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Old 09-12-2019, 09:08 AM   #3
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Without a job it is hard to find purpose. When I was in bad times, I did not realize how much purpose meant. He must find something to do that is meaningful, even if it doesn't bring in money.

"Fix yourself" is a great project. It's ok if it doesn't bring in money, as long as it improves your situation. It will lead to more money later because you are starting from a better point.

For me, moving house was part of finding purpose, because it meant suddenly there was a ton of work to do related to that -- and then, a ton of work just to survive in the shithole. I didn't realize that the ton of work was improving me just because I faced it. I didn't realize that, when we had a record-setting snowfall winter, and I had no choice other than to dig it out every week, it was helping me to actively take control of my situation. I didn't realize it was actually therapy.

I didn't realize how incremental improvements helped. If every day you improve things 1%, by the end of the year things will be wildly improved.

If the good jobs are unavailable, work at a shit job. I worked at the pawn shop and it was horrible. But it improved me, even as part of the motivation was wanting to get out.

But I also know you can't just say these things, or print out the post and give it to him.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote