Cellar Resolution: Expansion of the Character Limit on Titles
Cellar Resolution 1 (or insert appropriate number here)
As a member/delegate to the Cellar, I hereby ask the Cellar Security Council to expand the character limit on titles from 25 to at least 45. I hereby submit to the Security Council that:
--One of the built-in titles is approximately 43 characters (Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table)
--My creativity has been stymied by this system, as I am constantly forced to reconfigure my clever titles. Many of these original titles were in the 30-40 character range, but had to be trimmed to conform to the rigid 25 character limit.
--I have been a faithful poster and contributor to this community for over 2 years, and only submit this resolution in order to better the community.
Submitted to the Cellar Security Council on this day, the 7th of March 2003 in the City and County of Philadelphia, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
Sycamore
Self-proclaimed Oddball
Head Nigga in Charge, The Sycamore Manifestos
Member/delegate to Cellar Mk V
The resolution has been introduced, the next step is the beginning of debate.
I will make this happen with or without the approval of the Cellar Security Council. Those that oppose are still friends. But this title limit is a cancer...and the Cellar is playing a charade with us on this. We are approaching the end of diplomacy, therefore, the CSC has until March 17 to act on this.
Whoa...wha? Oh...sorry...I felt some sort of force controlling me there for a minute. Carry on.
We have considered this demand, and we will now increase the size of the user title by one character.
We expect that this will indicate a "promising new willlingness" to consider the matter of title sizes.
What we are looking for here is expansion. We don't want to go to war. But if we have to, there's going to be a regime change.
We assure you that you do not want to test our biological weaponry, the precursor chemicals of which include Molson Export, the highest grade available from our Canadian partners.
We also have nerve agents from British Columbia.
Our intelligence sources say that you are lying. You have material known as Molson XXX, which is apparently available at the US-Canadian border. Its alcohol content is over 7%...well above the limit set after the previous war.
It's time to expand. If you will not expand the character limit, we will lead a coalition into the Cellar to expand the limit. It's time to expand. There is no other choice. Husshepps must expand.
Our response will be by courier. Look for a basic black briefcase with non-metallic handle and clasps at a nearby street corner. Do not touch it directly. Allah'ho ackbar.
(Actually I've just upped the limit)
I would propose that the limit be based on your waist size in inches... mine's 38
In that case, Syc, looks like you get your wish!
haw haw haw
Originally posted by Undertoad
We also have nerve agents from British Columbia.
Watch out friend, some of our nerves are going shot right now!
Originally posted by Undertoad
haw haw haw
*smack!*
Actually, it's right about at my waist size...good deal!
What? No more negotiations? This is an outrage!! The Republic of Juju will not stand for The Sycamore throwing his weight around as such. We urge the council to consider a 3-day extension before any rash decisions are made.
That's it bitch! I'm cutting off all aid to your country and am expelling your diplomatic representative from the Constitutional Monarchy of Sycamoreland. All your bank accounts are now frozen. Besides, you have a population boom to deal with back home, and I won't think twice about a pre-emptive strike. Your people aren't smart, but you have technology that I would like to have as my own.
Besides, 3S (that's the Sycamoreland Security Service...Sycamoreland's version of the NSA) has got the CSC all taken care of...we have every move, every conversation, every empty box of Krispy Kremes under intense surveillance.
Don't think we don't have the same in your own land...
The Extremely Independent Republic of Wolfslovakia feels that creative expression on The Cellar is extremely limited by the inability to select user icons or avatars, and also feels that the downtrodden peoples need more emoticons, which would be in our grasp but for the greed of the Constitutional Monarchy of Sycamoreland to flout its level conspicuous consumption by demanding a charlength equal to that of it's representative's capacious waistband.
Typical Sycamorian arrogance. Look, the Cellar does not revolve around you! You're not the Internet's policeman! And don't think we could not collectively kick your ass. Sit down and shut the fuck up. And mind your own damned business. 45 character limit indeed! Learn to be economical with your words, fer chrissakes! Blah, blah blah, that's all you fucking do is talk, isn't it! Buy a damned dictionary. Learn some new words. Sometimes (stay with me here, it gets a bit complicated), sometimes, you can say more with less.
Also, I think you'll be interested to know that I've been developing a device that will allow me lob new threads directly into your forum. Don't think I'm not afraid to use it!
Oh hell no...I will use my veto to block any use of avatars or user icons. You want that crap, you can head over to El Saano. And you too have technology that would please the Sicómoros.
And I said close, damnit.
By the way, I think we all know this is a slippery slope. Before you know it, Sycamore will be asking for 55 characters. Then 60! Then 100! And then what? 1000? Where does it end, Sycamore? If you had your way, we'd all be writing our complete posts in the title area.
