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Sundae 11-09-2008 07:21 PM

Just found out that the General Manager of the White House really is called Randy Bumgardener.

You have no idea how funny I find that name.
If I heard someone was called Mistress Fanny Cum-Hair Schlocomb it would not be any funnier (although it would be odd as it was a fictional character me and a friend made up who spoke in innuendo).

Pie 11-10-2008 06:52 PM

This comment made me laugh. I found it on MeFi, in an article about queuing.

Except in pubs, people seem to form queues spontaneously at shops, cash machines (ATMs) or anywhere else they have to wait.

There's generally a queue in the pub as well, its just an invisible one in everyone's head.

Queuing is definitely part of the national psyche here. People moan about kids not being brought up badly and not queuing properly but that's just kids being kids and it's always happened.

I can't fucking stand queue jumpers though. In fact, the only time I can remember even coming close to being involved in physical violence in recent years was over some queue jumping.

The story is a bit long, but it probably helps build a picture of attitudes to queueing here in the UK:

If you ever want to see British queuing at its best, go to Victoria Station in London during the rush hour and watch the people filter out of the station and queue for the buses - long snaking queues stretching patiently across the concourse, some with gaps in to allow buses (and people) to go through.

Except, that is, when the Underground Train drivers are on strike. When that happens, every single Tube commuter tries to use the buses instead, and a significant portion seem to decide that the queues obviously don't apply to them because their journey is far more important and must be completed RIGHT NOW!!!11ONEONE.

In other words, they become queue jumpers.

Queue jumpers are generally a weasily and cowardly lot who like to pick on the weak. In contrast, I'm a big stocky bloke with a shaven head. It doesn't matter that on the inside I'm a nerdy bloke who generally wouldn't hurt a fly, when John McQueuejump skulks into view he generally scurries quickly past me avoiding my gaze and looks for better prey.

This was exactly what happened one day, when I found myself part of the aforementioned queuing at Victoria during a Tube Strike.

A suited, and obviously late, business man bustled up from the closed tube entrance, took one look at the queue and then sighed. I was ten feet away from him virtually at the front of the queue, and from that moment I knew he was going to queuejump.

And queue jump he did. He walked to the front, carried on walking past the various blokes and was about to push in ahead of a lady with a push chair who was two people in front of me when he suddenly realised I was looking straight at him with that most dreaded of English expressions - RAISED EYEBROWS (dun dun dun!).

He changed his mind, lowered his gaze and walked quickly past me before cutting back in line ahead of the old lady directly behind me.

I turned round and said, politely, that there was a queue here and that perhaps he'd missed it.

"I'm in a Hurry." He said.

I pointed out that a lot of people in the queue were in a hurry but they seemed to recognise the need to queue, so maybe he should consider heading to the back of it.

"Mind your own fucking business." He said.

Well obviously I did the only sensible thing a man can do in that situation.

I turned to the old lady behind him, smiled sweetly at her and said:

"Would you like to go in front of me madam?"

And she did, the queuejumper being forced to shuffle back as I did to let her in.

Then i turned to the bloke who had been behind her, and said to him:

"Want to go in front of me mate?"

And he did as well.

In fact, the next sixty or seventy or so people all replied in the affirmative as well, and slowly but surely I (and the queuejumper) shuffled further and further back the line until we reached the end of the line and the end of our strange comedic queue-based dance, me holding eye contact with him the whole time.

By the time we got there he was furious, but was still unwilling to risk saying something to me.

Then as the bus finally pulled up, from the front, came a shout. It was the old lady who I'd first let in front of me.

"Young man! Do you want to go in front of me?!"

"That would be lovelly - thanks!" I shouted back, still holding eye contact with the queuejumper. I shot him my warmest (and smuggest) smile...

...and suddenly he snapped.

With a roar of primaeval anger he lunged at me, fist swinging. Luckily I'm quicker than I look and managed to sidestep just in time. His swing whistled past my nose, missing by milimetres. Overbalanced and unable to stop, he tumbled arse-over-tit onto the ground as everyone looked on in a mixture of shock and amusement.

As he fell I felt a strong but firm hand on my shoulder and turned to see a member of the London Constabulary there with a huge grin on his face. Him and his partner had been watching amused from a distance as the whole scene had unfolded.

"You want to press charges?" He said, laughing.

"Nah." I replied, "Not fucking worth it."

"Fair enough," He said, "You better go get your bus. Don't worry about tosspot here - we'll make sure he won't forget today in a hurry anyway."

"I fucking HATE queue jumpers" His partner muttered, as he held the guy down on the ground. "Should be a law against it..."

lumberjim 11-10-2008 07:04 PM

sounds like something lookout123 would do. (the protagonist's part, i mean)

ZenGum 11-10-2008 08:23 PM


Originally Posted by Sundae Girl (Post 502750)
Just found out that the General Manager of the White House really is called Randy Bumgardener.

You have no idea how funny I find that name.

Yes I do.


Do you have a link for that?

