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Old 10-25-2008, 11:13 AM   #2776
Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 6,513
Shawnee - hang in there. I'm feeling a bit like a spare part at my new job as the woman I'm replacing is still there and the job is very bitty. She has assured me that she's going to draw up a comprehensive list of what her job entails, but I've not got any sense of what I should be doing when yet, and I'm not sure she's got the time to do it before she leaves next week. But it's early days, dearie, early days.
Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
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Old 10-25-2008, 07:52 PM   #2777
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,477
What's upsetting me today?

Not grumpy tired children who stayed up too late last night.
Not the fact that my tree ferns don't seem to be doing well.
Not the fact that I wanted to go for a swim today but it's low tide during the day.
Actually, nothing is upsetting me today.
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber
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Old 10-26-2008, 05:27 AM   #2778
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
This one's for Shawnee

You'll be right. Think positive. Check your posture occasionally at work. Make sure you keep your physical posture good. A lot can flow from that, for me at least.

This is for Lookout

That does kinda suck. (a) 1800 goddam dollars???!!!! (b) they sent no warning or anything before cutting you off???!!! (c) now is NOT a good time for extra aggravation!! (d) how do they always manage to screw up in their favour every time they do anything??? HMMMM?????

I should stop ranting vicariously.

Say, aren't you two related?

This is for Sundae.

Sorry, but I thought that was funny. I hope you will too in a few days.
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Old 10-27-2008, 10:42 PM   #2779
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 28,666
Upsetting? No, way beyond that.... but we don't need yet another thread of this genre, so this will do....for my rant.....


my kids are swimmers. I am involved with the running of their team. Their usual pool s under construction. We have an alternative -5 miles further down the road. It's free because when their pool was under construction, we housed them whithout cost (except they just billed us, but that's a different rant0.

Anyway, their heater broke. so the pool was closed for a bit. Then they decided that rather than fixit asap, they'd fight the manufacturers.... so we had to swim at 70degrees or not at all (that's really effing cold) so we've been swimming in the cold. finally it's fixed (we hear) but we can't get in the pool topractice becaus all the teams swimming there are scheduling their meets that were cancelled due to the cold or the gas leak in the area a few weeks ago....

So I run my ass off -email, telephone and literally to get another pool for us to practice in tonight and tomorrow. it ain't cheap and it's tiny and we had to jump through all sorts of paperwork hoops to get it, I have to rope the prez of the club in to help me (I'm the treasurer). We do it. we get the insurance, the payment, the certifications and the booking in line and turm up tonight to find the athletic director of the school (middle school) cancelling our practice because their are medicals for sports teams tonight and they want to use the locker rooms for blood pressure measurements and they need quiet for that.

Our prez, who is an RN goes town with them about that, they agree we can still use pool but our swimmers may not walk through the halls and must change in the bathrooms.

but when i arrive, there are notices posted on all doors cancelling our practice tonight and tomorrow... apparently she (the athletic director) decided that -after our 4-8 yo beginners had swum- our swimmers were too disruptive to her potential medicals (did I say potentiel there? read on) that we couldn't use the pool at all, so she posted two notices on each door, one cancelling practice for tonight and one for tomorrow.

well hello, you can't actually cancel our practice, we're booked and we paid for it and you're not..... and tomorrow? there aren't even medicals tomorrow..... she said "ooops! *giggle* that was an accident!" She apparently meant it to be today's date... but why would you need two notices side by side in each location cancelling the same practice?

just to add the cherry to the cake, hardly anyone showed up for the medicals and they did not use the locker rooms at all.
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 10-28-2008, 05:37 AM   #2780
Dirty bro getting low with his ho
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas City, MO USA
Posts: 12,486
I feel like I'm in a super-slow game of chicken and it's driving me insane and I just want it to stop.

April left her job last month...unfortunately, I cannot go into the specifics of the situation, as there may be litigation on the horizon due to what led to her departure. In short, she did nothing wrong. We originally made the decision to move in with her mom next month, as our lease is up, and moving in with her would prevent us from blowing through our savings and/or racking up debt.

Then two weeks ago, she started an interview process with Washington University, St. Louis' most prestigious college. She was one of 34 candidates for this last Thursday, she was one of 2. They want to get someone in to do this job ASAP, so a decision was to be made by yesterday.

