Do you like screwin' with peoples minds?

buttless · 10-01-2011, 05:46 AM

First off there are some very basic guide lines to keep yourself out of trouble.

1. DON'T be abusive in any way shape or form.
2. Be sure your victim can not depart from the situation.
3. Be sure your victim is in a position where they can not react negatively to what you will do. (hence rule #1)

Here's what I did a couple weeks ago just to amuse myself.
Walking to the store I see a Panda Express Restaurant and think to myself, somebody in there needs to be fucked with. I do this knowing I will not actually be orfering anything.

Underpaid Panda Express employee: Good afternoon, how may I help you?
Me: Ummm.... Let's see... How about some of the sweet and sour panda.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Uhhh... We don't have that sir.
Me: Ok.. How about the Kung Pao Panda?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: I'm sorry sir but we don't have that either.
Me: (with just a hint of attitude in my voice) Fine... Then I guess I will have to settle for the Panda Fried Rice then.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?
Me: Of course I do. That's why I want some. How will I be able to get some once they are extinct?

At this point the girl is just a bit flustered and has no idea what to do about me.

Me: Ok, see if you understand this. Let's say I have a restaurant called Chicken Express. What do you think I would be serving there?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: (with a little hesitation) Chicken?
Me: Right! What if the place was called Burger express?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Burgers of course.
Me: Right again! So here we are in Panda Express and I can't seem to get ANY panda! What's wrong with this picture?

Now there are people lining up behind me waiting to order. Surprisingly all of them have grins on there faces having been entertained before their meal.

At this point I juast throw up my arms in frustration, say "Aww the hell with it", and stomp out the front door.

Did I actually do this?
Hell yes.

Sundae · 10-01-2011, 07:28 AM

Do I like wasting people's time?
Nah, not much.

classicman · 10-01-2011, 08:11 AM

Sounds like something an asshole would do, but hey whatever gets your rocks off.
Me? Nah I'm not interested in shitting on other people completely undeserved and for no reason. I take it you are a teenager?

Oh, and if I were in line behind you ... I wouldn't have been grinning either.

Trilby · 10-01-2011, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Me? Nah I'm not interested in shitting on other people completely undeserved and for no reason.

yes you are and yes you do.

Sundae · 10-01-2011, 08:16 AM

Have to say I disagree with you there Bri.
Classic's reaction might not always be reasonable (imo) but it's not for shits & giggles. And I don't think he's an arsehole either.

Just sayin.

classicman · 10-01-2011, 08:18 AM

meh.

ETA. thanks Sundae, but don't piss off the clique. They may turn on you.

Sundae · 10-01-2011, 08:21 AM

Bri isn't the clique, she's my friend.
We have different opinions sometimes.

I don't always step in, because people are entitled to an opinion, and equally Dwellars can look after themselves.
Just this time I thought I would, as the response is not based on anything written this thread.

Oh and just to clarify - on rereading Brianna didn't call you an arsehole.
So I ramped it up a bit there.
Soz.

Clodfobble · 10-01-2011, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttless

Did I actually do this? Hell yes.

I believe that you made a passing joke to some cashier about there not being Panda on the menu.

But I do not for one moment believe that the conversation was as drawn out as you have described here. People who work in fast food places do not say things like, "Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?" They hate their lives and just want to get the transaction over with. You have to get up to the level of a barista at Starbucks before you can find any sense of self-righteousness in your average customer service worker.

I do, however, believe that the cashier dismissed your joke as one she has heard a hundred thousand times before, and urged your order transaction along without allowing you to fully examine your prepared thesis in all its glory. Which is precisely why you felt the need to come here and present it for us instead.

footfootfoot · 10-01-2011, 08:42 AM

Sexy minds. that's what I came to this thread for. If this thread were called "Screwing with red-heads" I'd expect a discussion (and hopefully pictures) of Gingers in all their glory. And, if this thread were called "Screwing with Blondes" I'd expect a discussion on the merits of the Nordic people (and probably a few blonde jokes)

You can imagine my disappointment to find the thread's leading post to not only be completely devoid of any screwing whatever, but also to start with a list of RULES. WTF?

I will say that the thread was entirely redeemed by poster #8

Sundae · 10-01-2011, 08:45 AM

If it was Screwing With Pandas I would certainly expect Sarge.

infinite monkey · 10-01-2011, 10:10 AM

Friendly bunch, eh buttles? It is almost hard to imagine coming from such perfection.

Pico and ME · 10-01-2011, 11:15 AM

Yeah, I think Buttless just played with their self in this scenario.

Trilby · 10-01-2011, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

From now on, if anyone says "Here, have some Cotton Candy" it means they want to strangle you while buttfucking you in the mouth while you stand on hot coals. K?

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Here, have some Cotton Candy, IM.

ETA: that struck me as mean-ness for mean-ness' sake.

jimhelm · 10-01-2011, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I believe that you made a passing joke to some cashier about there not being Panda on the menu.

But I do not for one moment believe that the conversation was as drawn out as you have described here. People who work in fast food places do not say things like, "Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?" They hate their lives and just want to get the transaction over with. You have to get up to the level of a barista at Starbucks before you can find any sense of self-righteousness in your average customer service worker.

