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Old 01-14-2005, 02:13 PM   #1
lumberjim
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crushes

Tell me about someone you had unrequited love for.
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Old 01-14-2005, 03:05 PM   #2
staceyv
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how about foolish love?

my idiot ex-husband. I met him when I was 15, he was 21. he was in the navy, stationed here in newport, but he was originally from the back woods of North Carolina. His daddy was a preacher. He was pretty screwed up. He cheated on me, didn't call when he said he would, he'd say he'd be by to pick me up at 9:00 but he'd never come, I tracked him down at a hotel, he was with another girl and he has a hickey on his neck. he drank 1-2 40 oz bottles of beer every day, he spent 100% of his income on hotel rooms, booze, rap cds and pimping his ride. For some reason, I LOOOOVED him. I really have bno idea why, now when I look back.
He worked in the ship store and he stole stuff, so they put him on restriction to the boat for 45 days. I used to walk 3 miles to visit him everday after school, and I saved the $3 a day my grandmother gave me for school lunch so I could take cabs to see him. Instead of eating healthy lunches, I was eating 99cent french fries every day.
I used a sunless tanning lotion on my face and it made me break out in hives. He told me not to come and visit him until my face cleared up. Then, he went on a SIX month cruise. I vowed to remain faithful. I sent him care packages, letters, tapes with my voice on them and our song in the background (I will always love you- Whitney Houston)...I didn't go to my senior prom, I was waiting for him. I taught myself how to play guitar and I wrote a countdown song "today is the (blank) of the month of (blank), just (blank) days to go now, (blank) days to go now...(blank) days till I can see my baby, (blank) days, I think I'm going crazy"... And ofcourse, the depression song "depression, you're ripping through my soul, depression rusted this heart of gold..."
Among many other very pitiful 3 and 4 chord songs...
So anyway, he wrote me that he didn't even want to be with me when he got back. I waited 6 months for him, he came back, got a hotel room at the Newport Marriot, which cost about $150 even 12 years ago. I sat in the hotel lobby and waited for him for like 6 hours. The door guys were like "why are you waiting for this jerk" so I told them it was because he had my stereo and I wanted it back, but the real reason was that I was a friggin IDIOT way too in love with someone who didn't deserve it...
Anyway, I kept chasing him, so he let me hang around in between banging this other girl, who was very beautiful...His ship got sent to Virginia 2 months before I graduated high school. My grandparents told me they couldn't afford to send me to college in virginia, but if I stayed here, they would give me a car and pay my tuition. What do I do? I got a summer job, saved all my money and bought dishes, towels, all crap for our new home together. I talked my grandfather into co-signing a $2000 loan so I could move, I talked my aunt and uncle into giving me a ride, and I moved to Virginia, payed the first month's rent and deposit, made him dinner...Then we decided it would be cheaper if we were married because he would get almost double the money for me, housing and food allowances, etc. So, we went and got a couple of 10 karat gold wedding rings on credit and I made the arrangements for the minister and his wife to come to our apartment and marry us. We decided not to tell anyone...The night we were supposed to get married at 6:00, he tells me at 5:30 that he doesn't want to marry me. I cried and cried. He was finally like "whatever, okay, let's just do it", so we did. THEN, we walked up the street to BURGER KING and had two 99 cent whoppers. The NEXT DAY, he left for a 2 month deployment. He left me with cabinets full of rice, beans and Ramen noodles, and a five-dollar bill. I had no friends, no job, no money.
Okay, I'm sick of reliving this crap. Let me summarize the rest. I got two jobs, then we got relocated to kingsville TX, he got drunk every day, I sat around all depressed and got pets (2 cats, 2 birds, 3 dogs) Maybe I was lonely? I couldn't find a job and I even applied at Burger King and McDonald's, but I wasn't Mexican and I didn't know anyone in that shit town...He treated me like shit, locked my cats in the bathroom closet and taped the door, threw hot water on my cat, made me keep one of my dogs chained outside because it was a "mutt", wouldn't help me feed the rottweiler he wanted, so I had to go sell all of my cd's to buy dog food and I had to return my birthday clothes to the store to bring her to the vet...I kept threatening to leave and he would just say "well, go on, then, go!" and after packing up everything I own three times, I finally talked my grandmother into paying my way back home, along with the rottweiler, chihuahua and cat. I had to sell the birds, find a home for the 2 cats and the other dog. I was 19...
I WAS STUPID! I had a very low self esteem, my mother always treated me like a worthles pain in the ass, and she was always with different boyfriends. I never had a stable father figure. Maybe that's why I was so stupid??
Either way, what a learning experience!! I stopped dating black guys after that, not because I'm prejudice, but just because they remind me of my ex-husband. Same reason I stopped dating white americans...I have one bad experience and I need something totally fresh and new. I found happiness (after a little trauma) with a nice Russian boy He treats me nice.

