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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 01-14-2006, 05:45 PM   #31
Ether42
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Oh were to start
My daughter told a random woman at the laundromat
that she saw my wife and I having "Relations"
See my daughter is not in anyway shy she will talk to any one
I often let her until the person seems annoyed
so she walks up to this lady and they start talking
then out of nowhere I hear her say
"I saw mom and dad naked"
"Oh yeah " responds the smirking woman
"Yeah" says my daughter "They were hugging and kissing it was nice"
Ok so at this point I'm thinking yeah it was nice
the other side of my brain (That being the part not located in my penis)
says how am i going to diffuse this
so I rush over trying to say "would you like to fold some laundry honey"
anything to get her away from this lady as by now I'm very embaressed
much to my dismay she says "I like to kiss naked it makes me happy"
great so now i look like a pedophile
I try a "Hey your DORA underware need to be put in the basket "
ofcourse "I don't want underwear dad SHE" pointing at this poor poor woman
"doesn't wear underwear dad"
it was all i could do to not laugh my ass off
then as if she knew when to save dad and baby (which is usally how it works with moms) mom walks in to pick us and the laundry
young one runs to see mommy
dad gives embarassed smile to the very kind lady
and walks away back to his folding of the laundry
and wondering if there is a better way to get the skid marks out of his shorts
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Old 01-14-2006, 07:52 PM   #32
footfootfoot
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Almost busted tonight.

A few weeks ago I was mentioning to my neighbor that SWMBO and I have a difference of opinion about the privet hedge that I planted unwittingly a couple of years ago. I had ordered something else and got these which were mislabelled.

I hate this hedge and intend to plant bush cherries there next spring.

SWMBO is not down with any part of this plan. In front of the inchling I told my friend that I would just swap the bush cherries for the privets when SWMBO was away for the weekend or something. If she noticed, I'd just tell her that I had pruned the privets and that's why they looked like two year whips.

Tonight at dinner inch3 says:
"We should dig the pribbits. In the springtime."

Blank look from me.

Mom: "Yeah, and maybe we can go in a boat in the springtime."

I know eventually she'll come around to the bush cherries, I just don't want to wait until that happens to plant them, they take a few years to bear.
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Old 01-16-2006, 10:12 AM   #33
York
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this topic is great....laughed and imagined those things happening in a coupple years... :p
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Old 01-17-2006, 10:37 PM   #34
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Inexplicably, and apropos of nothing I could perceive,

Inch3: "I don't need a bandaid, I'm going on a picnic"
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Old 01-26-2006, 08:47 PM   #35
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daddy went for a root canal -I told princess of the ryche that daddy's tooth had an owie - of course the response was "daddy's tooth needs a band aid"

princess has had a hard time getting up in the a.m. lately - crying - this morning - "momma - I don't want to cry anymore."
she also asks for Oingo Boingo, Chili Peppers, Green Day, and My-sturbed (Disturbed) in the truck on the way to day care in the mornings. (She's two.)
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Old 01-26-2006, 08:57 PM   #36
seakdivers
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Oingo Boingo?? I thought I was the only one out there that still loves Oingo Boingo!! Danny Elfman is awesome!
I think that's one of the many reasons I love The Nightmare Before Christmas. Whenever Jack is singing, it's actually Danny.
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Old 01-28-2006, 09:07 AM   #37
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Any Tim Burton movie graces us with the musical gifts of Danny Elfman. Genius.
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Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever.
He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon.

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Old 01-29-2006, 08:45 PM   #38
Aliantha
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My b/f has only had a licence to drive for a couple of years, and he and I met and started dating quite soon after he got a car. He doesn't particularly like driving, so I do most of it because I do enjoy driving. Because of b/f's inexperience, there were a couple of times when things happened and the kids would notice, and ask me questions later. In my mind I had just said something like, D hasn't had his licence for long so he's not as good at driving as I am.

Unfortunately it must have sounded otherwise to the kids because as we were pulling out of the driveway one day, b/f stalled the car. My oldest child piped up from the back seat, "It's ok D, we know you're not a good driver, but you'll get better".
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:23 PM   #39
footfootfoot
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Haha!
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Old 06-14-2006, 11:15 PM   #40
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In our particular school district, the elementary schools go up to 5th grade. At our school a group of the parents put together a yearbook for the exiting 5th graders. There are several sections where they asked all the kids to list their favorite memories of school, etc. Under their "main" picture in their homeroom, they were asked to complete "In 20 years I will be . . . "

Some sample responses:

"I think, I will be a pro hockey player."

"a musician living in Philadelphia."

"a cancer doctor."

"a flight attendant."

"a teacher."

"living in a mansion in California and playing field hockey."


My daughter's answer?

"30 years old."

Boy, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? (She claims she didn't understand what they were doing & thought it was a math question or something, but I still think it's a great answer.)
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Old 06-15-2006, 12:21 AM   #41
footfootfoot
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She's probably the only one who is right!
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Old 06-15-2006, 12:30 AM   #42
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Strange things happen ... I did my 9th grade career report on being a Psychiatrist. I went on to college, ended up with a BA degree in Geography and Planning, and worked for 10 years as a computer jockey.

Today, I am probably the one who hit closest to the mark.
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Old 06-15-2006, 01:27 AM   #43
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I know I have dozens... I think I've blocked them out.
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Old 06-18-2006, 09:49 PM   #44
footfootfoot
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The inchling an I were watching video clips of surfers and jugglers the other day. He is in potty training mode and is pretty much diaper free except at night. During the day, he often runs around freestyle or commando to buy him those extra few seconds to get to the potty. (It's all about him succededing say the experts) .

Anyway, he's lounging around freestyle this day and I glance over at him to see if he's duly impressed with the video and I notice he's got his 'special purpose' in hand and he's wrestling with it. I usually ignore this if it isn't happening in the middle of a public place, so I turn back to the video. A
moment later he looks over at me and says: "Jenny (his babysitter) is my friend."

"Uh huh." I say and go back to the video.

He's completely disingenuous.
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Old 06-20-2006, 05:32 PM   #45
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"But I don't know where the hospital is." says SonofV.

Perplexed at the connection between this statement and the previous thread of the conversation about french fries (should we order some more), I barely managed a "Why do you need a hospital?"

"Because that's where the baby will be born."

Ding!

The earlier conversation had resumed. An hour earlier, he started with "When I grow up, I'm gonna be a hippie."

"Oh, really? Why?"

"Because they're nice people, they don't smoke, and I'm going to marry a girl with long hair."

"Do you know any hippies? What makes you think they're nice people?"

"Well, I saw some on tv."

"Ahh. Well, they are nice people, but some of them do smoke." I went off on a little tangent about smoking marajuana, which was news to him. I had my teachable moment, I planted a seed and I didn't pound it into the ground. An hour later at the restaurant, he worries out loud about the hospital. I told him if he can handle growing up, becoming a hippie and getting married to a girl with long hair, he won't have any trouble finding the hospital.
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