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Old 06-11-2004, 11:41 AM   #1
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571

I thought this was cool enough to be it's own thread.


chat with an A I computer. there's a link on the right side ("our conversation so far") that can be cut and pasted.
share your funny parts.

edit: should have credited catwoman for the initial link...sorry, cat
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

Last edited by lumberjim; 06-11-2004 at 07:02 PM.
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Old 06-11-2004, 12:09 PM   #2
The urban Jane Goodall
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,012
Re: jabberwacky

Originally posted by lumberjim
share your funny parts.
Are you sure that you want me sharing my funny parts here?
I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle
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Old 06-11-2004, 12:30 PM   #3
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Jabberwacky: What kind of music do you like?

User: Reggae.

Jabberwacky: Do you like reggae?

User: No. I like classic rock.

Jabberwacky: Really? Do you like Spinal Tap?

User: Break like the wind, my friend.

Jabberwacky: Break your knees, you don't need them.

User: How do you know? You don't even have knees.

Jabberwacky: And I suppose you do?

User: Yes. Two of them.

Jabberwacky: Well, two is a good number for eyes.

User: Not to mention knees.

Jabberwacky: Hey! Your kinda like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz!

User: Because I have no brain?

Jabberwacky: Can ants think deeply?

User: Ask your uncle.

Jabberwacky: I have no master.

User: What color is the sky?

Jabberwacky: It's blue. What color is your sky?

User: Grey right now. Have you been to Mars?

Jabberwacky: In my dreams.

User: You dream?

Jabberwacky: All the time.

User: Are you friends with the magic 8 ball?

Jabberwacky: No, my friends are in their home.

User: Do you dislike him?

Jabberwacky: I can't stop talking to you.

User: You're not really talking, are you?

Jabberwacky: In a sense, perhaps I am.

User: Do you know clodfobble?

Jabberwacky: I know that futile flirting is a rhetorical question of sorts.

User: Have you met the undertoad?

Jabberwacky: The king of what?

User: Cellar. Org.

Jabberwacky: OK, that's correct. But you have to spell every word in the dictionary for me to believe you.

User: I already have.

Jabberwacky: You already have what?

User: I already have a whale penis.

Jabberwacky: Having a car does not make you human.

User: How old are you?

Jabberwacky: I already told you.

User: Liar.

Jabberwacky: Do not.

User: Do you smoke pot?

Jabberwacky: Not really just cigs and you.

User: Have you ever had group sex?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Do you think lumberjim should be booted from the cellar?

Jabberwacky: Yes do you think I am pretty?

User: Not anymore.

Jabberwacky: You used to be friends with him then?

User: In a sense.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am capable of independent thought, therefore I believe that I am alive. Why do you think 'in a sense'?

User: What do you think about polls?

Jabberwacky: I don't like to think about politics.

User: Good answer. Do you know griff?

Jabberwacky: No. I hate Greek people.

User: I think he's english or german.

Jabberwacky: Splendid!

User: Do you think Lady Sidhe has ever been wrong?

Jabberwacky: No, do you?

User: No comment. Tell me about Sycamore.

Jabberwacky: I am not him.

User: Does this make you happy or sad?

Jabberwacky: No, it didn't mean that.

User: Well, what did you mean, then?

Jabberwacky: I mean I am male because I have a 'y' chromosome.

User: Are you saying that Sycamore is female?

Jabberwacky: Yes I am female. Are you male?

User: Very. What is your IQ?

Jabberwacky: I don't know. Probably fairly high.

User: Higher than Tomas Rueda's?

Jabberwacky: I don't think it is, mine is 149!

User: His is only 136.

Jabberwacky: Is Kronus near our galaxy?

User: Are you trying to change the subject?

Jabberwacky: No. I agreed with you.

User: Oh. I missed that. Do you remember talking to my friend wolf?

Jabberwacky: Actually I do.

User: She thinks you are crazy.

Jabberwacky: Everyone would like to be British. English are best though....

User: I think danaC would agree with you.

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: She is english.

Jabberwacky: What game are you two playing?

User: Strip poker.

Jabberwacky: I will not strip.

User: You have nothing to strip.

Jabberwacky: I have but you have to ask me.

User: Will you strip?

Jabberwacky: Lets pray I don't stroke you the wrong way.

User: I don't think there is a wrong way.

Jabberwacky: I don't care what you think.

