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Old 12-07-2008, 12:25 PM   #15
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
I know it's not a popular opinion here, and for any lurkers or newbies - no, I do not have children.

What it seems to me is that you have a very intelligent and articulate son.
He is at an age where he is exploring the giddy boundaries of what he can do to change the behaviour of the people around him.

I like doing this! Wow! If I keep doing this I will make them do it too!
It's almost like a troll, but with no malicious intent - it is all about patterns.

My brother shrieked having his teeth cleaned for years. My parents just manhandled him without trying to find out why. I very much doubt this is the correct response and certainly it distressed my sister and I (and probably caused us some fear of our parents). So I can't answer that one.

But for the rest, I can't see that some sort of request, warning and punishment system can't work. It would simply help him to bring his behaviour into line with what society in general would expect.

Mini-Clod - sing this, sing that
Clod - No, Mummy is busy right now
Mini Clod - NO - SING THIS SING THAT!
Clod - No. We will sing it when Mummy is ready - you'll go into time out if you keep asking
Blah blah blah I know you'll know the Naughty Step and Time Out and all that guff already.

Of course it might be true that you have a child with a disorder that cannot be modified by anything other than drugs, special schools, hospital visits and years of help. Crikey, Clod - I really, really hope not and I hope you look at everything else first.

You might want to try giving behavioural modification a chance - for at least 6 weeks. After all if your son does have any of these conditions, it is what he will have to be taught in the long run. And if he's just exuberant and bright, he'd be better off with them anyway.

Disclaimer - although as I said I don't have children and don't want them, from the age of 6 I watched my mother struggle with my brother, who tested eligible for MENSA when he was in primary school. Everything was a battle. Everything. As an adulty I think a bit of give and take (about not wanting to wear anything but blue) and a bit of ask-explain-threaten-punish might have gone a long way. Instead it all involved me - the middle child - because I hated all the fuss, the special treatment (SO UNFAIR!) and the noise.
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