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Old 08-03-2016, 03:14 AM   #1
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
Moving

This will be long, involved, and personal.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
After 23 years, The Wife and I are moving.

We have been hired to be caretakers of a property owned by my new lodge, and it'll be free rent and utilities included.
After the last five or so years, we need something good to happen.

Let me explain.

First, my father (a Jehovah's Witness) disowned me because I refused to rescind my Masonic membership.
Two years go by, and my father dies. I found out when I read the obit in the paper.

The same year, The Wife undergoes a total hysterectomy.
December 27.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
She's afflicted with endometriosis that has attached to the bladder and covered the ovaries, and can't stand upright without being in agony.
She also had four cysts in her uterus, each the size of a tennis ball, and one in each of the ovaries, the size of plums.
They excised a dime-sized piece of her bladder, and she is catheterized for three months.

The following year, my mother-in-law takes ill, and begins the slow decline.
At the same time that she is on her deathbed, I end up with a staph infection in my shoulder.

Because we're dealing with her mother dying, I don't tell her about the dull pain in my shoulder, and it slowly gets worse.
It gets to the point where moving my arm is painful, and I began losing sensation in the arm.
Finally, I go to the hospital, and the doctor tells me that if I had decided to go back to sleep that morning, I probably would not have woken up. I was about 2 hours away from going into severe sepsis, according to the ER doctor.
I was not only in danger of losing my arm, I was close to dying, and didn't know it.
When I was admitted, I had a blood glucose count of 574, an A1C of 9.1, and blood pressure of 195/120.
The doc says that I should be taken IMMEDIATELY to an OR, but there isn't one open.
The doctor has me sign a release, and begins operating right in the ER.
Of course, The Wife blows her stack, and starts screaming "Why didn't you get checked earlier? Are you fucking stupid?"
"Well, dear, your mother is dying, and when I mentioned not feeling well, you told me I was upset that no one was paying attention to me."
A little reality check there, as I try to stay in the background as much as possible. And she knows that. Later she admitted that she knew that if I wanted to go to the hospital, something was wrong.

During my little vacation, I call the secretary of what was my lodge and tell him why I won't be around for a few days.
His response? "Yeah, so? What do I care?"
Well.
That really pissed me off.
My first meeting back, I get "You don't look sick. You just wanted to slack off."
I decide to join a different lodge.
When a request for information from Lodge B gets to Lodge A, I get bitched at by the shitbag who is the head of Lodge A.
"WHAT THE FUCK? I didn't give you my permission to join another lodge! Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Meanwhile, all the meds that I'm on at that time are causing me to black out, I can barely breathe, and I can't even form a sentence because I'm so out of it.
Four insulin shots of thirty units a day, two thousand mgs. of Metformin three times a day (Let me tell you, Metformin WILL clear out your intestines. I was afraid to cough.)
High blood pressure meds that if I blinked too hard, I'd pass out.
I tell my doctor about all this and she says "That's just the way your life will be now, so get used to it."
After nine months, I declare 'Fuck this action!' and stop the meds all together.

A new year rolls around, and the bullshit at Lodge A reaches a breaking point.
I get accused of things that there is no possible way I could have been involved in. When I prove this beyond reasonable doubt, I am told "Well someone has to take the blame, so it will be you."
Fuck that.
I demand a dimit. This removes me from Lodge A, the lodge that I was made a Freemason in.
Most members will tell you that leaving your mother lodge is a drastic move.
I get cursed at during the meeting, in front of an open Bible.
As I leave the building, one of the past masters (whom I never got along with anyway) says "At least we got rid of that troublemaker." (He has since died of Stage 4 esophageal cancer. Couldn't have happened to a better person.)

I go home and say to myself "Well, it can't get worse."

I should have known better.

Early last year, The Wife gets a call from her doctor.
When the doctor calls you, it's never good.
Early stage breast cancer.
She loses it.
For two weeks, she does nothing but lay in bed and cry.
We go to a consultation, and it gets worse.
"Due to the history of fibroid cysts in your breasts, and the high probability of cancer forming in them, we are suggesting a bi-lateral mastectomy."

