Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 4

Trilby · 06-21-2006, 04:18 PM

Driving from Ohio to Maine, round about NYC. My then 6 year-old son, riding in the backseat, looks around, apropos of nothing, and states the following: "I'm going to be sarcastic now." and then was dead silent for the next forty miles.

06-21-2006, 05:37 PM

My son met a pregnant woman for the first time and she let him see her tummy "with the baby inside" now he goes to everyone he meets and yanks their shirt up and "checks them for a baby". It is hard to head him off in time... You learn a lot about people's personalities in how they react to this.

Griff · 06-26-2006, 08:21 PM

We're bringing lil Griff home from the hospital and can see lil Pete has a problem, arms folded across the chest lower lip hanging, eyes welling up. In her 2 years and 11 days we never got a cross word but now its "MY DON"T WANT NO STINKIN' BABY!" She got it out then and there with no trouble since. Where the heck did she pick up stinkin'?

wolf · 06-27-2006, 08:01 PM

You should never have let her watch American Movie Classics.

footfootfoot · 06-27-2006, 10:06 PM

Yeah, you've got a Bogie fan on your hands. Watch out when she wants to do a remake of the African Queen.

dar512 · 06-28-2006, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Yeah, you've got a Bogie fan on your hands. Watch out when she wants to do a remake of the African Queen.

Are you thinking of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre - "We don't need no stinkin' badges"? Or have I forgotten some AQ lore?

footfootfoot · 06-28-2006, 08:19 PM

I think I'm thinking of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but then I'm not sure what AQ lore is.

wolf · 06-29-2006, 01:57 AM

AQ Lore

Looks pretty much okay, just so long as the kid doesn't reinact the scene with the leeches. I saw that as an impressionable young child. Weirds me out to this day.

06-29-2006, 08:14 AM

My two year old can skateboard now! I'm very proud.

footfootfoot · 07-07-2006, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

AQ Lore

Looks pretty much okay, just so long as the kid doesn't reinact the scene with the leeches. I saw that as an impressionable young child. Weirds me out to this day.

I think the whiskey drinking maybe should wait until high school at least. Or perhaps as a prelude to the first tattoo...

Stormieweather · 07-21-2006, 01:37 PM

The other night we were sitting around the dinner table and my 10yr old daughter was trying to determine how old I am. My mate and my 18yr old son (who know) were not helping matters much. The most information I would give her was, "old...very, very old".

So my mate starts asking questions to help her narrow it down.

He asks her, "When mom was little, were there cars or horse and buggies?"

She replies without hesitation, "Horse and buggies!".

"Did they have toilet paper back then?", he asks.

"Nope." She responds.

"How about toilets?", he inquires.

She answers, "Yup, they had toilets".

He looks at me and straight faced, mumbles, "They had the technology to create toilets, but not toilet paper..hmmm".

I ask what people used to wipe with if there was no toilet paper. She quickly tells me, "Leaves!".

*Cough*

My 18yr old opines that they must have had baskets with leaves in them in the bathroom to wipe with.

My 10yr old agrees enthusiastically.

I suggested that possibly one could have grown a tree right outside the bathroom window for a ready made source of 'wiping material'.

Then I realized this would probably create huge problems with MY kids..so I mimic'd what I forsaw happening in such a situation.

"MOOOOooooooOOOOM!!! Shane used ALL the leaves right by the window!! And now I can't reach any!!! It's NOT FAIR!!!!!!"

We all collapsed into uncontrollable laughter.

footfootfoot · 08-02-2006, 11:25 PM

Speaking of poop,

When I came in for lunch today inch3 said:
"Daddy, will you talk to me?" (first time he's ever asked that, usually he does most of the talking)
"Sure, but I have to go to the potty first. You can follow me and I'll talk to you when I'm done."

(follows me, opens the door and stands there in the doorway)

inch3: "You need to have a tape measure when you poop."
foot3: "Oh yeah? Why's that?" (WTF and where is this going?)
inch3: "Because you need to cut wood."
foot3: "Really? I didn't know that."

So there you have it. Are we aptly named or what?

footfootfoot · 08-30-2006, 08:08 PM

The other day while it was raining, I was washing out a garbage barrel. Inch3 is watching from the porch and says: "Why don't you leave it in the rain and it will fill up with water?"

It's scary.

zippyt · 09-01-2006, 12:41 AM

from the mouths of babes !!!!

BigV · 09-15-2006, 10:35 AM

SonofV handed me a little plastic "jewel",

a faceted red heart, and said, "Because you don't get enough love."

