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Old 03-28-2019, 05:06 PM   #1
Flint
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You’re not doing well.

When people ask, “How are you doing?” they are not asking you about performing an action— to which “I am performing well,” would be an appropriate response. That is, an adverb (well) modifying the verb (performing).

The question, “How are you doing?” is commonly understood to mean, “What is your mental status?” and the appropriate answers are adjectives— e.g. on the ‘good’ to ‘bad’ scale.

“What is your status?”
“My status is good.”

“How are you doing?”
“GOOD. My status is GOOD.”



The “doing well” bandwagon is just pseudo-intellectual, socioeconomic virtue-signalling. I reject the entire premise, wholesale. The understood meaning of common-use language is the entire point of having a language.
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Last edited by Flint; 03-28-2019 at 05:11 PM.
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:48 PM   #2
BigV
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When asked that question, "how are you doing?", if I am not sick, I reply "I am well, thank you." I do not say "I am good."
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Old 03-28-2019, 09:08 PM   #3
glatt
 
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I see grammar nazis on social media. Just respect people, and don't be pedantic.
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Old 03-28-2019, 09:15 PM   #4
xoxoxoBruce
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Just hold up the palm of your hand and say, "Oy, don't ask".
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Old 03-28-2019, 09:20 PM   #5
sexobon
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Old 03-29-2019, 12:14 PM   #6
Flint
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt View Post
I see grammar nazis on social media. Just respect people, and don't be pedantic.
I'm not talking about social media-- these are IRL grammar zombies. They think they're signalling "I'm an educated intellectual who uses correct grammar (the highest human achievement)," but they're actually, awkwardly mangling a simple verbal exchange.

"How are you?" ... "Good"
"How are you?" ... "Good"

It's simple, it's easy, it's what you want to say because it makes sense in common use. But then, the desire to overcompensate kicks in and people remember they read an article on Buzzfeed (?) or wherever they got this stupid idea to say things "like a smart person."

THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED
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There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 03-29-2019, 01:11 PM   #7
Gravdigr
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If anyone asks me how I am doing, I quote Popdigr, who is quoting Dave Ramsay, and say "Better than I deserve."
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Old 03-29-2019, 01:54 PM   #8
Clodfobble
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I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.
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Old 03-29-2019, 02:02 PM   #9
Undertoad
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"Never had a bad day in my life"
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Old 03-29-2019, 02:17 PM   #10
Glinda
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.
I don't remember where it came from, but there's something in my memory banks about humans just dropping the pretense of caring how someone is doing, because typically, "How are you doing?" is more of an acknowledgement of another human being than an actual, caring and concerned inquiry. The comedian (?) suggested we just stop that silliness, and simply say "acknowledge" when we pass a cow-orker in the hall or share an elevator with someone.

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Old 03-29-2019, 03:10 PM   #11
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.
Exactly. Life is hard. I might be handling it right now but we could be off the rails in 10 seconds.

So Flint, how you doin?
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Old 03-29-2019, 03:20 PM   #12
Flint
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Super!

not really, but I'm too much of a private person to disclose anything personal

...or...

rarely: just pathetically shrug and murmur something like, "meh"

and then regret allowing myself a public display of weakness

...or...

to very tangential acquaintances, in the hallway: "Good, good."

(I always pause and repeat, to challenge the assertion that it's grammatically incorrect)
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******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 03-29-2019, 06:37 PM   #13
Urbane Guerrilla
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"Good enough not to overthink a social formula into exhaustion. And you?"

Micropassive-microaggressive, I suppose.
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Old 03-30-2019, 12:18 AM   #14
xoxoxoBruce
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Instead of How you doing, say Hope you're doing well.
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Old 03-30-2019, 07:26 AM   #15
glatt
 
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I usually respond with a "pretty good" when asked.

I find that it's a fake it till you make it kind of situation, and even if things aren't all that great, if I respond positively, it's almost like I just performed a quick counting of my blessings exercise and then I feel a little better.
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