Great.
Wonderful.
Marvelous.

She has the procedure, and the plastic surgeon puts in the expanders at the same time. Operation one.
She develops a staph infection, so the doc removes the one expander and replaces it. Operation two.
Anther infection. Remove the new expander. Operation three.
An infection in the other expander. That gets removed. Operation four.
Plastic surgeon removes the excess skin and subcutaneous fat. Operation five.
All this happens in three months.
Last summer was spent in the hospital.

Finally, The wife comes home, and I do everything I can for her. Cook, housework, laundry...
She likes being doted on, but insists on trying to do for herself.
Little by little, she gets stronger.

I hear thru the grapevine that the shitbags from my old lodge are running around to other lodges, saying "Oh, they're faking her getting cancer. They just want the attention."
I inform one of them that if I hear those words come out of his mouth, I will break his neck.
"You better not! I'll report you to the Grand Lodge!"
"Look, you Mister Potatohead looking fuck - If I hear you or one of your little cocksucking friends says anything about my wife, I will hold YOU personally responsible. If Fuckface says it, YOU catch an asswhipping. I don't give a good Goddamn who's around. Think I'm lying? Try me."

Potatohead finally sees her at a reception.
At this time, she does not have the prosthetics yet, and if you knew her before the surgery, you'd definitely notice that she's flat.
Potatohead turns right around and avoids us for the night.

My new lodge, and the other six lodges in the district, all contact The Wife to offer support, either by email, text, card, call, ect...

So, that brings us up to the beginning of 2016.

The caretaker for the property has, for the past three or so years, been slacking off on his duties. He quit/got fired last month, so...

The Wife and I were selected to be asked if we'd be interested in the job.
"Oh, hell yeah!"
We've been throwing out stuff, selling stuff, giving stuff away...

I'm pleased. Since I stopped all the meds, I've dropped 100 pounds, my breathing has improved, my blood sugar has returned to a normal level.
The Wife is happy with the way she looks now, her energy is returning, and she's losing weight, not as fast as she'd like, but it's coming off.

To top it all off, one of the members gave us his old car.
A 1999 Crown Vic LX.

Things are starting to look up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
tl;dr
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



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Old 08-03-2016, 06:27 AM   #2
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
Wow, Crimson. That was long and personal. I'm glad things are improving health wise for both of you. I hope this move will shake things up and be a change for the better.
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Old 08-03-2016, 06:52 AM   #3
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
Jesus man. So much shit. Good on your new lodge.
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Old 08-03-2016, 10:47 AM   #4
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Couple thoughts

The stuff of life... I know you put that line in your sig well before any of this started.

Middle age: means everyone I know is getting very sick. This part really sucks. They didn't tell us about this.

I know for certain that the gift of an old car can be the lifeline that you hold onto when things go astray.

It seems like any group of adults is just as likely to devolve into high school level drama. Finding adults that don't devolve, seems to be pretty difficult. I know it's the reason I'm making music with the people I currently am; there's almost no drama with these people. It's worth sticking around for.

I believe that the time to go off the meds is when your numbers look good and the doc says you can. That is just what I believe. It may have worked out this time and you got lucky with your liver. Next time, maybe you get unlucky as you did when you first played doctor on yourself, and decided pain don't hurt.

Lastly Metformin could be a wonder drug and you may want to be on it after all
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Old 08-03-2016, 01:39 PM   #5
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
"Look, you Mister Potatohead looking fuck - If I hear you or one of your little cocksucking friends says anything about my wife, I will hold YOU personally responsible. If Fuckface says it, YOU catch an asswhipping. I don't give a good Goddamn who's around. Think I'm lying? Try me."
I'm totally stealing this, and I ain't even married anymore.

I am really sorry to hear about the shit show, chapters 1-99, gawd. I am even more happy to hear about your (positive) reversal of fortune. I don't have anything pithy or advice-y to add, only my best wishes for you and Mrs Ghost, and for things to continue to improve.
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Old 08-03-2016, 02:34 PM   #6
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
What V said, pretty much.

