What the hell
I have been dragging ass all day; I haven't done anything I had planed and I cried for three hours.
This is starting to really get annoying
:headshake
I guess what ever it is I want it to stop.
Oh that is sad! (((hugs)))
Thanks I got some chocolate it seems to help
I don't know much about your situation, but I do know something about depression. Maybe this is an isolated or specific-cause related thing. If not-One of the hardest things to do when depressed is reach out for help. If you are not already being treated, make an appointment with a doctor or therapist as soon as you can. Exercise also helps--a lot.
I'm seeing someone for stress, but this thing is new
I really thought I was done with this depression BS, man I hope this isn't clinical, maybe it is all the death around me.
I'm telling you--stop watching/reading the news. Try a moratorium, at least for a little while.
have you considered drinking your blues away?
It isn't the news. A friend's brother died, maybe that is it... I really don't know. I wasn't closes and he was sick. Or maybe it is something else or accumulation of small things.
studding is not helping, fucking stats,
I just put my knives and sleeping pills in the closet, I don't think I'm going to do anything but I want to be on the safe side right now. I did take out one pill
I might take that in a bit.
have you considered drinking your blues away?
I just quite drinking, and smoking.
go to bed early; get some fresh air, sunshine, and exercise in the morning
I'm taking the pill, I hope there is sun tomorrow, it rain today I swear it only rains like three times a year here.
life is rough
get a helmet
Pill is kicking in, got the Pink floyd going
Good bye my sorrows, I send ye now to the blackest void never so see again. May the morning light brighten my soul with the reminder of God’s eternal love.
Ok, I woke up again. I feel better but lets see how this day unfolds.
Thanks for the support everyone. I'm would say I'm better, but I am functioning.
Functioning works, just keep functioning until you get distracted by something pleasurable, then repeat. Hopefully the pleasurables will come closer together until they become a chain, but functioning is the default, and there's no reason for life to get worse than that again. You be cool. :thumb:
The booze was a good start, cut out the Pink Floyd as well, and move it move it. Find a new normal.
Get yourself a pet if you feel that you can be responsible to it. There's nothing like a kitten or a puppy to make you laugh. An older animal can be a comfort, also. I have fought serious depression all my life, and my alternative to prozac is sitting on my lap as I type these words. My life would definitely be sadder without Miss Flicker Q. Puddy Tat!
Hope that you are feeling better.
Cats don't do much for an imbalance in your brain chemistry. I have two. They make me laugh. They had no effect when I couldn't get out of bed for days, due to real and chronic diagnosed clinical depression.
I am getting tired of this society because of it's willingness to assign symptoms of good mental health as bad ones. I see it on this board all the time. People feel guilty for having emotions now. What is with this new trend? That in itself is the sickness. Crying and venting appropriately is healthy. Please let yourself be humans. Having emotions is not a sickness in itself. Depression can be a normal human condition depending on the length of the depression. Let yourself have a right to your feelings....It's actually empowering and a great sign of a well-rounded human being to have the full range of emotional abilities. I know we want to jump to conclusions and help when people are sad, but being sad in itself is not a sickness. It is great that toran is monitoring it to see if it's lasting, and watching out for signs that it might be enduring. I believe that's responsible and a great way to handle it.
This post is to no one in particular.
Oh I agree, and I don't think the solution to "REAL" depression (not just boo de hoo I feel badly) is "get a kitty." That statement is the equivalent of "get over it."
Yes, tigerwind should monitor, should vent, should decide herself if her symptoms are lasting and need attention.
Discounting and dismissing by saying, in effect, get over it, only adds to a depressive's already mounting feelings of guilt over NOT being able to just get over it. Clinical depression is certainly not the same thing as going through a rough patch, and it's important that people keep that in mind when deciding what action to take. For me, I decided wanting to drive my car off a cliff was not a reasonable level of sadness. The stigma society places on clinical depression, and the inability for some to see the difference between some sadness and depression, is dangerous territory for the individual who is trying to determine if their feelings should be cause for alarm.
I don't believe the suggestion for a pet was a write-off. I think it was honestly intended to help. It isn't my suggestion, but I do think the motives for the suggestion were well-meant. I am more prone to write it off until it sounds serious.
Yeah, I got that much out of it.
I think defining "depression" is the issue. Many people think every time they aren't 100% happy or whatever they are depressed. There is a HUGE leap between feeling bad and being clinically depressed. Oh and get a dog instead. Dogs require more work, and take up more of your time. just sayin'
Depression sometimes hits when you quit nicotine. The best way to handle that is to eat a balanced diet regularly. Dont let you blood sugar drop.
I think defining "depression" is the issue. Many people think every time they aren't 100% happy or whatever they are depressed.