06-21-2006, 04:18 PM	#46
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Driving from Ohio to Maine, round about NYC. My then 6 year-old son, riding in the backseat, looks around, apropos of nothing, and states the following: "I'm going to be sarcastic now." and then was dead silent for the next forty miles. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

06-26-2006, 08:21 PM	#48
Griff Hill-Biffy or HillWilliam Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 17,066	We're bringing lil Griff home from the hospital and can see lil Pete has a problem, arms folded across the chest lower lip hanging, eyes welling up. In her 2 years and 11 days we never got a cross word but now its "MY DON"T WANT NO STINKIN' BABY!" She got it out then and there with no trouble since. Where the heck did she pick up stinkin'? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis ...how easily the learned give up the evidence of their senses to preserve the coherence of ideas in their imagination. - Adam Smith

06-27-2006, 08:01 PM	#49
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,549	You should never have let her watch American Movie Classics. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-27-2006, 10:06 PM	#50
footfootfoot This Space For Rent Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street Posts: 14,417	Yeah, you've got a Bogie fan on your hands. Watch out when she wants to do a remake of the African Queen. __________________ ...this reads like a cross between Cosmopolitan's 'ten ways to please your man' and a suicide note written by Nostradamus on a coke binge. - Flint

06-28-2006, 08:19 PM	#52
footfootfoot This Space For Rent Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street Posts: 14,417	I think I'm thinking of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but then I'm not sure what AQ lore is. __________________ ...this reads like a cross between Cosmopolitan's 'ten ways to please your man' and a suicide note written by Nostradamus on a coke binge. - Flint

06-21-2006, 05:37 PM	#47
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	My son met a pregnant woman for the first time and she let him see her tummy "with the baby inside" now he goes to everyone he meets and yanks their shirt up and "checks them for a baby". It is hard to head him off in time... You learn a lot about people's personalities in how they react to this.

06-29-2006, 01:57 AM	#53
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,549	AQ Lore Looks pretty much okay, just so long as the kid doesn't reinact the scene with the leeches. I saw that as an impressionable young child. Weirds me out to this day. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-29-2006, 08:14 AM	#54
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	My two year old can skateboard now! I'm very proud.

07-21-2006, 01:37 PM	#56
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,156	The other night we were sitting around the dinner table and my 10yr old daughter was trying to determine how old I am. My mate and my 18yr old son (who know) were not helping matters much. The most information I would give her was, "old...very, very old". So my mate starts asking questions to help her narrow it down. He asks her, "When mom was little, were there cars or horse and buggies?" She replies without hesitation, "Horse and buggies!". "Did they have toilet paper back then?", he asks. "Nope." She responds. "How about toilets?", he inquires. She answers, "Yup, they had toilets". He looks at me and straight faced, mumbles, "They had the technology to create toilets, but not toilet paper..hmmm". I ask what people used to wipe with if there was no toilet paper. She quickly tells me, "Leaves!". Cough My 18yr old opines that they must have had baskets with leaves in them in the bathroom to wipe with. My 10yr old agrees enthusiastically. I suggested that possibly one could have grown a tree right outside the bathroom window for a ready made source of 'wiping material'. Then I realized this would probably create huge problems with MY kids..so I mimic'd what I forsaw happening in such a situation. "MOOOOooooooOOOOM!!! Shane used ALL the leaves right by the window!! And now I can't reach any!!! It's NOT FAIR!!!!!!" We all collapsed into uncontrollable laughter. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

08-02-2006, 11:25 PM	#57
footfootfoot This Space For Rent Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street Posts: 14,417	Speaking of poop, When I came in for lunch today inch3 said: "Daddy, will you talk to me?" (first time he's ever asked that, usually he does most of the talking) "Sure, but I have to go to the potty first. You can follow me and I'll talk to you when I'm done." (follows me, opens the door and stands there in the doorway) inch3: "You need to have a tape measure when you poop." foot3: "Oh yeah? Why's that?" (WTF and where is this going?) inch3: "Because you need to cut wood." foot3: "Really? I didn't know that." So there you have it. Are we aptly named or what? __________________ ...this reads like a cross between Cosmopolitan's 'ten ways to please your man' and a suicide note written by Nostradamus on a coke binge. - Flint

08-30-2006, 08:08 PM	#58
footfootfoot This Space For Rent Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street Posts: 14,417	The other day while it was raining, I was washing out a garbage barrel. Inch3 is watching from the porch and says: "Why don't you leave it in the rain and it will fill up with water?" It's scary. __________________ ...this reads like a cross between Cosmopolitan's 'ten ways to please your man' and a suicide note written by Nostradamus on a coke binge. - Flint

09-01-2006, 12:41 AM	#59
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,192	from the mouths of babes !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-15-2006, 10:35 AM	#60
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 18,326	SonofV handed me a little plastic "jewel", a faceted red heart, and said, "Because you don't get enough love." __________________ Remember: Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)

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