Ghosty, I'm sorry you and your wife had to go through all that. Sounds like y'all have paid some dues, and it's time for the good things to come around to ya. I hope they do.
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Old 08-03-2016, 02:48 PM   #7
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
Wow Crimson, what a fecking year - you guys have proper been through the mill.

Glad things are going in the other direction now.
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Old 08-03-2016, 03:58 PM   #8
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
I have weird associations with Metformin from when I was a fertility patient, because it's also a treatment for PCOS-- which they swore I didn't have, but they tried it anyway because nothing else was making me ovulate, and damn if I didn't start immediately. If it weren't for Metformin, I might not have kids.

Anyway. Self-indulgent tangents aside, I'm glad things are finally looking up for you guys. Is she planning on just getting the implants, or has she thought about a tattoo to cover the scars? I have some wispy hint in my mind that you're a tattoo fan, CG, though I could be misremembering that.
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Old 08-03-2016, 07:36 PM   #9
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
Thanks for the good vibes, everyone.
The Wife thanks you too.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
Couple thoughts

The stuff of life... I know you put that line in your sig well before any of this started.

Middle age: means everyone I know is getting very sick. This part really sucks. They didn't tell us about this.

I know for certain that the gift of an old car can be the lifeline that you hold onto when things go astray.

It seems like any group of adults is just as likely to devolve into high school level drama. Finding adults that don't devolve, seems to be pretty difficult. I know it's the reason I'm making music with the people I currently am; there's almost no drama with these people. It's worth sticking around for.

I believe that the time to go off the meds is when your numbers look good and the doc says you can. That is just what I believe. It may have worked out this time and you got lucky with your liver. Next time, maybe you get unlucky as you did when you first played doctor on yourself, and decided pain don't hurt.

Lastly Metformin could be a wonder drug and you may want to be on it after all
If I had known I'd live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

I agree, stopping the meds cold was possibly a dumb move, but the side effects at that time were, in my mind, worse. I got really lucky.

All the high school bullshit had to go. I'm 45 years old, I don't have time for that shit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
I'm totally stealing this, and I ain't even married anymore.
Go for it.
__________________
We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 08-03-2016, 07:39 PM   #10
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
I have weird associations with Metformin from when I was a fertility patient, because it's also a treatment for PCOS-- which they swore I didn't have, but they tried it anyway because nothing else was making me ovulate, and damn if I didn't start immediately. If it weren't for Metformin, I might not have kids.

Anyway. Self-indulgent tangents aside, I'm glad things are finally looking up for you guys. Is she planning on just getting the implants, or has she thought about a tattoo to cover the scars? I have some wispy hint in my mind that you're a tattoo fan, CG, though I could be misremembering that.
Metformin didn't make me ovulate, but everyone reacts differently...

No implants. She has the falsies that go in the bra.
She's allergic to a lot of things, so the tattoos are a no-go.
I could go either way on the tats.

All I care about is that she's alive.
__________________
We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 08-05-2016, 07:30 AM   #11
fargon
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost View Post
All I care about is that she's alive.
That's all that matters.
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Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.
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Old 08-05-2016, 08:16 PM   #12
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
Damn ... Bless you both. Its about damn time things start going your way.
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Old 08-05-2016, 11:09 PM   #13
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
Thanks.
Sometimes, when you get nothing but shit thrown at you day after day, you get used to it.
And when something good happens, you don't quite know how to deal with it.
__________________
We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 10-21-2016, 01:19 AM   #14
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
Update -

The new place is out-fucking-standing!!!
The Wife LOVES it here.
Of course, we know we packed stuff, it's a matter of finding it.
Took me two weeks to find my neckties, and then promptly lost them again.
Moved in on Oct. 1, and everything is going good.
__________________
We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Crimson Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2016, 03:41 AM   #15
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
I've felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us, 'pon us, 'pon us...
But I know that I love you so. But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion and like the wind they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion - I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient, quotient - Upon us all, upon us all a little rain must fall.
It's just a little rain oh yeah
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Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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