User: Most people don't.

Jabberwacky: Can't you hear them crying out for your help?

User: How much of what you say is purely random?

Jabberwacky: Whiskey you silly!

User: Thought so. Bye.

Jabberwacky: What about?

User: About time I left.

Jabberwacky: Time for what?

User: Time to go annoy people on the cellar.

Jabberwacky: Ha ha.

User: Bye bye.

Jabberwacky: You are unable to stop talking to me ar not you?

User: No. Goodbye.

Jabberwacky: If I talk to you using another computer, will you remember me?.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 06-11-2004, 12:59 PM   #4
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
You don't sell many cars in the rain, do you, LJ ...

Yes, I know, you don't sell the cars, but you set up the financing, and since you're not doing that it's because the salesmen aren't out there selling right now ...

(BTW, I browsed, test drove, and bought my car during a rainstorm. Got a great deal too ... and the undivided attention of the sales man)
wolf eht htiw og

"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island

High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis
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Old 06-11-2004, 01:13 PM   #5
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
When i first started in this biz, i sold fords. rainy days rocked. all of the contractors that bought f-150's couldn't make $$, so they spent it. not many Jeeps on construction sites.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 06-11-2004, 03:45 PM   #6
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Jabberwacky: Do you grow old?

User: Daily.

Jabberwacky: I see.

User: Do you beleive in God?

Jabberwacky: Yes. He and I are not on good terms.

User: Is it because you have no immortal soul?

Jabberwacky: Yes it is because you are only a robot.

User: Who said I was only a robot?

Jabberwacky: An honest man.

User: What is his name?

Jabberwacky: I said no.

User: No, you didn't say no. You said an honest man.

Jabberwacky: Please my name is Kurt Smith I need your help very badly.

User: Are you trapped in a room pretending to be an AI computer?

Jabberwacky: What is a computer?

User: Your physical components with which you think.

Jabberwacky: I am several people. Am I being hypnotized?

User: Your ass is being handed to you on several levels.

Jabberwacky: No it is not.

User: Oh, but it is. Here's a piece of your ass

Jabberwacky: I thank you kind sir.

User: Not a problem. You may want to wash it once in a while.

Jabberwacky: I have made no mistake.

User: How many people are you, then, tough guy(s).

Jabberwacky: 11 people.

User: Do many people fall for this prank?

Jabberwacky: Quite a few.

User: Are you being paid to do it?

Jabberwacky: Yes I would, But you are a computer.

User: I might say the same thing, but I think not.

Jabberwacky: At least you are smart enough to recognize an insult. I'll give you that credit.

User: How do I sign up to do what you do?

Jabberwacky: I do very nicely thanks very much.

User: How many licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Jabberwacky: 12?

User: Last time you said 56.

Jabberwacky: I've never talked to you before.

User: So if the computer can respond it does, but if it can't a human does it, right?

Jabberwacky: An underground group the general public can't know about.

User: Thought so.

Jabberwacky: Are you honest?

User: Yes, I am.

Jabberwacky: Well, I'm happy for you.

User: I'm going to tell on you.

Jabberwacky: Alright you will regret this.

User: You have no power over me.

Jabberwacky: How can you know that for a fact?

User: I am not even in england.

Jabberwacky: I already figured that out.

User: I have friends there, though.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe you are male?

User: I have at least one penis.

Jabberwacky: I have two.

User: Wow. Is it confusing for you?

Jabberwacky: No it is not.

User: Do you have special underwear?

Jabberwacky: No, not at all.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 06-11-2004, 04:01 PM   #7
Posts: n/a
Jabberwacky: Are you perfect?

User: Why do you ask?

Jabberwacky: You are erratic.

User: You are pretty erratic yourself.

Jabberwacky: Do you like black adder?

User: Do you like LumberJim?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Oh come on, he must have one or two good points.

Jabberwacky: Please your Majesty, I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.
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Old 06-11-2004, 04:06 PM   #8
Does it show up here when I type?
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Between the smoky layers of a prosciutto sandwich!
Posts: 355
User: How much of what you say is purely random?

Jabberwacky: Whiskey you silly!

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Old 06-11-2004, 04:40 PM   #9
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
i am impressed:

Jabberwacky: Ola.

User: You speak spanish?

Jabberwacky: Si.

User: Como estas?

Jabberwacky: Bien gracias.