I do, however, believe that the cashier dismissed your joke as one she has heard a hundred thousand times before, and urged your order transaction along without allowing you to fully examine your prepared thesis in all its glory. Which is precisely why you felt the need to come here and present it for us instead.

.... I'm madly in love with you at this point.

Every time I read something clodfobble writes, I'm like. Yeah.

that's all I say. Yeah.

because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK!

buttless, make sure you tell the finance manager where you buy your next car that 'you feel like you're signing your life away' AND that 'this is more paperwork than it takes to buy a house' cuz we've never heard that before either.

i'm giving you a probationary 'cock' label. you're going to have to work your way out of the cock hole with some honesty and originality. good luck to you sir. ...and ... sorry about your butt. that must have hurt.

glatt · 10-01-2011, 12:09 PM

The thing about Clodfobble's posts is that she'll take a thought that you have, and while you may not have fully fleshed out all the details of the thought to the point that it's crystal clear, she has done precisely that.

In the back of my mind, I was thinking the op was bs, but I didn't bother to think precisely of how it was bs. I was ready to just shake my head and move on. Clodfobble does the work for me, and she does it perfectly.

10-01-2011, 07:28 AM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Do I like wasting people's time? Nah, not much. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-01-2011, 08:11 AM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Sounds like something an asshole would do, but hey whatever gets your rocks off. Me? Nah I'm not interested in shitting on other people completely undeserved and for no reason. I take it you are a teenager? Oh, and if I were in line behind you ... I wouldn't have been grinning either. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-01-2011, 08:16 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Have to say I disagree with you there Bri. Classic's reaction might not always be reasonable (imo) but it's not for shits & giggles. And I don't think he's an arsehole either. Just sayin. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-01-2011, 08:18 AM	#6
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	meh. ETA. thanks Sundae, but don't piss off the clique. They may turn on you. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-01-2011, 08:21 AM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Bri isn't the clique, she's my friend. We have different opinions sometimes. I don't always step in, because people are entitled to an opinion, and equally Dwellars can look after themselves. Just this time I thought I would, as the response is not based on anything written this thread. Oh and just to clarify - on rereading Brianna didn't call you an arsehole. So I ramped it up a bit there. Soz. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-01-2011, 05:46 AM	#1
buttless Eavesdropper Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 24	Do you like screwin' with peoples minds? First off there are some very basic guide lines to keep yourself out of trouble. 1. DON'T be abusive in any way shape or form. 2. Be sure your victim can not depart from the situation. 3. Be sure your victim is in a position where they can not react negatively to what you will do. (hence rule #1) Here's what I did a couple weeks ago just to amuse myself. Walking to the store I see a Panda Express Restaurant and think to myself, somebody in there needs to be fucked with. I do this knowing I will not actually be orfering anything. Underpaid Panda Express employee: Good afternoon, how may I help you? Me: Ummm.... Let's see... How about some of the sweet and sour panda. Underpaid Panda Express employee: Uhhh... We don't have that sir. Me: Ok.. How about the Kung Pao Panda? Underpaid Panda Express employee: I'm sorry sir but we don't have that either. Me: (with just a hint of attitude in my voice) Fine... Then I guess I will have to settle for the Panda Fried Rice then. Underpaid Panda Express employee: Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species? Me: Of course I do. That's why I want some. How will I be able to get some once they are extinct? At this point the girl is just a bit flustered and has no idea what to do about me. Me: Ok, see if you understand this. Let's say I have a restaurant called Chicken Express. What do you think I would be serving there? Underpaid Panda Express employee: (with a little hesitation) Chicken? Me: Right! What if the place was called Burger express? Underpaid Panda Express employee: Burgers of course. Me: Right again! So here we are in Panda Express and I can't seem to get ANY panda! What's wrong with this picture? Now there are people lining up behind me waiting to order. Surprisingly all of them have grins on there faces having been entertained before their meal. At this point I juast throw up my arms in frustration, say "Aww the hell with it", and stomp out the front door. Did I actually do this? Hell yes.

10-01-2011, 08:42 AM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Sexy minds. that's what I came to this thread for. If this thread were called "Screwing with red-heads" I'd expect a discussion (and hopefully pictures) of Gingers in all their glory. And, if this thread were called "Screwing with Blondes" I'd expect a discussion on the merits of the Nordic people (and probably a few blonde jokes) You can imagine my disappointment to find the thread's leading post to not only be completely devoid of any screwing whatever, but also to start with a list of RULES. WTF? I will say that the thread was entirely redeemed by poster #8 __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-01-2011, 08:45 AM	#10
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	If it was Screwing With Pandas I would certainly expect Sarge. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-01-2011, 10:10 AM	#11
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Friendly bunch, eh buttles? It is almost hard to imagine coming from such perfection.

10-01-2011, 11:15 AM	#12
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Yeah, I think Buttless just played with their self in this scenario. __________________ Jesse LaGreca in 2012 “Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” – Mahatma Gandhi

10-01-2011, 12:09 PM	#15
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	The thing about Clodfobble's posts is that she'll take a thought that you have, and while you may not have fully fleshed out all the details of the thought to the point that it's crystal clear, she has done precisely that. In the back of my mind, I was thinking the op was bs, but I didn't bother to think precisely of how it was bs. I was ready to just shake my head and move on. Clodfobble does the work for me, and she does it perfectly.

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