That is probably the least astute thing I have ever heard you say. But you are forgiven. ;)
And then the pharmaceutical industry noticed and marketing began.
Oh yeah, I wish they'd quit fucking marketing drugs for heart attacks and strokes and incontinence and men who can't get their dick up and diabetes and allergies and...
Really...that's the most dismissive statement on the subject to date, merc.
Oh yeah, I wish they'd quit fucking marketing drugs for heart attacks and strokes and incontinence and men who can't get their dick up and diabetes and...
Really...that's the most dismissive statement on the subject to date, merc.
It was not meant to be dismissive and you should not have taken it that way. It was an observation of marketing forces in today's society. Stop trying to twist the shit I say into something it is not.
I'm not trying to twist anything...you said it exactly as twisted as it came out. People who suffer from depression are poor little victims of the big mean pharmaceutical companies. People who suffer from depression and take medication for it are different than the millions who take drugs for other illnesses. You're perpetuating the myth, and it's dangerous to do so.
But hey, with you, as long as you get some kind of crack in about whatever entity you are pissed off at, that's all that matters right?
We all know about the tactics of the pharmaceutical industry. Take your soap box to a thread where that might be closer to the topic at hand.
It was a useless statement.
To quote a genius: fail.
I'm not trying to twist anything...you said it exactly as twisted as it came out. People who suffer from depression are poor little victims of the big mean pharmaceutical companies.
Bull shit. No such thing was stated or implied.
People who suffer from depression and take medication for it are different than the millions who take drugs for other illnesses.
No shit.
You're perpetuating the myth, and it's dangerous to do so.
More bull shit. It is not a myth that pharm markets to the population.
But hey, with you, as long as you get some kind of crack in about whatever entity you are pissed off at, that's all that matters right?
No, as I stated it was a simple observation.
We all know about the tactics of the pharmaceutical industry. Take your soap box to a thread where that might be closer to the topic at hand.
It was not a soap box statement. It was an observation.
It was a useless statement.
To quote a genius: fail.
Sure.
More bull shit. It is not a myth that pharm markets to the population.
Dumbass, I didn't say they didn't. You were perpetuating the myth that drugs for depression are only a marketing trick by the pharms, and are different than drugs for ANY OTHER ILLNESS. Maybe the pharms should keep all the meds a big secret? WTF, dude, I thought you loved you some capitalism.
You're an idiot, and I think you like being so. I hope they come up with a drug for that soon, and you too can be a poor helpless victim of the pharms.
Dumbass, I didn't say they didn't. You were perpetuating the myth that drugs for depression are only a marketing trick by the pharms, and are different than drugs for ANY OTHER ILLNESS. Maybe the pharms should keep all the meds a big secret? WTF, dude, I thought you loved you some capitalism.
You're an idiot, and I think you like being so. I hope they come up with a drug for that soon, and you too can be a poor helpless victim of the pharms.
WTF is wrong with you today. Take the stick out.
WTF is wrong with you at all? That's a comment I expect from you though: there's a stick involved because I am arguing with you.
Man, redux has you pegged.
WTF is wrong with you at all? That's a comment I expect from you though: there's a stick involved because I am arguing with you.
Man, redux has you pegged.
Redux is a partisan hack. Whatever you think.
Umm...I have had real depression. Having a dog helped me. Not because they cheer you up, so much. If anything there have been times where having a dog added to the sense that i was in some way hiding my self even from myself, most of the time. What it did, though, was put an alternative focus into my room. Not getting out of bed for 3 days wasn't an option: the dog had to be fed and walked, even if I didn't have it in me to interact with him. Anxiety at night was often alleviated somewhat by his presence in the house.
And during more stable times, he's one of the things that has helped me stave off times of depression, at least for a while longer. A pet who relies on me, is immediate and there. In my constant flight from the feeling of utter futility, his needs keep me grounded. But unlike a child, he can be more or less ignored, apart from walk and food, for a day or so without it causing massive psychological damage.
So, actually, I would advise a pet as something that might help someone living with depression.
I know my mom's been immeasurably helped by her dog in this year since my dad passed away. Much the same as Dana -- someone with needs to be met, affection to give, and who won't judge you if you spend most of the day sobbing in bed.
(And I'm with Merc. Big Pharma needs to have its advertising knocked waaay down.)
I'm considering getting getting a light therapy device. I suffer from SAD every year but usually it really kicks in around the end of January. This years it has started already and I think it is because we have had so may overcast days. Its horrible.
Thanks Dana & Pie - you both stated it better than I.
Dana:Yes. Pilau has enhanced my life as well. :) I just love that Pilau. I love his photos and his stories!
