The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Nothingland

Nothingland Something about nothing - game threads, diversions, time-wasters

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-31-2006, 11:39 AM   #1
slang
St Petersburg, Florida
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,423
Interesting new policy at the post office

New rules for packages now?

I sent a package overseas via US post office yesterday. One of the items was a 3.3 oz bottle of purfume. It was not allowed in the package.

At the counter of a very hot and crowded post office.....

Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or purfume going into this package?
Slang: Ummm......yeah (grabs the purfume)
Clerk: YOU CANT PUT THAT INTO THE PACKAGE!
Slang: Oh. Am I under arrest or something?
Clerk: What are you thinking trying to send something like that in a package. Jesus Christ!
Slang: Yeah, I guess I just wasn't thinking. (looking down at the floor)
Clerk: (stares at me while processing the shipment documentation)

This is getting just a bit ridiculous, but you can't argue with the postal workers or they might just....well, go postal.
slang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 11:45 AM   #2
rkzenrage
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Perfume?
What's it gonna' do?

I lie about what goes into my postal packages all the time.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 12:02 PM   #3
Iggy
Back and ready to tart up the place
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 850
Pretty soon we won't be able to ship anything. Jeez.
__________________
Chock-full of naughty goodness.
Iggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 12:08 PM   #4
Flint
Snowflake
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass.
__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
Flint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 12:41 PM   #5
Elspode
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
Apparently, people were shipping perfume in large quantities to the Middle East, and that just pissed them off. Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too.
__________________
"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
Elspode is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 02:58 PM   #6
headsplice
Relaxed
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 676
Easy solution: just lie.
__________________
Don't Panic
headsplice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:02 PM   #7
lulu
with karate i'll kick your ass
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 53
That sucks.
__________________
Hiya!
lulu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:05 PM   #8
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: DC
Posts: 13,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by lulu
That sucks.
No, it stinks.
__________________
_________________
|...............| We live in the nick of times.
| Len 17, Wid 3 |
|_______________| [pics]
Happy Monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:06 PM   #9
Flint
Snowflake
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
Hey, the post office never promised you a rose garden...
__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
Flint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:12 PM   #10
lulu
with karate i'll kick your ass
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
No, it stinks.

That too.
__________________
Hiya!
lulu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:20 PM   #11
slang
St Petersburg, Florida
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,423
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint
You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass.
Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or a balloon full of perfume up your ass?
Slang: Damn!! How'd you know?
Clerk: I work for the post office and we know everything....except where your missing mail went.
slang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:22 PM   #12
slang
St Petersburg, Florida
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,423
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too.
The camelipstick sailed through. Go figure.
slang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:25 PM   #13
slang
St Petersburg, Florida
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,423
Quote:
Originally Posted by headsplice
Easy solution: just lie.
From jail......

Convict: What you in for bitch?
Slang: Well, I had some purfume up----ah....murder.
slang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 03:28 PM   #14
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
Quote:
Originally Posted by slang
From jail......

Convict: What you in for bitch?
Slang: Well, I had some purfume up----ah....murder.
"...and creating a nuisance"
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2006, 08:46 PM   #15
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Probably flag perfume because of the flammable liquid thing.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:20 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.