No call yesterday...but they lagged on the second interview process as well.

If April gets this job, it is a nice pay increase over her last job and would allow us to stay in our apartment--something that we want, her mom wants and our landlord wants. Talk about a beast...our landlord offered to defer our rent if we signed a new lease.

Anyway, we just want an obvious sign--a phone call, an e-mail, a letter. Something tangible that says, "You're our new director" or "Sorry, we've gone in a different direction." If she doesn't hear anything by the end of today, she's going to call tomorrow to find out the status of the position.

I just want to know so that we can move on with our life. April is already beating herself up because she feels like she's fucked our life up due to quitting her job. I've tried to tell her that that's just not true--you should have seen her just before she left her job...what a mess that was. If we have to move in with her mom for 6 months to a year, I can deal with that. Her mom is the one that offered in the first place. She drives me nuts sometimes, but she's cool...cooler than my own mom.

So in short, if you all could pray/chant/will a sign to us today, that would be splendiferous. Thank you.
Have you found Jesus? I have...he does a great job on my lawn.

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Old 10-28-2008, 05:40 AM   #2781
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
One of our artists has just told me that HM turned up here last night and asked if we wanted to adopt Hely as she obviously prefers it here to there.

I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why that's upset me - but it has. I feel really sad about it, and a little angry, although I suspect I am being unfair.

I think it's because she's such a lovely cat and I feel as if she's been rejected. I think also it's because I feel he never made an effort with her when I lived there, and I suspect he didn't after I left, although of course I can't be sure of that. I think also it's because it shows a lack of care - he spoke to an artist who is rarely here, and although he doesn't know that, apparently he didn't even ask. The artists who spoke to him was really puzzled as to why this random man had turned up and was trying to get rid of his cat.

Anyway, I should just take a deep breath and clear the butterflies. This does not have to be a confrontation. I'll get Deb to go and speak to him - there'll be no personal aspect to it then. She's spoken before about adopting Hely formally. All it would take would be a litter tray in here, so that she didn't have to be kicked out overnight. And I'd have to make sure I got some dried food in to supplement her diet and put some water down too.

After all, I already groom her, give her flea treatments and check her health. And if she'd ever gone missing or appeared i'll I'd have taken responsibility for that too. Her collar is round here somewhere - I'll put it back on her so people know she's not a stray. I might even get a tag for it, so it's all official.

Thank you, I'm feeling a bit better now.

UPDATE - I'm getting two different stories. Ben and Anya say Steve came looking for her and Ben explained that hs ekept getting locked in, So Steve said he would come by every evening to pick her up and take her home. He did so, but when Ben went into the yard later she was there and followed him back in. I have a feeling that he spoke to Sid after this, but the only way I'll know is if he turns up tonight. I'm going to leave on time. I'm such a coward but I don't want to see him.

For the record I did leave him a card when I moved the last of my stuff out, to thank him for everything he's done. And yet since I've moved I've become really wary of seeing him, as if I've done something really awful to him. I don't know why.
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

Last edited by Sundae; 10-28-2008 at 05:52 AM.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:01 AM   #2782
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,376
You feel that way because a friendship became rocky and when you left it was not on good terms. And because you know, from your last visit to the house, that he is on a massive downswing and not actually taking care of himself.

This isn't your fault honey. The only blame you could possibly take on is your share of the anger/frustration that characterised your last few weeks there and that might be where the residual guilt is coming from. That and the fact that when you hit rock bottom he helped you out, yet now he's at rock bottom, you aren't in a position to - and the nature of the friendship has changed such that - you cannot do the same for him: so now you are feeling (correct me if I am wrong) a little like you've abandoned him to his fate?

Ain't your fault hon. Not his either. It's just one of those things. Friends living with friends is about as fraught a situation as exists on this planet :P I've lived with friends, it's never worked. Living two doors from my bro and sharing a yard with his family for 8 years was fraught enough lol (though that had rather more to do with my partner and his partner not really liking each other).

The thing with Hely sounds to me like he might actually be feeling a little hurt that the cat doesn't want to stay with him. Taking it personally that she prefers to hang out at your workplace? I don't know.

