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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 02-08-2004, 12:25 AM   #31
Whit
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      Eh, actually in my earlier example I inflicted minor pain, mostly shock really, in order to avoid major pain and blood loss. A lot of discipline is targeted that direction.
      Also, a slap on the ass works really well with kids to young to lecture. By the time my kids could properly stand they had been taught what they were allowed to touch. I never actually hurt them, but a couple of well timed swats to the diaper made the point well.
      Which brings up another point. You don't have to hurt them when you spank them. Like Brig suggested earlier, just knowing it's a swat, not a pat, will often cause the desired effect, without a really difference in force used.
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Old 02-08-2004, 12:31 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by Brigliadore
I never saw getting a spanking as ruling with pain and fear. Often times the spankings I received were no harder then a pat on the butt. They almost never caused pain, but the principle of them is what I respected.
I have never in my life heard of such a thing. Spanking doesn't hurt? This concept is foreign to me. We're truely talking about two completely different types of punishment here.
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Old 02-08-2004, 12:46 AM   #33
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Quote:
JUJU said I have never in my life heard of such a thing. Spanking doesn't hurt? This concept is foreign to me. We're truely talking about two completely different types of punishment here
Dude its like swatting a dog with a news paper , it doesn't hurt , but it freaks them out . I used to get the kids attetion by just apearing when they least expected it . Their mom only had to spank them once that i ever knew of .
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Old 02-08-2004, 12:48 AM   #34
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After talking to Whit on IM, I guess I have to clarify. My mother made me drop my pants, exposing bare ass, after which she spanked me hard, over and over, until my butt was so red I could barely sit down for the next couple hours.

That's honestly what I thought spanking was. I always felt I got off easy, after hearing stories from my mom's childhood about how she had to "go out back and get her own switch from the tree -- a new green one, so it didn't break easily".


Last edited by juju; 02-08-2004 at 12:51 AM.
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Old 02-08-2004, 12:50 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by juju
I have never in my life heard of such a thing. Spanking doesn't hurt? This concept is foreign to me. We're truely talking about two completely different types of punishment here.
For the most part the spankings my sisters and I received never hurt. Every now and then if we were being royal asses then yes the spanking was a little more forceful, but never enough to leave bruises, just sting a bit for a minute or so. Now having had different parents I have no doubt that the spankings you may have received were different from the ones I received. The point I was making in my last post is that a spanking doesn't always have to hurt, you can give them with very little force and because of the psychological point of them the child sees it as a punishment.

When I was about 6 or 7 I said to my mom "You know your spankings don't hurt, right?" to which she replied "They are not suppose to".

EDIT: I didn't see your above post about the type of spankings you received till after I hit post reply.
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Old 02-08-2004, 01:04 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by juju
[b]After talking to Whit on IM, I guess I have to clarify. My mother made me drop my pants, exposing bare ass, after which she spanked me hard, over and over, until my butt was so red I could barely sit down for the next couple hours. [b]
I am not trying to over step my bounds here so forgive me if I plant my foot in my mouth too bad, but this type of "spanking" is one of the main reasons IMO that spanking has become illegal in many states. The type of spanking you just described Juju is well beyond what I think is a fair punishment, and it borders if not crosses the beating line in my eyes. And frankly I can see where you are coming from saying spanking is wrong.

My grandma used to make my mom go get a wooden brush which my grandma would then beat her over the head with. My mom tells that on a few occasions my grandma broke the brush on her head. I was always horrified by this story. This is NOT in my opinion how corporal punishment should be.
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Old 02-08-2004, 01:07 AM   #37
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Wow. I had no idea it didn't have to be like that.
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Old 02-08-2004, 01:15 AM   #38
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      Not even close to like that. I can remember times when I gave a kid a swat because they wouldn't stop climbing on me when I was trying to do important paper work only to have them look up pleased that I was finally playing, see the serious/angry look on my face and immediately break into tears from the same swat that made them smile. It's all about the perceived intent.
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Old 02-08-2004, 01:45 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by BrianR
[B
However, I firmly (pun intended) believe in spanking as a last ditch discipline measure. Worked for me when I was young and it worked for generations of our parents/grandparents etc and it will work now. In fact, I don't think we have ENOUGH spanking going on, thanks largely to the touchy-feely do-gooders who are spending valuable school time teaching kids what is "abuse" and how to report it to the authorities, who have little or no oversight and zero accountability for their actions. Further, there are NO repercussions for the child who alleges "abuse" in an attempt to garner attention or to "get back" at parents who dared to attempt to punish them.

