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-   -   My Kid is a Damn Nutter (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=18924)

jinx 05-05-2009 12:51 PM

The spanish rice looks really good Clob. If your boy likes mexican so much, maybe he would like the nachos we make - although most people just think they're weird. Basically they're corn chips topped with refried beans (or canned pintos cooked in salsa until you can mush them a little) and cooked winter sqaush. I buy the frozen bricks of squash and cook them down in a little water or chix broth. If I'm not adding a bunch of other veggies (mushrooms, peppers, avocados etc) I put a litte sugar and cinnamon in the squash and then sprinkle more cinnamon over it before I pop in the broiler to crisp it all up.

Clodfobble 05-05-2009 03:49 PM

Thanks! Yeah, his one favorite meal that survived the shift is refried beans on corn tostadas. (He still calls them "beans and cheese" even though there hasn't been cheese on them for months.) I'll have to try the squash mixture--although I'll probably have to sell him on it as a "cheese dip" at first. :) I also read somewhere that one woman uses spaghetti squash (the kind that you tear out of the shell with a fork and it separates into these little strands like spaghetti) as the "cheese" on her kid's pizza. Another said she used grated polenta.

Clodfobble 05-05-2009 07:11 PM

Recently I've had to take some serious steps back to evaluate myself in all this. Since January I've lost 15 pounds, a combination of stress and not having the energy to find stuff to feed myself on this stupid diet. It's at the point where Mr. Clod has officially stated that I could stand to gain some weight back. I have also undone thousands of dollars of childhood orthodontic work, as my nighttime teeth-grinding has finally resulted in my jaw slipping back to wherever it was before they did that whole metal contraption in my mouth that repositioned it--so now my jaw clicks again, whenever I move it around. And a couple of weeks ago, I had a severe dizzy spell that lasted over two hours and finally resulted in my calling the paramedics because I was by myself with the kids and was really sure I was going to pass out. The paramedics couldn't find anything wrong, and their continued questioning about something that might have caused a "panic attack" well and truly pissed me off, because that particular week happened to be the freaking pinnacle of Minifob's entire existence, the best days he'd ever had. It wasn't a fucking panic attack, I was dizzy. When Mr. Clod got there, he insisted on taking me to the hospital to have basic tests run, because he personally was convinced it was a nutritional deficiency, but everything checked out okay.

But then I started thinking about it... you know how when you're working really hard on a project, you go and go and go and when you finally get a vacation, you suddenly get sick as a dog? I think that's kind of what happened, because that week really had been so good, everything was coming together and I had just begun feeling genuinely optimistic that he might have a full recovery within another year or two. But obviously there's a lot of work to do yet, and the paramedic episode forced me to recognize that I can't sustain this level of stress for that long.

So I've been working really hard on getting things off my plate, identifying which things I can safely refuse to even look at. We need to replace one of our cars in the very near future, and I have completely abdicated that task. Mr. Clod knows our budget, and he'll show me the final car before he signs, but I'm not allowing myself to spend even one minute on used car searching. And I told him to tell his mother that I simply will not discuss the question of Minifob going to stay with her in the summer of 2010 until my calendar actually says it is 2010. I'm still looking for other things to get rid of, but right now it looks like the best I can do is thwart anything new coming my way.

Beestie 05-05-2009 07:25 PM

There's a reason they tell parents to put on the oxygen mask first.

I think what happens is that during periods of high stress, your body goes into overdrive to keep you going and neglects some of its own basic ongoing needs - sort of like [/Star Trek] diverting power from life-support to power the shields [/Trek]. When the stress is relieved, your body then goes back to normal but normal is now compromised and the piper must be paid.

I think cutting back and remembering who the captain is is a good start.

You are doing a good job and are wise to do periodic checks to make sure all the goals are in the right order and receiving the proper allocation of resources.

monster 05-05-2009 09:12 PM

Oh, Clodfobble, do not wobble
when you're busy, and get dizzy
some chocolate you must gobble

Don't neglect your awesome self
don't waste away, or turn all gray
Minifob needs you in decent health

That's probab;y the worst pseudo poem I ever written. It's quality is not a reflection of yours. perhaps your awesomeness is so powerful it sucks awesome from poetry written about you?

dr monster agrees with beestie that you are doing the right thing, and prescribes chocolate (eaten in secret) and much silliness in public. trust me on this.