Hope it works out in the end, babe, and hopefully you can rescue the friendship at some point as well. When the dust settles and time passes.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:09 AM   #2783
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
I think you might be right. Which was why I dreamed about him and his new housemate the other night. I am actually a bit worried about him and the fact that I've let him down quite horribly.
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:12 AM   #2784
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,376
You haven't let him down.

The two of you were not temperamentally suited to house sharing.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:34 AM   #2785
Looking forward to open mic night.
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 5,148
I had an HM situation like that. We still don't speak. I did make an effort to be cordial after I left, but my HM was jealous of my new place after she was invited over. So she couldn't keep her trap shut about how I managed to pull it off, after the short period of time she gave me to move out. Part of her wanted to see me couch surf. That did not happen, and the new place ended up being small but very cool. I quit talking to her after years of friendship because she made me uncomfortable after I saw her true colors, and her character was not that, of a friend. Jealous, spiteful, really attention mongering, and maybe she carried all this the whole time. Maybe she was helping me so she could tell others how good she was for it, and silently enjoyed my temporary imbalance. In any case, we never made amends though I made several attempts. Once I gave her some money because she seemed like she needed it. She took it, but seemed bent about that too. In retrospect, I believe she never was a friend and I might have been a little naive about the nature of our relations. Not that that would have changed anything. When I moved in with her, I needed to. Her attitude showing, at that point, wouldn't have changed anything about my need for shelter. I did what I had to do and repayed some of it. I feel ok about it. But if she is still anything like she used to be, she feels worse because she always did. And most of it has very little to do with me. I was briefly there for the show.

She did mention that she quit feeding the kitty that used to come over every day. As if it were my kitty and she was going to punish it. I doubt your ex HM is anything like mine, Sundae. But we never should have talked or made friends in the first place. If I had known she was oil and I was water from the first time we met, it might be different. I regret mostly, that I wasn't a better person at the time, and let myself go deeper into financial ruin. It's too bad there was someone there to watch it, and love it.

We will never make amends. And I do not mind. My long-winded point? These things take time, after the fact, to get a handle sometimes. Don't feel weird, it might be someone else trying to make you feel that way out of some strange satisfaction, wait and see.

Kind of like what Dana said. We were never suited to being friends, muchless any type of living arrangement.....She's just low and mean. God was she mean. It's taken me a long time to say that.
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung
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Old 10-29-2008, 07:59 AM   #2786
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,713
I am unhappy because I am home sick again today...a week after being home sick. TF's respiratory illness has now spread through our entire household, in fact, proving that the surest vector for disease is your own extended family.
"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 10-29-2008, 11:56 AM   #2787
Glutton for Gluttony
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,408
It's so, so cold, and so, so dry. Because I have eczema and sensitive, dry skin, I feel like my entire surface area is in pain. Yuck.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:24 PM   #2788
Gone and done
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,808
Well, we lost the house. We made an offer of $X95k, and instead of coming back with $(X+1)10K or somesuch, they took it off the market. What the hell? So, we're stuck in apartment hell till past the holidays, at best.
per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:25 PM   #2789
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,376
Originally Posted by Chocolatl View Post
It's so, so cold, and so, so dry. Because I have eczema and sensitive, dry skin, I feel like my entire surface area is in pain. Yuck.
I hear ya honey. Eczema is a funny thing. On the one hand it's 'a rash', on the other hand it's our biggest organ, and when that organ isn't working properly, it makes you feel like shit. Do you have stuff to keep it under control? Don't do what I did recently and let it all get out of control and not go to the doctors...

Which reminds me: update on my gripe from other day -

My feet and ankles are normal sized again! yey! I slept like a log last night. I am getting better by the day. The anti-biotics, water tablets and sedatives between them are making me feel a bit rank, but I can live with the nausea for a week I'm sure.

Yey. Feeling myself again. I even found myself automatically answering the phone the last couple of days, instead of letting the ans phone get it.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:27 PM   #2790
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,376
Originally Posted by Pie View Post
Well, we lost the house. We made an offer of $X95k, and instead of coming back with $(X+1)10K or somesuch, they took it off the market. What the hell? So, we're stuck in apartment hell till past the holidays, at best.
Oh crap. Sorry to hear that Pie. That's some shitty timing.

Oh and Els, hope you're feelin better mate *hugs*
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