame on.

lookout123 · 04-30-2006, 01:43 PM

syc - past sex isn't a taboo subject for me, but I refuse to talk about the number of people we've been with. A) I'm not proud of my past, B) I don't really want to know who my potential lover has been with.

what i want to know is A) are you clean? B) how do you know? C) is it ok if I bring my swing or would you prefer the Sybian?

Trilby · 04-30-2006, 02:04 PM

Ya know what? Just lie about it.

04-29-2006, 10:49 PM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Do guys really care about a girls sexual history? ...like how many, who, how etc?? My gfs and I were discussing this last nite and it seems guys can still be a bit weirded out by a girl who has a fairly ...err...impressive? (not the word I was looking for ) sexual history. Is it true? Do I need to dull down my resume? Do guys just want sex from the ones that put out, or can they still fall in love with them?? I have this problem where I always say the first thing that comes to mind, so if I get asked a question...I never think..."do I answer this truthfully or should I be a bit vague?". From my point of view, if a guy I am attracted to is going to be bothered by my past, he probably isnt the guy for me.

04-30-2006, 12:07 PM	#11
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I like the way you think, Lookout Why should the sexual history of someone who LOVES sex be compared (unfavorably) with someone who maybe doesn't? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

04-30-2006, 01:24 PM	#13
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	I think it speaks to how a person views their sexuality as part of their whole person. Is it something that they can separate out and use for recreation with multiple partners, and little or no emotional entanglement? If so, then I would have little in common with that person, and it would raise red flags for me in the relationship. Have they been in multiple relationships that that reached a stage of mutual commitment and trust where sexual intimacy was an integral and healthy part of the relationship? If so, what happened? do they habitiually choose bad partners and then break it off? Or is there something in them that becomes progressively revealed as they get deeper connected in a relationship that is a deal-breaker? I know these aren't the only options, but these are the questions that would come to mind if I found out that my relationship partner had been with dozens of sexual partners. I honestly don't know that there's a healthy answer for why someone in their late 20s or so would have dozens of sexual partners. It would suggest to me that they either view sexual intimacy as a recreational activity, or that they make emotionally immature decisions about commitment to people. flame on. __________________ to live and die in LA

04-30-2006, 02:04 PM	#15
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Ya know what? Just lie about it. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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04-29-2006, 10:53 PM	#2
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	It depends on how that history came about... it can say a lot about someone's character. If you are simply talking about a numbers game, then no, but it is never that. It is always far more complicated than that, so my answer will be yes, I care. However, it can be a good or bad thing, regardless of the numbers. The behavior is what I look at as the determinant for my reaction.

04-29-2006, 11:30 PM	#3
twentycentshift change three times Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: texas Posts: 214	i don't really care. i have a "history" too, so i expect her to have one also. as long as she wasn't a hooker or the likes, i think an active sexual history is great. if she's in a good place now and we connect, then what does it matter?

04-30-2006, 12:24 AM	#5
twentycentshift change three times Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: texas Posts: 214	right. and like i said, i have a past too, and it would be unrealistic and judgmental for me to expect any different from her. what side of the planet are you on?

04-30-2006, 08:44 AM	#7
billybob pseudointellectual antipodean omnivore Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 91	Really? What part of NZ?

04-30-2006, 08:55 AM	#8
charlene Future world traveller Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: wrong side of the planet Posts: 24	I have some friends in different cities, but will probably end up staying in Taranaki [that's where 'HE' is ]

04-30-2006, 09:07 AM	#9
billybob pseudointellectual antipodean omnivore Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 91	Darn...there's already a "he"..... I shall just have to go back to my life of celibacy...[on topic....would a LACK of history worry a lady seeking a prospective partner? At what point does a guy become unsaleable due to rust?] As to the question originally posed.......A lady's history is fairly low on my list of essential characteristics. I'd have to know her fairly well before enquiring into her previous lives, and even then,I'd only ask discreetly, and would not persue the point if she doesn't give me a 'blow by blow' account[sorry, couldn't resist].Unless she talks of simoultaneous or overlapping relationships, or exes who gave her herpes, the subject is of little relevance. I've decided already that I like her for who she is, not who she's been.

04-30-2006, 11:25 AM	#10
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	i've always approached it as "you've been with at least one person, but fewer than a million? cool - me too." i don't want to know anything else. i sure as hell, won't be talking about my past.

04-30-2006, 12:43 PM	#12
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I think some guys play a double standard--it's cool for us to have fucked 20 or 30 women, but if a woman has had sex with 3 or more people, ewww! I've been that way at times. Now, it would depend on the circumstances. Lookout, I would hope that at the very least that if you don't talk about your past, you would at least get checked for STDs.

04-30-2006, 01:43 PM	#14
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	syc - past sex isn't a taboo subject for me, but I refuse to talk about the number of people we've been with. A) I'm not proud of my past, B) I don't really want to know who my potential lover has been with. what i want to know is A) are you clean? B) how do you know? C) is it ok if I bring my swing or would you prefer the Sybian?

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