Husband!

No! Bad Jim! Bad Jim.

I guess Griff has earned his dad card.

Song To Be Sung by the Father of Infant Female Children
by Ogden Nash

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky;
Contrariwise, my blood runs cold
When little boys go by.
For little boys as little boys,
No special hate I carry,
But now and then they grow to men,
And when they do, they marry.
No matter how they tarry,
Eventually they marry.
And, swine among the pearls,
They marry little girls.

Oh, somewhere, somewhere, an infant plays,
With parents who feed and clothe him.
Their lips are sticky with pride and praise,
But I have begun to loathe him.
Yes, I loathe with loathing shameless
This child who to me is nameless.
This bachelor child in his carriage
Gives never a thought to marriage,
But a person can hardly say knife
Before he will hunt him a wife.

I never see an infant (male),
A-sleeping in the sun,
Without I turn a trifle pale
And think is he the one?
Oh, first he'll want to crop his curls,
And then he'll want a pony,
And then he'll think of pretty girls,
And holy matrimony.
A cat without a mouse
Is he without a spouse.

Oh, somewhere he bubbles bubbles of milk,
And quietly sucks his thumbs.
His cheeks are roses painted on silk,
And his teeth are tucked in his gums.
But alas the teeth will begin to grow,
And the bubbles will cease to bubble;
Given a score of years or so,
The roses will turn to stubble.
He'll sell a bond, or he'll write a book,
And his eyes will get that acquisitive look,
And raging and ravenous for the kill,
He'll boldly ask for the hand of Jill.
This infant whose middle
Is diapered still
Will want to marry My daughter Jill.

Oh sweet be his slumber and moist his middle!
My dreams, I fear, are infanticiddle.
A fig for embryo Lohengrins!
I'll open all his safety pins,
I'll pepper his powder, and salt his bottle,
And give him readings from Aristotle.
Sand for his spinach I'll gladly bring,
And Tabasco sauce for his teething ring.
Then perhaps he'll struggle through fire and water
To marry somebody else's daughter.

:lol:

That poem made my whole day.

It's clementine season! Time to eat my own weight in tiny, seedless, sweet, and oh-so-easy-to-peel citrus!

I'm with you on that! :thumb: :)
Clementines are teh yummm.

My new hat arrived.
I likey.

It was very cheap. And suggested for people on chemo. So I have it ready for the day when my current hairloss becomes public knowledge. I'm probably not losing all that much tbh - but while I'm a redhead it's really noticeable in the shower! Great menstrual-looking clots of it! But yes, it is a symptom of liver damage. Sigh. As are my spider veins, which means my famous cleavage is now under wraps.

Still - happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
At this early stage a full recovery is possible.

And I like my new hat.

Funny thing was, when it arrived it was from Yusra Hijabs, which wasn't mentioned on the eBay blurb. It comes from Syria. Does that make me a Muslim now? Them and their sneaky agendas. Is that why I craved kebab last night?

Liver Damage? How did I miss that?

What happened?

Foot I sent that pome to my younger brother, father of 3 daughters...oldest 12, youngest 7. He'll love it. :)

Nash was just brilliant.

I had an elderly Japanese friend who owned a cat named Clementine. She pronounced it Kurementine however. After a while my curiosity about why she would name her cat something she couldn't pronounce overcame me. Figuring out a semi tactful way of finding the answer I asked her how she came to name the cat Clementine.

"That was her name when I got her."

OK, then.

Now I always call the fruits, Kurementines.

Kurementines, clementines ... by whatever name, they are teh yummm. :yum:

I love Nash. How do you come to be such a poetry polymath?

Oh, my darling.

Taj used to be Maggie. At the time, Maggie was the bitter old bitch I supervised at my job then. She was awwwwwwwwfullllllllllll. I had to change kitty's name to Taj Ma Hall (she had a reddish dot in the middle of her cute little calico head.) ;)

Drinking is what happened. I know at the time I admitted to it on the Cellar I was still in a grrrrr with you. I was in a grrrrr with other people I formerly treasured because some Cellar issues came to a head at a time when I really could not deal with them, and I never bothered to explain why I was vulnerable.

No blame now. But I still have health fallout to deal with. And isn't self-imposed fallout the shittiest?

There's more recently, but I can't in all conscience put it in this thread.
And am too scared to admit to put it in words anywhere else yet.

SO.

Diz was Dizney when I adopted him.
I'm not shy in saying I am pretty much anti-Disney.
The sanitisation of stories, the homophobia, the ban on beards...
He became Diz very quickly.

what the fuck did you just say there????????? between the ha-ha's and happiness and all lads together- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????????????????


SEE? Now I'm mad. I knew about the liver thing-a bit about it- but what NOW? Pm me or something you wench or I'll twist your ear off!!!