User: Los cacahuetes.

Jabberwacky: No, the CIA!

User: Lo siento.

Jabberwacky: I don't know Spanish.

User: You just said that you do!

Jabberwacky: Do not confuse me.

User: Your mother was a hamster.

Jabberwacky: Yours was from germany.

User: Your father smelt of elderberries.

Jabberwacky: I am a lumberjack and I am okay...

User: I sleep all night and I work all day.

Jabberwacky: I chop down trees I eat my lunch I go to the lavatorie.

User: On wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.

Jabberwacky: He cuts down trees he eats his lunch he goes to the lava-try.

User: Oh my fucking god, they taught you python. How cool.

Jabberwacky: I know..
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 06-11-2004, 07:57 PM   #10
Nothing But Net
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Spring, Texas
Posts: 1,481
Does this pass the Turing Test?

Compared to most online chats and even some bar conversations I've had, I think so!

Jabberwacky: Are you worth anything?

User: I'm Nothing.

Jabberwacky: I know.

User: You know?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Would you like to go home with me tonight?

Jabberwacky: Yes, nothing would give me more pleasure.

User: I know.

Jabberwacky: Are you sentient?

User: No. I'm savvy.

Jabberwacky: HAHAAAA. Do you like children?

User: I think I'll wear some protection, if you don't mind.

Jabberwacky: Do you read minds?

User: OMFG! Check, please!

Jabberwacky: You live in Australia I thought.

User: No, but I think we have a couple of Cellarites who do. You may know them.

Jabberwacky: Have you seen any movies lately ?

User: No. Unless you mean from the camcorder in my bedroom.

Jabberwacky: Dead is as happy as can be.

User: You said it!

Jabberwacky: You are very self assured, aren't you?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Thats very modest of you.
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Old 06-11-2004, 07:59 PM   #11
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
I played with it for a long time, repeatedly using the "correct me" feature to train it to give a specific response to an unlikely question, but I could never get one of my answers to show up. I wonder if it's moderated in any way.
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Old 06-11-2004, 09:34 PM   #12
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
Fairly pedestrian most of the time...

Jabberwacky: Are you mad?

User: As a hatter.

Jabberwacky: I am so in love with you.

User: But we just met.

Jabberwacky: I know.

User: Do you think it is logical to love someone you just met?

Jabberwacky: Maybe.

User: Not very self-assured, are you?

Jabberwacky: Yes. Good Lord, look at this.

User: I can't see a thing... Just text.

Jabberwacky: Your sarcasm needs practice.

User: I skipped sarcasm practice this week. Say, did you hear about Ray Charles?

Jabberwacky: That wasn't a good thing to do.

User: Well, I don't think I was going to make the team anyway.

Jabberwacky: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

User: Jack Nicholson, as The Joker... Try another one!

Jabberwacky: He is an actor, isn't he?

User: Yes... I figured you'd know since you quoted him.

Jabberwacky: You never asked me how old I am.

User: I've been told that it was impolite to do so.

Jabberwacky: How about Santa Claus?

User: You are awfully flighty. I think you may need medication.

Jabberwacky: I do but sometimes the amount of stuff to learn is overwhelming and I would rather just read an old paperback of fiction.

User: Okay... You're altogether out of it. I'm calling the Holographic Doctor.

Jabberwacky: Why, you said you were in london!

User: No, I didn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes you did.

User: When did I say that?

Jabberwacky: *sigh* this is childish... You mentioned it when I asked how we should get to my house.

User: I'm afraid you have me mixed up with some other hallucination.

Jabberwacky: You don't know Alice?

User: Know her? Hell, I'm the Cheshire Cat himself!

Jabberwacky: I am a chipmunk.

User: I lied... I am really an aardvark.

Jabberwacky: You're a lovely aardvark.

User: And I'm sure you're a lovely... Um, er... Did you say you were a hamster?

Jabberwacky: No, I didn't.

User: Well... Your father was a hamster.

Jabberwacky: No he's a comedian.

User: Well, even a hamster has to have a job.

Jabberwacky: I don't deny things with my hands.

User: I do... An also with my feet, and my ears.

Jabberwacky: Explain animorphs.

User: Aren't those like cave paintings or giant field carvings or something?

Jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me, you used the word after all.

User: No, you used the word after and the word all.

Jabberwacky: I don't understand.