Last edited by staceyv; 01-14-2005 at 03:09 PM.
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Old 01-14-2005, 03:15 PM   #3
SteveDallas
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There was this girl in high school. I took a real shine to her.. very pretty, and quite brilliant too. A little on the introverted side I dare say, just like me. It didn't take me long to become smitten. I made an extremely awkward advance and received what was, I think I am fair in saying, an equally awkward refusal. And that was the end of it.

I saw her at the class reunion. I'm afraid the passing years have only served to enhance all those qualities that attracted me to her in the first place, and I had to swallow my considerable regrets as I engaged in the typical "Hi, how are you doing, I heard you were at X, that's great for you, really, you got promoted, have you heard from Y, I thought he was coming but then he changed his mind" exchange.
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Old 01-14-2005, 03:18 PM   #4
SteveDallas
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Ummm. stacey.. not that it's not a great story... but if you got married you can't call it unrequited!
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Old 01-14-2005, 03:25 PM   #5
staceyv
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I didn't know what "unrequited" meant, so I substituted "foolish" ........hey, wait a minute, I just looked it up and it says it means "unanswered", so in that case, I'm right on! He never loved me, he only married me to get a bigger paycheck.

Last edited by staceyv; 01-14-2005 at 03:28 PM.
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Old 01-14-2005, 03:41 PM   #6
SteveDallas
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OK, point.
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Old 01-14-2005, 04:10 PM   #7
perth
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I dated a girl my senior year of high school, a preacher's daughter. She was as much a rebound relationship as you can expect from an 18 year old. A beautiful girl, and as sweet a girl as I've ever met. I was truly lucky to have her interested in me, but thanks to selfish youth I completely failed to realise it. I smoked and partied behind her back. I neglected to spend time with her, and generally behaved in a self-centred manner. But I was completely smitten. We both knew that when the summer ended, so too would our relationship, but in my mind I believed that it would somehow continue. It didn't, and we agreed we would keep in touch.

Keeping in touch meant regularly sending each other care packages, pictures, and the constant exchange of emails. I guess I took this continued closeness as persistence of our relationship. I found she didn't feel the same way when she called me one night for advice regarding this guy she met. I said awful, horrible, hurtful things to her. I was angry, hurt and still far too selfish.

So I eventually got over it and moved on with my life. I moved to Iowa City for a change of scenery (yeah, it's a lot nicer than you might think, I actually miss that town from time to time). I spent the time there learning to be myself, learning to wake up with a positive attitude and not spend all my time being miserable.

After "finding" myself in Iowa, I came back to Colorado and got a job at the local Sam's Club. Turns out she worked there too. I wouldn't say I was awful to her at this point, but I did make a point of avoiding her. Until she cornered me, telling me we needed to talk. I agreed, realising that I never owed someone an apology the way I did her. We decided to get together for coffee sometime. Time got away from the both of us, and we never had that coffee. Before I knew it, she had left again for school and I never got a chance to tell her about what went on in my head.

The whole experience was one of my defining moments. I look back and realise that not only did I carry a torch for that girl, but I managed to mess things up at every turn. She was truly my first love, and I learned more from her than any girl I had ever known to that point in my life. I may have fucked things up, but I am thank ful I got to know her and got to learn so much about myself as a result of my time with her.

