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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 03-01-2010, 11:19 AM   #16
Clodfobble
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad
As I was walking down the street one dark and gloomy day
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay
...
That's a (slight bastardization of a) real song, by Homer & Jethro. Got radio play in the 50s and everything.
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:30 AM   #17
jinx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete Zicato View Post
I see stars, I see Mars,
I see someone's underdrawers.
I see London, I see France, I see Pete's underpants.
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:41 AM   #18
Juniper
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Three cheers for the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver
Three cheers for the bus driver, bus driver's here.
He drinks and he smokes and he tells dirty jokes
Three cheers for the bus driver, bus driver's here.
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:43 AM   #19
Juniper
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mama mama can't you see?
what the baby's done to me?
took away my MTV
now i'm watching dumb barney
Tic Tac Toe three in a row
barney got shot by GI Joe
mama called the doctor and the doctor said
oops barneys dead shot in the head
(don't stop slappin' 'till your hands get red)
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:45 AM   #20
Juniper
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Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to heaven and the steamboat went to
Hello operator, get me number nine
And if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your
Behind the 'frigerator there was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it and broke her little
Ask me no more questions and tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom zipping up their
Flies are in the meadow, the bees are in the park
The boys and girls are kissing in the D-A-R-K dark!

(yeesh, that's an OLD one.)
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:53 AM   #21
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me Chinee, me play joke, me put pee pee in your coke!
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Old 03-01-2010, 12:49 PM   #22
Pie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamIam View Post
Great big globs of greasey slimy gopher guts,
Dirty little babies feet,
Mutilated monkey meat
And me without my spoon
But I had a straw
(sluuuuurrrp!)
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
chopped up baby parakeet
All these things are very very good to eat
'cept I forgot my spoon.
They gave me chopsticks
And indigestion...
excuse me... <barfing noises>
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 03-01-2010, 12:57 PM   #23
Pie
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Eenie-meenie essa-meenie
ooh-ah ah-bellini
essa-meenie sala-meenie
ooh alla-ah -- tutti frutti
Down down baby
Down by the rollercoaster
Sweet sweet baby
I'll never let you go
Shamrock, shamrock, shammy shammy shamrock
Caught you with your boyfriend, naughty naughty
Won't do the dishes, lazy lazy
Stole a piece of candy, greedy greedy
Jumped out the window, crazy crazy
Eenie-meenie essa-meenie
ooh-ah ah-bellini
essa-meenie sala-meenie
ooh alla-ah -- tutti frutti
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

Last edited by Pie; 03-01-2010 at 01:02 PM.
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Old 03-01-2010, 01:08 PM   #24
Pie
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And a classic:

Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac
All dressed in black, black, black.
With silver buttons, buttons, buttons
All down her back, back, back.
She asked her mother, mother, mother
For 50 cents, cents, cents.
To see the elephants, elephants, elephants
Jump over the fence, fence, fence.
They jumped so high, high, high
They touched the sky, sky, sky
They never came back, back, back
Till the 4th of July, July, July
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 03-01-2010, 03:03 PM   #25
classicman
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Whistle while you work,
Hitler is a jerk,
Mousolini pulled his weenie,
now it doesn't work.
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:17 PM   #26
Nirvana
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Deck the hall with balls from Collies
fa la la la la la la la la

[of course it was about dogs ]
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Old 03-03-2010, 08:52 AM   #27
squirell nutkin
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The Lawnmower Song:

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overlooked before.
One leg is missing
The second is torn
The third leg is scattered all over the lawn
There's no need explaining
The one leg remaining
Is out on the carport floor
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I over looked before!
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:32 PM   #28
Gravdigr
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One bright morning, in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
Pulled out their knives and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise,
He came and arrested the two dead boys.
Now, if you don't believe this tale, so tall,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it all.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:39 PM   #29
Gravdigr
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Tarbender, my wife says I've had tee many martoonis. But, I'm not as much under the alfluence of incahol as some thinkle peep I am.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:59 PM   #30
Nirvana
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirell nutkin View Post
The Lawnmower Song:

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overlooked before.
One leg is missing
The second is torn
The third leg is scattered all over the lawn
There's no need explaining
The one leg remaining
Is out on the carport floor
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I over looked before!

Nice!
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