DanaC |
08-17-2007 08:38 PM |
Warning: Long
In my life I have lost touch with people, friends, acquaintances. A few I think about from time to time. Of all of them, the one I really regret was a friend from school, my teenage best mate.
We stayed friends, despite differences, arguments, fall outs between partner and friend etc. Things drifted though, we just didn't seem to relate to each other the same and were moving in different circles. We lost touch...and then a couple of years later I left our hometown and moved to the village I'm in now.
Another few years go by and out the blue she gets in touch. She'd phoned the house I lived in as a kid, spoke to Dad and got my address. We met up and it was nice, but both of us were in the midst of a bunch of emotional shit and we didn't maintain it. A couple of letters exchanged, then I lost her address. Another house move for each of us. Changed phone numbers all round.
Since I last saw her, about eight years ago, I've changed and so has my life. I'm no longer with my ex, I live alone, I'm at uni, I'm reasonably content (most of the time, the last two months notwithstanding:P) and moving forward.
Every so often, I think about her. I have made a few little attempts to find her. Looked online and phoned a few people, tried to find either her or her mum. I don't mean I've been searching y'know, but from time to time a thought'll occur and i'll take a looksee.
S'been a while since I tried. See, I don't even know her name now. Don't know if she's with the same guy (they were rocky last i knew) or with someone else, living together or married, living alone? a mum? I have no idea. Is she even still alive? The last time I saw her she'd had to go in for an op to remove pre cancerous cells.
This evening, quite unexpectedly checked my email and was told someone had poked me on facebook. I didn't even think, I just followed the link and there she was. Smiling out of a profile picture. Different surname y'see, that's why it didn't click.
How cool is that? She's not online right now, as it's silly o'clock over here, but I sent a friend request and a message.
It's funny. Last time me and her talked, my ex and I were making a go of it and things were quite peaceful. I was doing a good job of convincing myself I was happy. That was just before my life descended into chaos, confusion and unhappiness. I couldn't talk to the people who were around me. My best friend here was the partner I was falling out of love with. I used to imagine I was telling my mate stuff. Like I was planning out a letter in my head. And yeah, part of that was me longing for the simplicity of being a kid again, but part of it was that I missed a friendship that had meant so much to me as a kid, and yet I treated so lightly when I got involved with my man...there I was with that same man but everything falling apart and me thinking, I pretty much ditched my best friend.
Anyway...There y'go. She got in touch and I am very happy about it.
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