But aren't we merely assuming that Toran doesn't have a pet? Did Toran say somewhere that he doesn't have an animal?
Pets have certainly helped me with short periods of depression. Esp when I first was out of college. I got a dog and it was really great to have that kind of interaction that a dog gives humans. Cats I don't think do as good a job of interacting with people like dogs do.
That is probably the least astute thing I have ever heard you say. But you are forgiven. ;)
Well it needs to be said. There are many who just want a "happy pill" for those days when everything isn't perfect. Thats life - suck it up! Thats not depression.
Ask someone who IS depressed - they know the difference.
Now someone quote the Rolling Stones song . . . I can't find it.
I dunno. I was just making the case that even people with 'real' depression might find a pet useful.
I agree, 100%. Unless they are mean to their pet in which case I'll send Shaw over to their house. She's my new enforcer.
Seeing others bitch and moan and pull attitude does NOT help me when I am stressed.. I am sure its not helping here either.
I will not use the word depressed, because I find it overused, and many times has a huge stigma attached.
You had a bad day, or week... your mind and body started to deal with it, by crying and causing a reaction even you ( most times we do not see our own symptoms) could see.
I had a week like that last spring. I lost my mind, crying, and I cut my hair. BTW that was BIG for me, BUT it was the one thing I could control.
My suggestion is try finding one thing you CAN control each day and do that, also if the tears come, let them... they help.
Getting an animal is great, however if can cause MORE stress without trying to... what if you can't pay for food/vet, what if its a psycho kitty/dog? etc... It is a huge undertaking and one you should consider when you are feeling more like yourself. In the mean time, maybe volunteer at a shelter (with the healthy critters at least at first!!) and most definitely at a no kill place.
Perhaps join a gym, or take a a long walk (find a senior/sick person that has a dog that needs a walk and talk to it as you walk) Exercise seemed to help me, and I am not talking 2-4 hours, I am talking a 20 min walk.. something I could control and quite honestly NOT fail at. I have 2 feet and a heart beat, walking is something I can do :)
It is good that you put all your knives and pills away HOWEVER!!!!! it bothers me that you even had to mention that. Is there anyone in your circle of friends and family that you can have a heart to heart with? If not, is there anyone here, hell.... PM me I will chat with you. This is a huge warning to me that this could be more that just stress.... and most likely has been building for a while. These feelings are more often thought by people, then most people want to admit, it does NOT mean you are going to self harm or commit suicide, it means you want an easy way out for the issues at hand. The fact that you put them in a closet means you do not want to take an easy way out, and DO want to find the cause, fix it, and move on. GOOD FOR YOU!
I am very serious, PM me if you would like to, talk on here, talk to a friend, talk to a dog/plant/couch whatever... and if you feel you can not do it with those talks, then maybe find a counselor, a Dr, a therapist or someone who has training for more of your specific stressors.
You are quite right Dana. Which is why we have this:
http://www.iaadp.org/psd_tasks.htmlCic that is remarkable. I had no idea that they used dogs for that.
I wanted to reply earlier but I did not find the strength to respond, or at lest in full. It is not easy to look at the darkest times of your life. But one mustn't let the darkness consume oneself.
Jaydaan- I am seeing someone, and I have people, friends family ect. I just didn't want to be that crying call in the middle of the night. Or at lest that night.
As for the pet debate I had a pet, Fred, he was a succulent and died at the end of summer. And where I'm living right now I can not have many pets of the animal kind.
It is still a fight to get up every day but I am happy sometimes. The holidays or at lest Thanksgiving , helped.
If this is clinical depression, it must last for six months (DYSM IV) , so I can be sad or even depressed for some time before it is defined as a mental disorder.
Shawnee123 - I don't know if what I felt was unreleasable given my circumstances or not. Nor do I know if what I'm feeling right now is acceptable or not, maybe this is what I'm supposed to feel like or perhaps this is a larger existential problem that I must deal with. I'm not going to go down that path of darkness, but when I started this tread I was sure looking at it. On two random notes, one your name are you a member of the Shanwee Nation or is there another meaning to your name. And two the use of feminine pronouns when in reference to me was it just a guess or do I come off feminine in my postings?
Cicero , classic -I don't know where I fall or should fall on the range of mental wellness, but I just want to be clear that was really hurting that day and this isn't some kind of attention whoring thing
Pico and ME- I'm trying but usually fail at a good balanced diet.
Sorry if my tone is harsh I don't mean to be, but writing does lack inflection which I would use to blunt my words. (this is one of those stream on conciseness posts)
And another thing FINALS SUCK .
If this is clinical depression, it must last for six months (DYSM IV) , so I can be sad or even depressed for some time before it is defined as a mental disorder.