You silly Jujubes...I am the last superpower...now fetch me a beer, bitch! Before I make you and your people my personal servants!
The sun never sets on the Sycamore Empire.
Originally posted by juju
By the way, I think we all know this is a slippery slope. Before you know it, Sycamore will be asking for 55 characters. Then 60! Then 100! And then what? 1000? Where does it end, Sycamore? If you had your way, we'd all be writing our complete posts in the title area.
Actually, I was thinking more of a power grab. Like that majestic site...I want a special color noting me as a person of superiority. That way I can distinguish myself from the wretched jujubes.
where did the jujubes get the ability to underline and boldface their name on the user online list, I wonder?? Has there been some secret deal struck?
Bolding is for pussies...I have a cloaking device.
Wolf, it means I'm important. Someday, you may be important, too. :)
It means you are easier to watch.
Juju's absolutely right. It means he is a very important dork...the equivalent of having diplomatic plates on his car.
I don't need that...I just roll up in my Hummer limo, throw a $20 at the valet and say, "Park it, ya puke!"
That, or I take the 4 train to Grand Central...because I am a man of the people.
People, please, don't hate me because I'm important. I was born cool. I just can't help it! Holding genetics against me just isn't fair.
Okay, actually, it's just bold because I'm the moderator of a forum. I don't think I could turn it off if I wanted to.
Originally posted by juju
Okay, actually, it's just bold because I'm the moderator of a forum. I don't think I could turn it off if I wanted to.
Sure you can...use the cloaking device.
Hey, I've got nothing to hide. So, privacy-schmivacy! What're people going to do? Accuse me of reading the Cellar? :)
Besides, I think it's neat to be able to know when people are on at the same time as you. It's like we're all actively engaged in some group activity. All reading the Cellar at the same time. It's kind of a bonding experience if you ask me.
No one needs to know when I am on here...yo soy la sombra.
Besides, someone like you should be waiting for posts from me...they're like little Xmas presents for you.
I'm considering shocking everybody by bringing out the ANSI character art, a weapon that you all thought was obsolete and useless.
Originally posted by SteveDallas
I'm considering shocking everybody by bringing out the ANSI character art, a weapon that you all thought was obsolete and useless.
THAT VIOLATES THE TERMS OF THE GENEVA CONVENTION, DAMMIT!!!
T$, a real artist uses the limitatations of the form to his advantage. If only tw were here we could filibuster this unAmerican idea of yours.
I suggest you shut your mouth and form an alliance with me. Or I will be forced to send troops to Griffington to take over your egg production.
Tw would be very useful to Sycamoreland as a propaganda specialist.
Daveland backs Husshepps, because Husshepps has all the real power, and because T-$ stinks.
I wonder if the Sycamorons are satisfied with the expansion granted by Husshepps ... I doubt it you ... give 'em an inch, they'll want the whole column.
Yeah. He needs it for his "creativity". Like he has any..
Originally posted by sycamore
I suggest you shut your mouth and form an alliance with me. Or I will be forced to send troops to Griffington to take over your egg production.
Just you try it boy. Whats good for the goose...
Originally posted by dave
Daveland backs Husshepps, because Husshepps has all the real power, and because T-$ stinks.
*hearty laugh*
You silly yet sad man-child! The powers that be at Sycamoreland know a primary weakness of the CSC...a glowing beacon that lies about 5 miles southwest of the Palatial Estate. The proximity of Sycamoreland to the CSC fortress (roughly 40 miles) makes it that much easier to exploit with said beacon.
The establishment at Sycamoreland is currently pleased with the current operations of the CSC, though we will strongly assert our position to any future changes deemed necessary.
You silly Jujube! El sicómoro is so creative, he reeks of it. Meanwhile, you reek as well...but of ass.
Ah, Señor Griff. You will be the (un)fortunate recipient of the first Sycamoreland Uneducation Camp.
Okay, so when are you going to bitch about not having 55 characters, bitch?
Quoth the Sycamore:
Ah, Señor Griff. You will be the (un)fortunate recipient of the first Sycamoreland Uneducation Camp.
So, that's what? A standard US public school? I think Griff can handle it. Even if there are more guns floating around in those places than at an average gun show. Alot of us got through and learned the three R's: Redundancy, Repitition and Redundancy.
Originally posted by juju
Okay, so when are you going to bitch about not having 55 characters, bitch?
El sicómoro is happy with 45 characters. You, on the other hand, still smell like ass.
Whit, you are confusing uneducation with undereducation, which I imagine is what occurs in many public schools, particularly in the world of the Jujubes. Think of the end of the John Singleton movie "Higher Learning": Unlearn.
Originally posted by wolf
Sycamorons
Damnit...I just noticed this. The proper term is "sicómoros" (pronounced si-KO-mo-ROES), you moron.