Pie ... :lol2: 2

xoxoxoBruce 11-10-2008 11:20 PM

That's Sheldon's alias. ;)

Cicero 11-11-2008 09:39 AM

lol! I love the queue jump story! I am never rude in public until someone does it to me. The last person that did that in a grocery store line had me and my best friend behind him. An event he will probably never forget. Not the two ladies to cut in front of I assure! We don't even have to discuss it, we can go straight from polite and friendly, to make your day fucked, in two seconds. That guy got a report on why it wouldn't be important, for him specifically, to get anywhere...We let him go ahead, but the kicker was, he had to hear us the whoooole time....Things in that grocery line got quite loud, and despite his half attentive excuses, things just got louder.

Anyway. What I'm happy about today? I have the day off, and my test results for the blood work that was done came back normal. The chances of my lump being, non-cancerous are good, so yea!! I think I'm going to end up with a clean bill of health! Yea!!!

lookout123 11-11-2008 10:00 AM

We won our championship game last night. A bunch of us 30++ weekend warriors battled our asses off against a local college team and came away with a 1 point victory. I didn't get my usual goal and 2 assists in this game as I was tasked with last man duties the whole game, but my body held together and I did my job. :D

Pie 11-11-2008 10:03 AM


Originally Posted by Cicero (Post 503100) test results for the blood work that was done came back normal. The chances of my lump being, non-cancerous are good, so yea!! I think I'm going to end up with a clean bill of health! Yea!!!

:jig: I'm so happy to hear it, Cic!

limey 11-11-2008 04:39 PM


DanaC 11-11-2008 05:36 PM

*smiles* good stuff. Cic.

Two things are making me happy today:

a) I have recovered from a very nasty stomach bug that started on sunday evening. Approx. 26 hours of vomiting (and I mean about 1 to 3 times an hour with a couple of breaks of an hour or two, for the entire 26 hours.) followed by a day recovering. I now feel pretty groovy and have eaten yet more soup! (God bless Heinz tomato soup, verily it is the miracle soup).

b) Perry's MA. I am really happy about that.

Juniper 11-11-2008 08:16 PM

Oh, poor Dana. I know quite well what that bug does to you. So glad it's over for you.

Sundae 11-11-2008 08:29 PM


Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 503001)
Do you have a link for that?

Here - well it's good enough evidence for me anyway.

Cicero that's great news, very happy for you.

Dana - I've just got over gastro-enteritis myself, although mine was in the opposite direction. Good news is I lost 10lbs, I doubt that would be a bonus for you though! Bad news is I still can't break wind with any confidence. Something I think Diz is pleased about though.

Shawnee123 11-12-2008 07:41 AM

Sooooo glad to hear your good news, Cicero! :)

Juniper 11-12-2008 02:13 PM

Free at last... :)

I took my final exam in British Lit today. No more "hot Yorkshire guy" as Bri referred to him. Or something like that. :) I can live without him, thanks. So our test covered Othello, King Lear, and some Sidney/Surrey/Spencer sonnets. <---ooh, alliteration! I dunno how I did, but I wrote a lot. :)

I'm to the point in that class where I figure I haven't got much to lose. Either I'll totally ace the thing and get an A for the term, or do not-so-hot and end up with a B. So I decided to have fun with it and compared Edgar in King Lear with Bart Simpson.

Yup, that's right. Edgar said something like....oh, how'd it go... "the worst is not, so long as we can say, "This is the worst." I figure what this means is, as long as I'm not dead, there's always the potential for something even worse than this to happen. (What a bright and sunny philosophy, hm?)

There's this scene in the Simpsons Movie where Bart is standing in the middle of town naked and people are laughing at him. Bart says, "this is the worst day of my life." Homer adds: "Worst day of your life so far."

I hope Mr. Yorkshire Dude has seen the Simpsons. :)

Well, it was fun anyway. And I'm DONE whoo hoo.

Two more exams to go. History and Poetry.

Got another bit of happy news. Had a chat with my history teacher, discussing my concerns for the final (I'm right on that line between an A and a B...) The final is at 8:30 a.m. and I had no idea how I was going to make it there, seeing as how my kid doesn't even get on the bus till 8:20 on a normal day, and on that day they're going in an hour late! But he said, no problem, just show up at 10:30 instead. Yippee!

I am going to be SO glad when this quarter is over.

Adding a "doh" to this... (Simpsons reference, LOL) I got back a short paper I'd written for Brit Lit and I can't believe that I wrote that a sonnet has 4 quatrains. Good grief, I knew better than that. Must've been one of those 2 a.m. projects. I gotta stop doing that, or at least drink less while I'm doing it!

Trilby 11-12-2008 02:19 PM

ah, so long hot Yorkshire guy. And, mama, he IS hot. Sounds like he's on your nerves, though. Yeah, even hot guys get on the nerves, don't they? Somewhere somebody has to put up with his shit.

I have my last poetry class with that guy and he is gonna bring wine. I'm coming fortified with cheese and cake and...and...a starbucks, prolly. No vino for this bambino. DAMMIT!

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