Remember, you don't have to wait for an official diagnosis to know you're feeling bad, and start trying to do something about it.
"Stream on conciseness", or stream of consciousness?
Either way, it sounds like you've got a handle on it, and finding a way to cope. Good for you.:thumbsup: Keep on fighting, you're worth it.
I can second the dog idea.
My dogs literally saved my life a few years ago, after my first suicide attempt and then my second. On the same day.
If not for them, I would not be here now.
They are great to talk to, ask little in return and petting an animal has been proven to be therapeutic. That's why there are therapy dogs. Maybe therapy cats. Some people need something to kick. ;)
I vote dog.
If might work if I could have a dog,
Can you get a kitten? I know the consensus here is that cats dont really help, but a kitten is a totally different story.
Tora, the last time I was in a depressive slump, I started buying books on Zen/Buddhist philosphy....it takes a while to soak in, but eventually they become very useful in guiding your thinking to something less destructive. I also bought The Feeling Good Book by Dr. David Burns.
But really, START EATING REGULAR BALANCED MEALS! Lots of lean protein with fruits and veggies. Your brain chemistry depends on it.
Exercise, a proper diet, getting out into the sun at least 25 minutes a day - these all help. I have suffered from severe depression all my life, and believe me, I feel your pain. Yes, a kitten will help and I have discovered that my full grown cats help as well. If nothing else they give you something to be responsible for, so that you hesistate before taking that oh-so-final action, If your depression has been going on for a while, please go see a doctor. There is nothing wrong with taking anti-depressants. I have been on several and am currently taking strattera
Your depression may see eternal now, but the one thing in life we can expect is change. Sooner or later the evil mood is going to lift at least a little - maybe a lot. When I was a sophmore in college, I became terribly depressed over the end of a love afair. The university had a gigantic library with 3 sub basements. I spent the entire winter in the deepest basement where all the ancient periodicals were stored. I read the stores and pretended that I lived in 1910. I do not reccomend the sub-basenebt of a library for the clinically depressed, but one day I walked out of there and spring had arrived and the sun was shining. The depression had run its course and I felt normal again.
Please, please don't choose a permanent solution to temporary problem. I have so been through the wringer with the depression. If you need advice or just a friendly person to let it all out to, please PM me. - Sam
snip~
As for the pet debate I had a pet, Fred, he was a succulent and died at the end of summer. And where I'm living right now I can not have many pets of the animal kind. ~snip
I am out off these dark woods now, thanks to my friends, both dwellers and offline people, my counselor, and God.
I have seen that paths I can take and I will never walk this one again.
Again thanks for the support.
~toranokaze BS
God that is great news. I wish you the best on your new path to freedom. Cheers.:thumb:
Good one Tora.
If you have learned to recognise the first few steps on the path to depression, and can alert yourself in time, you can train yourself to avoid it. But even with that level of awareness, it can sometimes grab you when you aren't paying attention. Don't beat yourself up about this if it ever does happen, and try to remember what worked to get you out of it in the past.
Now might be a good time to make some notes for yourself about these things, keep them somewhere out of the way but accessible for when you need them.
Carry on.
I am out off these dark woods now...
:beer:
That's really good to hear Tora :)
Tora, just be aware that these things can pass in fits and starts.
You might find yourself back down there again for a short space of time.
IF that happens - and of course I hope it doesn't - try to remember that you came out of it before and you will again.
If you have someone you can trust IRL, do tell them exactly how you feel. If not, we're here. When you're depressed or even just down, it helps to have someone who is able to monitor you objectively.
When I have bad days - or nights - it can feel like it has always been this way and that it will never get any better. Luckily I have my CPN every two weeks to remind me how far I've come. Even without a healthcare professional, I have the Cellar, where people remind me that things have improved enormously.
I know how it feels to feel like it's not worth it, and that the world is ending. And how it feels to wish it was so that you wouldn't be the only one. But as you have found this time, it does get better.
I'm not sure about the pet advice. It's true I was able to look after my cats when I couldn't even look after myself, but the conditions we were living in would have lead to them being taken away from me if someone had called the RSPCA. I doubt you're down that far, I'm responding more to the idea than the specific advice to you. Oh I dunno, I think I still feel so much guilt from that time that it's still difficult to articulate. I often dream I'm back there.
Anyway - end on a positive note. Posting in the Cellar about things you are going through is a positive sign. It's not complaining, it's not looking for sympathy. It might not quite be catharsis, but it is acknowledging a situation.
I really wish the very best for you - keep going.
Just adding my good wishes to the pile ... perhaps keep a link to this thread somewhere as part of an emergency kit? Meanwhile, glad to hear that things are so much better.
Festive hugs to you!
I just read every word of this entire post. I'm gonna go masturbate.