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12-27-2010, 07:59 AM
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#3826 |
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a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,280
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from my friend's facebook via his 13 year old son:
What color does a Smurf turn when you choke it?
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-- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan |
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12-27-2010, 08:05 AM
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#3827 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Ha! My friend's younger brother told me once he had a job as a lifeguard, but some "blue kid" got him fired.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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12-27-2010, 08:10 AM
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#3828 |
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a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,280
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oh dayum
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-- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan |
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12-27-2010, 10:51 AM
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#3829 |
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This Space For Rent
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street
Posts: 14,240
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Women should not have children after 35.
35 children are plenty.
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...this reads like a cross between Cosmopolitan's 'ten ways to please your man' and a suicide note written by Nostradamus on a coke binge. - Flint |
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12-28-2010, 11:36 AM
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#3830 |
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a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,280
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-- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan |
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12-28-2010, 11:40 AM
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#3831 |
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a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,280
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fuck. sitting at my desk crying... I have to stop reading them.
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-- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan |
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12-28-2010, 12:04 PM
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#3832 |
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a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,280
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-- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan |
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12-30-2010, 08:01 PM
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#3833 |
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as filthy as a good set of beer goggles
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Friendswood, Tx.
Posts: 4,059
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Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa’s flying skills to the test…The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolph’s nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations for the sled’s enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa’s surprise, a shotgun. “What’s that for?!?” asked Santa incredulously. The examiner winked and said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” as he leaned over to whisper in Santa’s ear, “but you’re gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”
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Philthyism #69.1 - trust me on this one. Don't EVER masturbate after slicing up fresh jalepeno peppers! Philthyism #69.2 - **WARNING** reading Infinite Monkey's posts maybe hazardous to your beer's health! oh. and your keyboard and monitor too because of said beer. |
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12-30-2010, 08:25 PM
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#3834 |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 4,212
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Elections matter - Words matter - Corporations don't die You never know what may come from a single act of kindness. Don't eat soup in the rain, because unless you're quick you might never finish. |
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12-30-2010, 09:22 PM
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#3835 | |
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Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 18,209
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Quote:
There are over 160 pages of this shit and I can't make it past page 16! UNCLE! I surrender, please. I'm scaring the dogs and probably the neighbors with the insane howling laughter. .... <breathe> ok.... ok.... jeebus.
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Remember: Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180) |
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12-30-2010, 10:16 PM
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#3836 |
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as filthy as a good set of beer goggles
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Friendswood, Tx.
Posts: 4,059
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my thoughts exactly!
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Philthyism #69.1 - trust me on this one. Don't EVER masturbate after slicing up fresh jalepeno peppers! Philthyism #69.2 - **WARNING** reading Infinite Monkey's posts maybe hazardous to your beer's health! oh. and your keyboard and monitor too because of said beer. |
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12-30-2010, 10:46 PM
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#3837 |
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Confounded Conjuror
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 33
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lmao. Wherever that happened, I see the Edge symbol.. bet they're some country-type folk.
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12-30-2010, 10:48 PM
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#3838 |
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Touring the facilities
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The plains of Colorado
Posts: 3,470
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What's wrong with country type folk?
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12-31-2010, 06:37 PM
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#3839 | |
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Confounded Conjuror
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 33
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Quote:
*phew* |
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12-31-2010, 06:53 PM
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#3840 |
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Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,199
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      J/K
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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