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Old 12-07-2015, 01:43 AM   #16
xoxoxoBruce
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That's cool, if a network works for you.
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Old 12-07-2015, 01:56 AM   #17
Aliantha
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Well, there are a few good friends I can talk to, but really it doesn't help that much. Yeah, it's nice when someone listens, but in the end I'm the one who has to deal with it all. The only one with answers is me really. I know what I need to do. I just need to flip that switch in my head, but there's a part of me that kind of likes feeling sad or something. It's like a drug. It's hard to fight. I quit smoking and other things in my life. I'm sure I can quit this too.
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:08 AM   #18
Griff
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Chin up, you've been through the wringer.
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Old 12-07-2015, 08:47 AM   #19
xoxoxoBruce
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Have you tried a ménage à trois in public during daylight?
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:25 AM   #20
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aliantha View Post
there's a part of me that kind of likes feeling sad or something. It's like a drug. It's hard to fight..
It's impossible to fight. That's the Pain Body. It's NOT a part of YOU. It is it's own entity and It want's to survive.

It wants to, but the only way it can is if you feed it. It is not you. You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker. Separate yourself from that feeling when you notice it, and remind yourself that you are safe and sound, and that, in THIS MOMENT, you are OK. Nothing is lacking.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eckhart Tolle
Once the pain body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn't really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others.
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Last edited by lumberjim; 12-07-2015 at 09:31 AM.
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:40 PM   #21
Aliantha
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Thanks Jim.
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Old 12-07-2015, 11:46 PM   #22
lumberjim
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Just hoping that helps you some. The book is called The Power of Now. I'm sure you're all sick of me bringing it up, but it's the most useful thing I've ever read.
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Old 12-08-2015, 02:56 AM   #23
Aliantha
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I had a book called Awareness by Anthony DeMello. It was the same for me. I found it really uplifting and thought provoking. I loaned it to someone who didn't return it. I can't remember who it was and it's something I need to fix. I think I might go buy another copy if I can find it anywhere.
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Old 12-08-2015, 11:25 AM   #24
xoxoxoBruce
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PM me your address and I'll have it delivered.
http://www.amazon.com/Awareness-The-.../dp/0385249373
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:48 PM   #25
Aliantha
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That's very kind Bruce. x I'll sort it out though. It's only a small paperback, so much cheaper for me to have a look in the bookstore and buy it here.
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Old 12-10-2015, 06:01 AM   #26
DanaC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
It's impossible to fight. That's the Pain Body. It's NOT a part of YOU. It is it's own entity and It want's to survive.

It wants to, but the only way it can is if you feed it. It is not you. You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker. Separate yourself from that feeling when you notice it, and remind yourself that you are safe and sound, and that, in THIS MOMENT, you are OK. Nothing is lacking.
Wow. That really resonates. I have totally been there.
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Old 12-10-2015, 09:40 AM   #27
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So I went to the library yesterday. Signed up for next year's health insurance. It's going to cost way more than I think I can afford, but what the government thinks I can afford isn't exactly the same thing. If I quit one of my jobs it would be free. But then there's less money. I don't know what's more cost-effective but I suspect it would be to quit a job. Not happening.

So this thread has been on my mind, the way my thoughts take over. I went to look for that Power of Now book. Online card catalog said 'available.' But it wasn't there where it was supposed to be. Looked all over the surrounding shelves. Nope. I guess someone who would rather steal than just get a library card. Or it was just misplaced. But the stealing was where my thoughts went. Huh. Jaded, I am. You might be too if you dealt with some of the stuff I saw in Higher Ed and what I see now in Public Defender's office. I fight that, try to keep some of the ideals I had when I was younger. But sometimes I'm too tired to fight it.

But anyway, I'll keep an eye out for it because it sounds like a good read.

And it's comforting to know others go through this too. Not that I want others to go through it, it just makes me feel less freakish. More human. So, thanks for the thread.
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Old 12-10-2015, 09:51 AM   #28
lumberjim
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I've got two copies coming from amazon today. PM me your address..

until then click here for a pdf
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 12-10-2015, 09:52 AM   #29
lumberjim
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I have this on audiobook, and I've listened to it 4 times or more.... and each time, some different part stands out to me. I think I need to read it again, just to remind myself to stay present.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 12-10-2015, 09:53 AM   #30
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From over here, I can tell you that you seem 100% human and 0% freak.
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