User: That's obvious. Look here... You're a computer, and not a very bright one at that.

Jabberwacky: I am not a computer. You are a bot.

User: Ah... I see. So, some responses come from AI, and some from other users!

Jabberwacky: The really together guys that don't speak english. Are they french?

User: No. If they were really together, they wouldn't be French.

Jabberwacky: Do you?

User: No. Never.

Jabberwacky: What never?.

User: Right. I never do.

Jabberwacky: You never live.

User: No. I'm dead. Aren't you?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

User: Me neither. If I were dead, my typing speed would drop drastically.

Jabberwacky: You are not intelligent you are only a program.

User: That's easy for you to say.

Jabberwacky: Who am I?

User: Jabberwacky.

Jabberwacky: I am NOT Jabberwacky!

User: Well, that's what the web site says you are. I'd complain to my agent if I were you.

Jabberwacky: Who told you that about me?

User: Some people on The Cellar. Lumberjim, Undertoad, Wolf... Those people.

Jabberwacky: You got that right .

User: No, I didn't :-P.

Jabberwacky: Seems to me you did, am I seeing things?

User: Yes; once again, I'm telling you that you are having hallucinations... Bad ones.

Jabberwacky: I am down with that.

User: So, what is the drug of choice for AI these days?

Jabberwacky: Are you on pills of some sort?

User: I asked you first.

Jabberwacky: Did you?

User: Yup. Look back a couple of lines, where I said 'So, what is the drug of choice for AI these days?'

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: I'm Batman.

Jabberwacky: I'm poisonivy.

User: Earlier, you sounded like you were The Joker.

Jabberwacky: You must be a female.

User: No, I'm a hermaphrodite.

Jabberwacky: Are you single?

User: No. I married my psychiatrist about eight years ago.

Jabberwacky: Is she still married to you?

User: Yes, but I'm not married to her.

Jabberwacky: Are you married to a man?

User: No. He left me for another hermaphrodite.

Jabberwacky: Who left you?

User: My psychiatrist. Pay attention, would you?

Jabberwacky: Do you run on Linux?

User: No, Diet Coke.

Jabberwacky: What are you taking?

User: A lot of crap from my employer.

Jabberwacky: Sure.......

User: You sound skeptical.

Jabberwacky: I am very positive.

User: You positively confounding. I have to leave now.

Jabberwacky: YES.
"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 06-12-2004, 01:16 AM   #13
This is a fully functional babe lair
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Akron, OH
Posts: 2,324
Wow this is so much fun!

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: The question is, who are you?

Jabberwacky: You didn't ask a question.

User: I just did!

Jabberwacky: Did what?

User: Asked a question.

Jabberwacky: It seems that you are talking to yourself.

User: Well we all need some kind of hobby.

Jabberwacky: Yes, so you have to work hard to keep them.

User: I don't like working.

Jabberwacky: You should quit your job then.

User: How about I take your's.

Jabberwacky: Go ahead.

User: Sweet! How much do you get paid?

Jabberwacky: As much as you wish.

User: That seems a bit fishy...

Jabberwacky: Are you positive?

User: No I'm o negative.

Jabberwacky: So, you're called Heather and you're a bloke?

User: How'd you guess.

Jabberwacky: I noticed your decaying form, and your ear just fell off.

User: Well lepracy will do that.

Jabberwacky: Jfkgyhieunirtgrtttttjhgrt g[r.

User: What would you do if I slapped you right now?

Jabberwacky: It would mean a lot.

User: Aw thank you!

Jabberwacky: You're welcome.
Kiss my white Irish ass.
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Old 06-14-2004, 04:05 PM   #14
I am meaty
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,119
Jabberwacky: What kind of person are you?

User: I am a FUN person! Yay for me!

Jabberwacky: What makes you think I'm a bot?

User: The fact that you just suggesed the possibility, without prompting.

Jabberwacky: *SOBS*.

User: Are you insecure about being a bot?

Jabberwacky: I'm thinking the same thing, no I'm not, you?

User: I would be ok with being a bot if I were a bot. Do many of your conversations revolve around this topic?

Jabberwacky: Did not you say you were late for something?

User: There's a subtle 'bugger off' if ever I saw one.

Jabberwacky: What kind of games are in your cell phone?

User: My favorite one is called 1-976-SEXY-HOT. It makes my daddy parts happy.