Beestie 05-05-2009 09:47 PM

I may just have to up and send some prescription-strength Beestie Balls to House of Clod to aid in the replenishment of parental strength.

They're chocolate-covered, you know. And they have just enough elixir to get the job done.

Pie 05-05-2009 10:12 PM

I really feel for you, Clod.

After my father's transplant and death last June, I similarly reached a stage where I . could . not . cope . with . one . more . thing.
Unfortunately, that 'one more thing' was my mother's own anger and depression. It's taken months for me to get back to a frame of mind where I can .swallow. my own bitterness and anger and try to help her.

Burnout is a terrible thing. You are a wise woman to recognize it for what it is, and to get help.

xoxoxoBruce 05-06-2009 01:15 AM

Clod, you have done, and are doing, a fantastic job. The problem is you're too smart. You know there is more information out there, there will always be more information out there, but you'll never be able to assimilate it all, so don't make yourself crazy/sick trying.

Deep down you know you're winning, you've got a handle on it now. So let the whole family get used to the routine... and then you can progress at a saner pace for a bit.

Maybe it's our fault too. We love you and want to give you all the support and encouragement need, but don't let us push you into thinking you can fly, OK?


No reason you can't sneak a Hershey bar when they ain't looking. ;)

Clodfobble 05-06-2009 09:42 AM

Ah, see, but actually, milk chocolate has milk in it, and I'm still staying GFCF myself until I can wean Minifobette because it has noticeable effects on her. I take your point, though. Rice Divine makes a dairy-free ice cream with dark chocolate and coffee beans. :)

LabRat 05-06-2009 11:39 AM

Hopefully some of your family and friends that you mentioned pointing this thread out to will be able to give you a helping hand as needed. ::cough:: ;) You are definitely doing the right thing (as usual :D) focusing on what can be put off. One of the most important things the Fobblets need is a healthy mom, so t's OK to let things slide occasionally. You aren't being a 'bad' mom/wife/friend/family member. By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of all of them.

My heart goes out to you, but really I wish there was something more tangable I could do for you.

monster 05-06-2009 08:23 PM

you need a massage. a professional one,including facial. Mother's day is coming up. just sayin'

Clodfobble 05-07-2009 03:19 PM

I am totally pumped about today.

First off, Minifob woke up with a dry diaper, which he's never done before, so potty-training might not be as far out in our distant future as I had thought. Then, we went to our first outing with a local playgroup I joined. His therapist agreed that it was really time to start pushing him on the socialization with kids his age, now that he can be taken to new places pretty reliably (as long as they're kid-safe places to begin with, and not china shops. :)) He did an awesome job--didn't outright acknowledge any of the other kids, but played happily alongside them with only the barest of sharing issues, and left peaceably when it was time to go. And I got along great with the mothers I got a chance to talk to--one woman did seem a little freaked when I told her Minifob was autistic, like maybe it was contagious, but the rest of them were open and interested. And one of them... well, her boy is only 17 months, but I'm telling you now, he's autistic. I didn't say anything specific to her about it, but I can tell she already suspects something anyway. She was very interested in my conversation with another mother about what Minifob was like when he was younger (i.e., not displaying any of the "classic" symptoms they tell you to look for on the PSAs, but all the weird things he did do,) and what we were doing to treat him now. Not that I would wish this on anyone else, but it's nice to feel like you might be able to help out someone in the same boat.

And now, the little dude is taking a nap. Joy! I already rescheduled his therapy appointment next week so that we can make it to another playdate near us.

Queen of the Ryche 05-07-2009 03:38 PM

Wow Clod. That is so awesome. It must feel absolutely amazing to get out and do "normal" things with him. And like you said - the possibility of helping others through your experience - bet you didn't go there with that in mind! Next time he takes a nap, I'll send juju your way that it will coincide with Fobette, so you can take one too =)

DanaC 05-07-2009 03:57 PM

Sounds like a fun day was had by all Clod. *smiles* Like Queeny says, must be nice to do the normal stuff :P When a little'un has an illness/condition/special needs, it can take over a little, especially when the diagnosis is pretty fresh. Can be hard work not letting that become their 'identity', especially around other people. You sound like you're handling it so brilliantly though. Kid'll do great with parents like you.

LabRat 05-07-2009 04:03 PM

That.

Rocks.

In too many ways to count. Congratulations on how far you've all come.


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