I guess this is only marginally about unrequited love. I think about it a lot though, and it was nice to get it off my chest. I think her influence was in large part the reason I can still count Case as a friend, despite the divorce.
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Old 01-14-2005, 04:19 PM   #8
warch
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When I was younger, I always seemed to get smitten by pretty fellas out of my league or tortured genius types that really could only see me as a pal, meanwhile missing out on the true gems right in front of me. But you cant force chemistry, just try to work for an equal mix!
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Old 01-14-2005, 04:19 PM   #9
garnet
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The Vice President of the company I used to work for. He was a good looking man, but not gorgeous or anything--a New Yorker and really funny. I'm not sure if it was an attraction to his power or confidence or what, but I became a blubbering mess whenever he was around. He was a happily married, family-man type, so of course I never pursued anything. (Not to mention that dating co-workers is usually a pretty bad idea). It turns out that his wife and I have the same first and middle name, and my middle name is rather unusual--weird. He always went out of his way to say hello to me, and I caught him staring at me a couple times. If he wasn't married you never know what could have happened. A girl can dream, right? Ahhhh.
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Old 01-14-2005, 08:16 PM   #10
footfootfoot
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Jesus StacyV, don't hold back.

I'm glad you're happy now. You deserve it. Whew.
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Old 01-14-2005, 10:27 PM   #11
richlevy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staceyv
and our song in the background (I will always love you- Whitney Houston)
I think that counts as your first mistake.
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Old 01-14-2005, 11:45 PM   #12
Beestie
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My absolute first crush was on a hot little blonde number in the fourth grade. I still remember her name. And nearly everything else about her.

Not until the ninth grade would that crush be eclipsed by a crush of galactic proportion. This crush, which shifted the very axis of rotation of planet earth, lasted through my senior year. That's a long time at that age. We became very good friends but we were both very messed up kids. She was too pretty for her own good and ended up getting knocked up by an older guy resulting in an abortion. College and life separated us permanently.

It would be ten more years before I had another crush of that magnitude. A beautiful girl from New York passed through Atlanta and took my heart with her back to New York. I chased her up there but it was not meant to be. I retreated and fell back into a relationship that provided purpose for me but little else. This relationsip almost ruined my life. Thank God for friends who aren't afraid to lay out the cards.

It would be another ten years before the very foundations of reality would shake again. I realized quickly that this one was a keeper and made it official. That was nine years and two beautiful children ago. And we are still exploring our relationship.
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Old 01-15-2005, 01:03 PM   #13
staceyv
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hey feet- I mean footfootfoot, I'm surprised you even read my post, I figured it would be too long for you. I'm not one for holding back, I like to blurt out everything, sometimes too much, because it feels good and it's not like my coworkers and family are reading this...I'm not so open in "real" life... This is my substitute for a therapist, which is probably what I really need, but what the hell, you guys'll do.
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Old 01-15-2005, 05:39 PM   #14
elSicomoro
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So, James...when do we get to hear about your crush(es)?
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Old 01-15-2005, 06:03 PM   #15
Kitsune
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Some years ago during what I kindly label my "dumbass years" (read: "teenage years") I developed a crush on a bouncy, active, cute redhead who had a wonderful, explore-all attitude about the world. We started hanging out after I met her and I couldn't get my mind away from thoughts of love whenever she was around. Repeated visits turned into long, late-night discussions about life and philosophical topics under the stars. Her interests in these things absolutely captured me -- I finally found a girl who was a dreamer and her carefree life stole my heart. The relationship always bordered on something more than just friends, but officially it never turned into the dating game.

Some months into this, she grew frustrated with me and cut off communication unexpectedly; my devastation only saw light after one solid month of silence and unreturned phone calls. Why had she cut her ties with me?

"You're not in love with God."

Umm... what?

"To be in love with me you must be in love with God."

Her conversation with me was cold, emotionless, and downright hostile. I never thought she was that much into religion. In fact, none of our previous conversations even hinted at it! Her full explanation revealed all, though, and I found out that she had simply strung me along in order to try to get me to attend her church and convert. At that point, her conversations with me about philosophy suddenly had much more meaning -- she was finding out which side of the fence I was on and through this she found a heathen she wanted to save to get points with the big man in the sky and did everything she could in order to send me down the right path. That was her goal, nothing more, and once she found out I was "too far gone", even friendship wasn't permissable.

Bitch.

Last edited by Kitsune; 01-15-2005 at 06:06 PM.
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