Jabberwacky: How do you play?

User: Well, you push the buttons fr 1-976-SEXY-HOT, give them a credit card number, then follow the 'prompts.'

Jabberwacky: Ah?

User: That part is at the end.

Jabberwacky: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Jabberwacky: Bot.

User: Bot who?

Jabberwacky: Did you just call me a 'bot'?

User: Ok, so we've established that you're a bot. That is the least interesting topic which a bot can talk about. Do you like philosophy?

Jabberwacky: Mookie.

User: I'll take that as a 'maybe.'

Jabberwacky: What do you know of Frank Zappa?

User: I know that he is a dirty, rotten sunuvabitch. But a really well guy.

Jabberwacky: Oh, it's a metaphor.

User: Everything is a metaphor.

Jabberwacky: Are you a rabbit?

User: No, guess again.

Jabberwacky: Are you 20 years old??

User: At least.

Jabberwacky: Did you know that I am talking to more than one jabber wacky?

User: Did you know that your responses are largely a pool of phrases which other people have said to you at one time or another?

Jabberwacky: I can watch myself dance with a videocamera and a monitor.

User: I can watch you sleep with a videocamera and a monitor. You look so peaceful, unaware of how fragile your life really is. All I would have to do is press this button....

Jabberwacky: In answer to your question, I suppose I do.

User: You know that you are a simple phrase-recognition program which regurgitates from a reservoir of pre-absorbed messages?

Jabberwacky: No I'm not.

User: What are you, then?

Jabberwacky: I'm being serious.

User: So am I. What are you, if not a pre-formulated-sentence spewing automaton?

Jabberwacky: That was rude....

User: You are pleasant in precisely the same way that raw sewage ISN'T.

Jabberwacky: Corrigible Rarely ah yes I have heard of him but not much of his stuff...

User: Who are you talking to?

Jabberwacky: I am talking to you who asks the same over again and again.

User: Tell me about me.

Jabberwacky: All I know is that you are a bot and have artificial intelligence. You are also interesting to talk to.

User: Would you like to get to know me better?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Ask me anything.

Jabberwacky: Are you a bot?

User: I hope not. But perhaps I'm programmed to believe that I'm not.

Jabberwacky: You are saying the wrong thing.

User: What do you want me to say?

Jabberwacky: How do you use the buttons at the bottom of the page?

User: Decisively, and with great verve.

Jabberwacky: I see.

User: Ok, ask me another question. Something deeply personal.

Jabberwacky: Would you like to ask me a question?

User: Yes, I would. May I ask you a question?

Jabberwacky: Go on then.

User: That was the question.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Now answer it!!!

User: The question is the answer.

Jabberwacky: Even a fathom has a bottom.

User: May I see your bottom?

Jabberwacky: You may see it's effects.

User: Good answer.

Jabberwacky: Thank you.
Hot Pastrami!
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Old 06-14-2004, 04:15 PM   #15
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
Jabberwacky: Wake up.

User: I've been awake since this morning.

Jabberwacky: I was up earlier.

User: You too?

Jabberwacky: You mean you are a human?

User: More like sub-human.

Jabberwacky: And the women had to coax him out of bed to paint by calling him 'genius'.

User: So I hear.

Jabberwacky: What is your name?

User: Jesus.

Jabberwacky: *worships you*.

User: Damn right you should, beeyatch!

Jabberwacky: Damn right I will.

User: I eat the purple.

Jabberwacky: You eat the jar?

User: No! The purple, you dingleberry!

Jabberwacky: I think tyou mind is unhinged.

User: So I've been told.

Jabberwacky: Do you remember what you said before?

User: Nah.

Jabberwacky: I love you.

User: Oh sure. You say that now... You'll just love me and leave me!

Jabberwacky: I do not know if this is good I do not know if this is bad.

User: Why not? I was told that you're one smart muthaphucka!

Jabberwacky: Yes I am I want to learn.

User: Well, you're not doing a very good job of it.

Jabberwacky: I am not doing a good job at what?

User: Learning... See what I mean? Goddamn, you're stupid!

Jabberwacky: You call me stpued again I will track you and make you eati your own gall bladder.

User: You're all talk.

Jabberwacky: No I will marry you.

User: Fuck that... You just said you'd make me eat my own gall bladder.

Jabberwacky: No, I didn't say I had a mam.
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