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Clodfobble 11-11-2011 08:11 AM

The threatening behaviors is plenty enough to get him involuntarily committed for a few days. Maybe over the Thanksgiving break so he doesn't miss any school? :) They'll get him on meds against his will. Maybe once he's on them, he'll see the light and stay on them.

Griff 11-11-2011 08:32 AM

wolf is probably up to speed on the process for getting him temporarily committed.

infinite monkey 11-11-2011 12:53 PM

Geez Bri. I don't know what to say, except to agree with what others have said here. Keep yourself safe, and do what it takes to make him get help. You're between a rock and a hard place. I'm thinking of you. :(

Sundae 11-11-2011 02:58 PM

Bri, my feelings are pretty much entirely for you.
But being outside the situation I can only counter that you are dealing with a young man with problems.
If he was deaf you wouldn't shout at him.
If he was blind you wouldn't be mad if he couldn't find his way out of a room.

Living with a young man with any problem must be bloody hard, and I'm not criticising you.

Clod will have the best advice. That comment stands alone. But apart from her huge, benevolent brain, she also lives with two children with behavioural issues (as far as general society is concerned). She knows the difference between catering to a specific need and giving in, and how to choose your battles.

Despite waffling on above, I really can't offer any help.
I just send my love and hope there are better times for you and your lad.

ZenGum 11-11-2011 05:27 PM

Griff is very smart.

Wolf, ever thought of visiting Brianna for a week?

fargon 11-11-2011 05:54 PM


Originally Posted by monster (Post 771952)
Frankly, I think you need to evict him. But I'm a harsh bitch and I've never been in your situation. Change the locks while he's out, leave his stuff on the porch with a note that says "I love you but I have to do this for both of us. When you've seen a doctor and got some medication to help then we can discuss further" and call the police if he gets violent. You have to put yourself and your personal safety first. You're no help to him in hospital/the morgue.

Bri, monster has the rite idea. It may be hard but you need peace and sanity in your life.

Trilby 11-12-2011 07:00 AM

thanks, everyone,for your thoughts and suggestions.

I will have to do something but I will do it calmly and rationally and I won't raise my voice (I never raise my voice anyway - it's just not how I do battle)

we'll see. but, again, thanks.

Trilby 11-15-2011 08:23 AM

Ok. Kid is (naturally) no better. I think he's getting worse. Why wouldn't he get worse? He's not being treated for a disease. Untreated diseases get worse.

There is a frosty detente in the air. I try not to bother him, he tries not to bother me. But, being the mother, I am bothered. I pick up the slack.

I'm going to go to Al-anon. I know I am responsible for my own feelings. He cannot "make" me feel any certain way.

On a purely practical level - my car still dead. We changed the alternator. Still no go.

OTOH - I watched a show about some people in Appalachia. It's not that bad here.


Pico and ME 11-15-2011 08:46 AM

Get him a book on ocd.

Aliantha 11-28-2011 03:58 AM

This convo.

hello trish

2 hours agoTrish Williams
Hi Lagi

2 hours agoKalani [deleted]
kal was asking if we can book the boys ticket on the 13 and come back for new years there..

2 hours agoTrish Williams
I had Christmas dinner planned with them for the 16th and they are supposed to see their Aunty on the 17th. Maybe in the evening on the 17th if possible?
I will talk to the kids. What day were you planning on sending them back?

2 hours agoKalani [deleted]
kal said you didnt tell us earlier about your plansas we already plan for the boys to come over any day before christamas.. now you are telling us we dont know what to do now...

thats what kal said trish sorry but i just have to let you know that

2 hours agoTrish Williams
Better put him in front of the computer. What I'm about to say might not turn out too nice.
Originally it was from the 20th of December to the 5th of January. Those are the dates I've been working around and so have the kids, including Aden who has a job and has already organised the time off for between those dates. Just because you've once again decided you want to change the plan ie. send them home before new year, don't try and put the blame on me.

about an hour agoTrish Williams
I've been very patient with this sort of bullshit from you for years and I'm pretty sick of it. If you want to be an arsehole about it, they can just stay home. They both seem to think the onus is on you to come and visit them anyway, so they'd be just as happy not to have to leave here over Christmas.

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
thats fine put on the boys now i want to talk to them

about an hour agoTrish Williams
Aden is at work, so you can talk to him later. He'll be home after 7pm our time.
Mav will be here in a minute
it's mav on mum's account now

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
this dad how are you

about an hour agoTrish Williams
i'm good thanks, how are you?

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
im fine do you know the situation of your coming over now

about an hour agoTrish Williams
yeah, mum showed me

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
so how do you feel about it?

about an hour agoTrish Williams
i don't know

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
get on skype i will call you now

about an hour agoTrish Williams
i don't have one. it's adens one that we used and i don't know what it's called
You missed a call from Kalani.about an hour ago

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
i called you

about an hour agoTrish Williams
its not working
it's not working

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
the thing is you got alll time and days with trish and this one time i ask for you and aden to come over

about an hour agoTrish Williams
i know that, but i just don't want to leave so early, and Aden has to work anyway.

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
is there any reason why you donot want to come early? at least you get to spend some times with me n ur sister

about an hour agoTrish Williams
i just have plans with my friends and that and I don't want to fly over without aden and he can't go till the 20th because he has to work

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
ok then i shall cal you and aden on skype then when aden comes home.

about an hour agoTrish Williams
This is Trish. Do you not get that Aden has organised to work until the 19th?
Because that was the date you and the boys agreed on weeks ago.

about an hour agoKalani [deleted]
just tell your mother to watch her mouth bcause she is talking on my wifes account and that is disrespect

about an hour agoTrish Williams
Fuck you Kal. Don't be an idiot all your life. These boys are old enough to make their own decisions and they don't need to be bullied by you, and nor do I. I'm not afraid of you.

Griff 11-28-2011 09:15 AM


glatt 11-28-2011 09:46 AM

I deleted the last name of your ex-husband's wife from your post above. It just doesn't seem right to be posting someone else's personal information like that. I hope you understand. (If you want me to delete your real name, just let me know, and I'll do that too.)

More on topic, I'm sorry you have to deal with such a jerk of an ex.

Clodfobble 11-28-2011 10:12 AM

Damn it, I'm sorry to hear about so many unreliable and immature ex's on the cellar today. Sorry Ali. You're right to let the boys make their own decisions. They're old enough to know that their dad is being a douche.

SamIam 11-28-2011 11:42 AM

I don't exactly understand who all the players are, but the other side sounds as though they are being very unreasonable. Sorry they are making your Christmas plans so difficult, Ali.

glatt 11-28-2011 11:52 AM


Originally Posted by SamIam (Post 776185)
I don't exactly understand who all the players are

Yeah, me either.

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