Now you see, this sort of thing is EXACTLY why the Constitutional Monarchy of Sycamoreland must exert such control--er, influence, over the CSC.
Think of the end of the John Singleton movie "Higher Learning": Unlearn
Don't you mean Yoda, in "The Empire Strikes Back?" Get your references straight.
No, dipshit...the end of "Higher Learning."
Now you see, this is EXACTLY why we need to reeducate--er, uneducate members of the CSC.
I got a diseducation the first go round so an uneducation should square me right up. Griff is thinkin, whats one more pistol more er less in a public miseducatin' camp, count me in.
No, dipshit...the end of "Higher Learning."
Yer off the plantation maroon, gotta be thinking of High Times, where Spicoli finally assembles a useable frame of historical reference. This is gonna be one hell of an administration, what with yer cinematic illiteracy.
Goddamnit, go rent the movie, ya putz! Ice Cube, Michael Rappaport, Omar Epps, Kristy Swanson, Tyra Banks. Good flick...my favorite John Singleton flick.
Wait, what movie is this? Also shouldn't movie talk be in the entertainment section? If it's a cheap buy I already started a thread this would go in nicely.
By the by, what does this have to do with the Sycamoron's? And why do you need 55 characters now?
Originally posted by Whit
Wait, what movie is this?
The movie is called "Higher Learning." It's a John Singleton movie (the new "Shaft," "Boyz N' the Hood").
Also shouldn't movie talk be in the entertainment section? If it's a cheap buy I already started a thread this would go in nicely.
Oh! So now you want to be a thread Nazi! You wish to impose your fascist system upon us! I bet you treat your people the same way! We must liberate the Whittlesticks and the Jujubes! I propose a resolution where you have until March 17 to change your ways! Or else I will lead a coalition...
And why do you need 55 characters now?
You will not attempt to smear the good name of the sicómoros. The evil Jujubes started this insane rumor. Our troops are already marching towards Fayetteville as I type this.
And only a moment ago those troops were headed the other direction, towards Griffington. At this rate your bunch are going to use up your EZ-Pass before you see any battle.
Griffington and Sycamoreland signed a treaty of non-aggression. I just did all that threatening to get him to give me economic aid (i.e. cheap eggs)...just like North Korea. But I can fight a war on many fronts, and look good doing it...just like the United States.
May I offer the CSC a Krispy Kreme? Come towards the beacon...
Oh, and we wouldn't use much on the E-Z Pass. I know my way around the DE Tpk., and there's no toll going south on 95 over the Susquehanna. That just leaves the Fort McHenry Tunnel in Baltimore. The rest is all free roads from there.
And we could move our troops towards Griffington along the scenic route (611 to Tobyhanna, then I-380 towards Scranton).
Our troops are already marching towards Fayetteville as I type this.
Your troops are lost, between the large number of strip joints and the heavily armed red necks that live in the hills around the city your men shall not return. Trust me, alot of those rednecks are better shots than your average sniper, and they know the land.
"Higher Learning" Sounds familiar, have you mentioned it somewhere before?
Jujubes is evil? Damn... I was hoping to get him to do some work on my compuer...
You will not attempt to smear the good name of the sicómoros.
Don't you mean 'silly' name? Oh and as for the people in my land... Well, there's a pic of my neighbors umm... area... in Quality Images under More Cold Stuff. Or here, let me try this.
http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2971
It is a very happy place. With plenty of room for your people, if I may say so.
So let's hear some of these genius-inspired titles that absolutely, positively couldn't be reduced below 45 characters. Yes, this ought to be good. Creativity, indeed! Ha ha ha! Hey, maybe we can even teach you the value of brevity, you long-winded twit.
Originally posted by sycamore
Oh, and we wouldn't use much on the E-Z Pass.
"Does anybody got a dime?"
mumble mumble
"Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes."
Juju has a good point. Although I just noticed that he hasn't yet wowed us with the titles that would take 45 spaces yet. Hmm... Maybe he just wanted to prove he could get his way?
Originally posted by sycamore
Damnit...I just noticed this.
:D
I wondered how long it was going to take you ...
The proper term is "sicómoros" (pronounced si-KO-mo-ROES), you moron.
Personally, I prefer the traditional psychiatric designation of "feeblemind." I miss the old terms. Hebephrenia just trips off the tongue, you know ... like folie a deux ... El Sicómor, of course, suffers from folie a un. Can't even get one other person to share in his delusion of grandeur. Of course, His Eminence probably prefers it that way ...
That's okay Wolf, I think you can rest assured that your 'Sicamorons' title will be around for a long, long time. It's just about perfect, good sound to the word, and it past the subtlety test. Just a downright nice feel to it. Congrats on this new Cellar-word... or is it a contraction?
