|
Current Events Help understand the world by talking about things happening in it |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
01-30-2009, 10:27 AM | #1 |
in a mood, not cupcake
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 3,034
|
What if our dads were in charge of the bailouts?
MonkeyBoy and I were noting the unfairness of the various, no-strings government bailouts, while over the past year or so, we have been generally unsuccessful in obtaining any "bailouts" of our own. But these are the times that build true character, of course. Or so dear old Dad likes to say...
So, you know that phone commercial, "What if deliverymen were in charge of schools?" Well, we were inspired to come up with our own scenario. What if our dads were in charge of the corporate bailouts? “I don’t want to give you that much money. You’ll just blow it on crap.” “Tell me who you owe money to, and I’ll write checks to them.” “Let me know when you’re ready to buy equipment/open a new branch/hire some people, and I’ll pay for part of it." “I’ll give you the money, but I’m also sending you this excellent book on how to run a business. You have to promise me you’re going to read it first.” “Instead of going to The Palm, go to the grocery store, to the prepared foods counter. You can feed four people for twelve dollars.” “Instead of getting a caterer for your breakfast meeting, go to the deli and get the day-old bagels. They’re half-price." I don’t have that kind of money just ready to give out. It’s all tied up in my retirement account." “Why? Don’t you have a job?” “No.” |
01-30-2009, 10:46 AM | #2 |
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
|
__________________
Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
01-30-2009, 12:45 PM | #4 |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
|
He told you to lend money to who? And if he told you to throw yourself off a cliff?
|
01-30-2009, 01:32 PM | #5 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
|
Dad: You'll have to talk to your mother about that.
Mum: I warned you didn't I? I said we wouldn't be able to help if things went wrong. We'll do what we can but it won't be much. Have you thought about hospital cleaning in the evenings? |
01-30-2009, 01:34 PM | #6 |
Gone and done
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,808
|
I have no idea what my father would have said if I had asked him for money. I never did, in the 17/21 years I was in their care.
Though they did pay for room, board and books while I was in college.
__________________
per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not. |
01-30-2009, 02:16 PM | #7 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
|
Shawnee's Dad:
Well, you can work for bailout money...you're old enough to get a job somewhere, or you can work around the house for me. (Shawnee leaves skid marks getting to the nearby produce farm after envisioning filing down the grass blades by hand and painting the fence 6 times.)
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
01-30-2009, 03:16 PM | #8 |
Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
|
I honestly have no idea what my dad would say.
But before he said it, he'd get this pained look on his face and look away for about two seconds as if he were thinking, "Damn, I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue." |
01-30-2009, 04:02 PM | #9 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
|
Honestly, my dad would say to me, "Alright, well let's talk about how much you need and how in the world you got into this situation."
But to my brother, he'd laugh and say, "Ah... no." |
01-30-2009, 04:43 PM | #10 |
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
|
I never got any money from my folks growing up. By the time we were old enough to need money, we were working. So we either had it to spend or didn't.
__________________
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller |
01-30-2009, 05:06 PM | #11 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
|
My Dad would say, "Just go bankrupt then you can move in with me and pick mangos for a living".
__________________
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
01-30-2009, 05:09 PM | #12 |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
|
My Dad would have super-sized our mid-east war with the excess cash.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
01-30-2009, 09:56 PM | #13 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
|
My dad would have told them to go pound salt and then kicked them in the cunt.
You? He'd give you the shirt off his back. Me? He'd tell me to get a job and that I didn't have a rich uncle who was about to die.
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
01-31-2009, 08:13 AM | #14 |
Professor
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: the edge of the abyss
Posts: 1,947
|
My dad would give me anything that was in his power to give me.
But if he was in charge of corporate bailouts? He probably would have told them to rot in hell, and to not bend over when they dropped the soap. |
02-06-2009, 10:13 AM | #15 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
|
My dad:
"You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out. That's your bag of rocks to carry."
__________________
Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|