Brian [/b]
I have to agree with that. Nowadays, if your kids are little bastards, it's YOUR fault for not disciplining them; however, if you discipline them, you're being abusive. You just can't win.

I've never had to spank my daughter. 'Course, she's only two, but so far, a slapped hand does the trick. It's actually kinda funny....you tell her no, she does the forbidden act again, so you slap her hand....she looks at you, all offended, as if to say, "oh, my GOD...how DARE you?" Then begins to wail as if you've beaten her with a broomstick. But it gets the message across.

I was never spanked as a child, so it doesn't come natural to me to think of spanking my daughter. It just doesn't occur to me to do it. I was an only child, raised around adults, so I never went through the regular kid phases. My daughter is an only child, and I intend for her to stay that way, so maybe she'll grow up the way I, and my husband, who was also an only child, did. We matured quickly. Perhaps she will too...

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Old 02-08-2004, 09:12 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally posted by juju
After talking to Whit on IM, I guess I have to clarify. My mother made me drop my pants, exposing bare ass, after which she spanked me hard, over and over, until my butt was so red I could barely sit down for the next couple hours.

That's honestly what I thought spanking was. I always felt I got off easy, after hearing stories from my mom's childhood about how she had to "go out back and get her own switch from the tree -- a new green one, so it didn't break easily".

In case you haven't made the connection by now ... that's abuse.

Or is by today's standards, rather.
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Old 02-10-2004, 04:02 PM   #41
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I was spanked as a child, sometimes a simple swat, but other times over the knee with a wooden spoon. Always by my mother. It was rare... I was spanked maybe 10 times in my life. But I earned every spanking I got, I don't feel my parents treated me unjustly. My dad never really spanked me, but the mere thought of him being upset and disappointed with me was bad enough.

Lots of kids today are not disciplined enough, and they walk all over their parents. Part of this is due to parents being too lax, but I can identify with them to a degree... they're living in a time where one will be harshly judged for over-discsiplining or under-disciplining their child. They walk on a razor's edge sometimes with this kind of stuff. But we've got a generation of kids who may not be prepared for the world, because they've always done whatever they want to. I think this is a big factor in the growing popularity of blame-dodging and whininess... nobody takes responsibility for anything anymore.

I guess I have several basic philosophies on disciplining kids, which will probably change as I gain experience:


1) Know where you're going with punishment. Always know what you'll do next if the current measure is unsuccessul. Whether it's spanking, time-out, whatever.

2) Be consistent with a child. The whole point of discipline is to modify behavior, and inconsistency will bugger that up.

3) Never make a threat you won't follow through on. If you do, a boundary just collapsed.

4) What works for one child may not work for another... offer custom-fit discipline to increase effectiveness.

5) It is important that the child understands WHY they are being punished, and when escalating, they should know that it is because previous measures didn't get through to them. Allowing a child to know WHY they are being punished does not require that they agree with the reasoning.


Of course there are thousands of associated little details, but I think those are the key considerations. If that approach doesn't work, then fuck it... bend their fingers backwards until they stop the offending behavior.
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Old 02-10-2004, 05:50 PM   #42
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Discipline

Check out this site and the picture "An Array of Scottish Tawses"
www.corpun.com/scotland and see what the teachers used to keep order when I was at school.
Some of them were so sadistic with it,after six slaps with one of these,your hands were numb for hours.
One old art teacher had a trick he would show all the new kids he would hit a coin on his desk with one of these babies and the coin would be flush in the wood of the desk.Left an impression in more than the desk, break out in a sweat remembering it.
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Old 02-11-2004, 06:03 AM   #43
Pi
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What the heck is it this time?
Access denied

Proxy server = ganymede
Time & Date = 1076500904; Wed Feb 11 13:01:44 2004
Client address = 172.16.20.197
Client group = RMA-all
URL = http://www.corpun.com/scotland
Target class = porn

Can't somebody post the pic, please?
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Old 02-11-2004, 07:41 AM   #44
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Bad link corrected:

http://www.corpun.com/scotland.htm

Scottish "tauses":

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Old 02-11-2004, 08:06 AM   #45
Pi
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Thanks a lot! Those things look scary to me. In my school there was a teacher who took the pupil and hang it on a coat hook outside the classroom and then you only heard him punishing the kid and the kid screaming. It was quite horrible because you didn't see what was happening...
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