There aren't any apostrophes to indicate that there are letters missing so it can't be a contraction.
Neologism is what we'd call it at the nuthouse ... forming new words.
Don't forget Whit, I am familiar with that part of the country...I grew up not far from it. Strip clubs? Shit, we'll capture them and take them on the road. I laugh at your feebleness!
Juju, the first thing I will do upon arriving in Fayetteville is snatch your coat and burn it. Then replace all the OS's on your computers with Windows 3.1. Later, we'll steal your computers and replace them with Packard Bells. Nah, fuck that...you're getting Commodore PETs.
Wolf, it's my world, you just live in it.
If this thread has not proven my creativity, nothing will. :)
FYI, Windows 3.1 is not an operating system, but an operating shell. The GUI to the OS. So it's kind of impossible to replace other OS's with Windows 3.1.
Shows what your faction knows.
Does it really matter when he's going to get a PET in the end?
Does it?
Huh? Does it?
Trying to dance around, mis-directing the questioning so it looks like you're intelligent.
You intimidate me like a bunny intimidates a rock python.
Feh, Sycamore you show your ignorace of the area. The number of strip clubs in Fayetteville has been growing and there will soon be a strip club for every ten college girls. (Actually it's kinda creepy) Between them there is enough seating for all of your forces, so make sure you pay your men in dollar bills...
At least the lucky portion of your men will fall pray to such. For those that go into the hills I suggest you show them "Deliverance" as a training film so they will know what is expected of them. They will also not return, but the dollars are not so important.
Even if you were to have some special forces that managed not to fall pray to these pitfalls any travel further south would lead them into the religious and depression zones. In these areas the churches are open every night except Thursday and the bars stay open 'till five in the morning. Even more sadly is the fact that this is not an exaggeration. Do not send your troops if you wish to see them again. Also, we don't need anymore people looking for jobs around here at the current time.
If you need more convincing perhaps I could direct you to a newspaper article in which police with cadaver dogs find bodies buried in the woods, and say that it might be foul play.
For the record the stuff about the churches, the bars and the bodies is all true.
Originally posted by sycamore
Griffington and Sycamoreland signed a treaty of non-aggression.
The free people of Grifftopia never gave such powers to any entity. Somebody ran a con on you son. I hope you didn't give anyone access to your savings account.
His "coalition" crumbling, it's obvious to see that the real power lies with The Commission.
That's more because of our control of the Massive Ordinance Air Blast which, it is said, can be heard from miles away and has a devastating effect on enemy forces.
Experts are uncertain whether it's chemical or biological, but our enemies should be aware that we are developing a version that is silent, but just as deadly.
Having just had a very large salad with plenty of beans and eggs on it, I can say that my MOAB will be <b>very</b> deadly - albeit not quite silent.
Dave failed to answer the question posed. Therefore, I can only assume that he chooses not to look at the big picture. A shame, really...though sadly, I am not surprised by his despicable utterance.
Griff, I know, I know...you're just lashing out because you're angry. I don't blame you.
You see, what Griff has failed to mention is that we stormed Griffington yesterday. We began by setting his land on fire. His folks put up one hell of a fight, but then we stormed the estate and began to drink up all the liquor and Yerba Mate.
At this moment, Griff fell prostrate and cried, "Kind, noble, and generous Sycamore! Please spare my liquor cabinet and Yerba Mate!"
I felt sorry for him, to be honest. So I said, "Griff, you're a good guy. All I really want is to kill a couple of chickens so we can fry 'em up. Oh, and sign this non-aggression treaty."
He complied, though I could see the bitterness in his eyes.
We're still gonna take all those strip clubs on the road. That, or we'll make Fayetteville a "resort" town.
(On a serious note, Whit, I'm very familiar with those types. All those wackos start appearing just south of St. Louis...and it all goes downhill from there.)
Nevertheless, our forces will make the rednecks cry for their sister-wives.
MOAB...whatever. I know the brown noise.
*sigh* In his desperation he cuts friend and foe alike.
Had a Geo Metro somehow infiltrated the land of milk and humvees, you'd still have the earlier mentioned problem. With no formal government nobody can sign any non-aggression pacts, although we do hold with the nonaggression principle. We have no loyalty to Whitaska or Sycamorovia but we welcome your trade. We do have the eggs, but they are not bound to any basket. Do not come expecting to topple that which does not exist. As methane is a major by-product of our industry, I would suggest you refocus your ambition.
Look, you wanna stick with that commune-type story, fine by me. ;)
We're groovey with whatever communitarian lifestye you want to pull out as long as its voluntary.
Originally posted by sycamore
Does it really matter when he's going to get a PET in the end?
Does it?
Huh? Does it?
Depends ... PET, or SuperPET?