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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 03-05-2010, 09:22 AM   #31
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
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On top of Old Smokey
All covered in sand
I shot my poor teacher
With a red rubber band.

I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I couldn't have missed her
She was forty feet wide.
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Old 03-05-2010, 09:37 AM   #32
Pie
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I wasn't quite satisfied,
She wasn't dead yet,
So I took a machete
And cut off her head.
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 03-05-2010, 09:54 AM   #33
Pete Zicato
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pie View Post
I wasn't quite satisfied,
She wasn't dead yet,
So I took a machete
And cut off her head.
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Old 03-05-2010, 10:09 AM   #34
classicman
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Shaw's post reminded me of this...

Lizzie Borden took an axe
gave her mother 40 whacks
When she saw what she had done
gave her father 41
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Old 03-05-2010, 10:12 AM   #35
Shawnee123
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OMG that is so funny, classic.

I was walking through the hallway the other day and heard some girl tell some other girl "I'm gonna axe my dad about that." (To those who are reading an oral-joke challenged, she meant 'ask')

I mumbled to myself "Who are you, Lizzie Fucking Bordon?"

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Old 03-05-2010, 10:25 AM   #36
Spexxvet
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Inky-dink a bottle of ink
the cork fell out and you stink
not because you're dirty
not because you're clean
just because you kissed the girl behind the magazine.


How about one to decide who is "it"?

doggie doggie diamond
step right out

one potato two potato...
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Old 03-05-2010, 11:07 AM   #37
Pie
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Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch a tiger by the toe.
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
My mother told me
To pick the very best one,
And you are [not] it!
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 03-06-2010, 12:12 PM   #38
Shawnee123
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jim and jinx
sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes jinx with a baby carriage!

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Old 03-06-2010, 12:28 PM   #39
Cloud
...
 
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milk, milk
lemonade
'round the corner
fudge is made!
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Old 03-06-2010, 08:59 PM   #40
monster
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Leprosy.
That old rotten man just touched my knee.
Now my flesh is falling off of me.
Oh, I think I got leprosy.

Suddenly
I'm just half the man I used to be.
There are pieces coming off of me.
Yes, leprosy came suddenly.

Why'd my arm fall off?
I don't know, no one will say.
I know something's wrong,
'cause my leg just walked away (without me.)

Yesterday,
I could always lounge the time away.
Now my bed is in a slimy way,
Oh, leprosy's ruined my day.

Why did I get cursed
with this rot? I need to hide.
I'm sure I'm diseased
for my spleen fell out my side. (ooooohhhh.)

Leprosy
has become a big problem for me.
All my friends now run away from me.
Oh how I hate this leprosy
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:37 PM   #41
Shawnee123
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Diahrrea, uh uh
Diahrrah, uh uh
Some people think it's funny
but it's really brown and runny.

Diahrrea, uh uh
Diahrrah, uh uh
Some people think it's gross
but it's really good on toast.
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Old 03-07-2010, 09:46 AM   #42
Clodfobble
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Suffocation, super suffocation
Suffocation, a game we like to play

First you get a paper bag
Then you put it on your head
Go to bed
Wake up dead
Ohhhhhhhhhh...

Suffocation, super suffocation
Suffocation, a game we like to play

Then you get a rubber hose
Then you put it up your nose
Turn it on
Then you're gone
Ohhhhhhhhhh...
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:52 PM   #43
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Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny Aff a Bus!
Ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
Oh ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
Ye cannae shove yer granny, for she's yer mammy's mammy,
Ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus.

Ye can shove yer other granny aff a bus,
Ye can shove yer other granny aff a bus.
You can shove yer other granny, for she's yer daddy's mammy,
Ye can shove yer other granny aff a bus.
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Old 03-09-2010, 03:01 PM   #44
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Ahem, Ahem, me mother's gone to church.
She told me not to play with you because you're in the dirt!
'tisn't because you're dirty, 'tisn't because you're clean,
It's because you've got the whooping cough
And eat margarine!
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Old 12-09-2017, 11:49 AM   #45
LongIslandLovely
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Stick your head in a jelly jar

I love this thread ! My mom taught us the catchy car car chant and now my two kids chant it when we take walks . I also had most of my neighbors saying it as well !
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