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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 03-23-2009, 04:25 PM   #121
Queen of the Ryche
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Hopefully the prize will be hugs and smiles from Minifob. You are an amazingly strong woman Clod - I deal with the "usual" eccentricities with Princess of the Ryche and have to take the occasional deep breath. Can't imagine your level of pure joy when you hear new words or see a pattern broken.
(Re the waffle iron, can you buy the normal sized square one and cut them down to circles, or is that too much additional work? Or do you think he'd notice? Or is he over it?)
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Old 03-23-2009, 04:27 PM   #122
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oh, clod, you -- you're just incredible to be doing all this.

wish I could send you a bunch
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Old 03-23-2009, 07:14 PM   #123
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Hang in there CF -here's proof positive that the diet effort is worth it. It will get easier.
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Old 03-26-2009, 09:50 AM   #124
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Motherfuckinggoddamncumslutbitchasswhores...

There's a new food Minifob can't have. By now we know the signs--he eagerly demanded the new food several meals in a row, and lay on the floor screaming and begging for more when I told him we would be having his (old) favorite food instead. This was right about the time that his behavior, which had been steadily recovering since Sunday, took another plunge.

The problem? This food--little spicy tortilla strips that are supposed to go on salads, but I thought they would function nicely as a chip for him too--is supposedly gluten-free and dairy-free. There's a slight chance that the unnamed "spices" on the ingredient list contains something like whey powder or sodium caseinate, and I've emailed the company to ask, but they would be breaking food labeling rules if that's the case. It seems more likely to me that he actually has a problem with something else in the list, and the obvious culprit would be everyone's favorite neuroexciter, MSG. (Did you know MSG directly affects the brain? That's why it tastes so good when it doesn't actually taste like much of anything.) Most sources of MSG are already eliminated by the GFCF diet anyway, but one major exception is canned fruit. There's still plenty of brands out there with no artificial sweeteners, including the ones we've been serving him all along, but I was really hoping I could find just one thing that I could definitively say it was always safe for him to eat without having to check the label every time.

One thing he likes, anyway. It doesn't do me much good to say he can always have raw broccoli.
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Old 03-26-2009, 11:17 AM   #125
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Shit Clod, are you going to have to grow and can your own food?

Hang tough, you don't seem to be catching a lot of breaks, and your living it every damn day. But from a spectator's point of view, I'd say you've learned so much, and made so much progress, in just 4 months, it's a tribute to your dedication. Baby steps perhaps, but progress none the less.
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Old 03-26-2009, 11:25 AM   #126
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MSG is the evil.

Hang in there, Clod.
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Old 03-26-2009, 11:27 AM   #127
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From where I'm sitting, it's just amazing everything you are doing Clod. I'm really impressed with how dedicated you are, and patient too.

Your kid isn't going to thank you, because kids don't do that, but you are awesome and deserve recognition for everything you are doing. I have nothing of any value or insight to add to any of this discussion, so I haven't been posting much in this thread, but you're my hero.
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Old 03-26-2009, 11:45 AM   #128
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From where I'm sitting, it's just amazing everything you are doing Clod. I'm really impressed with how dedicated you are, and patient too.

Your kid isn't going to thank you, because kids don't do that, but you are awesome and deserve recognition for everything you are doing. I have nothing of any value or insight to add to any of this discussion, so I haven't been posting much in this thread, but you're my hero.
Historian John Hope Franklin died yesterday at age 94. I heard on NPR that he had been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Bill Clinton. They said it was the highest civilian award you can receive.

You know, like, every mother deserves this award. But especially the great ones like Clod here. And Pooka of course.
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Old 03-26-2009, 12:08 PM   #129
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Hey Clod - Does it make you cry sometimes? Cuz if it does, I just wanted to tell you THAT'S OKAY. You're allowed to get frustrated and angry and sad. You are amazing.
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He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon.

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Old 03-26-2009, 01:50 PM   #130
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Originally Posted by Queen of the Ryche
Hey Clod - Does it make you cry sometimes?
As recently as last night. Doing good so far today though. I should get one of those OSHA signs, "_____ TEAR-FREE DAYS ON THIS JOB SITE." I just got an email back from the manufacturer of his lotion letting me know that the container I have is pretty old, and newer versions of the product don't actually have dairy in them anymore. So that's nice.
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Old 03-26-2009, 06:40 PM   #131
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Hey Clod - Does it make you cry sometimes? Cuz if it does, I just wanted to tell you THAT'S OKAY. You're allowed to get frustrated and angry and sad. You are amazing.
What she says. and hugs from across the pond. You RAWCK!
(that's a good thing, 'kay?)
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Old 03-26-2009, 08:53 PM   #132
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Hey Fob, see if you can get some sympathy/blackmail samples of the new product out of them......

What a sucky time you're going through. Have you gotten a massage recently? If not, I heartily recommend it.
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Old 03-28-2009, 01:44 AM   #133
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The older one, I mean. The next time I'm at the pediatrician's office (that would be in January for his little sister's 9-month checkup,) I'm going to ask her at what age it becomes reasonable to examine for hyperactivity and obsessive-compulsive behavior. I mean believe me, I understand that two-year-olds are typically a pain in the ass, and I honestly feel that I am above-average when it comes to being patient with him. But let's consider a few examples:

--He rejects the concept of brushing his teeth, and we have to physically restrain him every single night to get it done. At no point has he shown any acceptance that this is going to happen, despite complete consistency on our part.

--He compulsively chants snippets of songs and catchphrases at me all day long, and will say his half again and again nonstop until I repeat what he has said to me, or whatever complementary phrase I'm supposed to say. One typical progression goes (exactly) like this:
Him: "ABC Song."
Me: "A, B, C, D--"
Him: "Big A"
Me: "Big A, Little A, what begins with A? Aunt Annie's Alligator, A, A, A." [Continue reciting this book until about letter I. If I stop, he prompts with the next letter.]
Him: "ABC Song."
Me: [Alphabet song sung to a different tune, from the show "Choo-Choo Soul."]
Him: "Number song." [More Choo Choo Soul]
Me: "1, 2, 1-2-3--"
Him: "Bullet train."
Me: "If I were a car I'd be a race car, and if I were a--"
Him: "Jump jump."
Me: "Jump, jump, Put your hands in the air, Jump, jump, Wave them everywhere--"
Him: "Jumping jacks!"
Me: Yes, I see that you are doing jumping jacks.

If at any point in these scripts I don't respond, he just keeps chanting his last line over and over and over until I do. I have gone so far as to lock him out of the bedroom to try to break the cycle. 20 minutes later I emerged, and he immediately picked up right where he'd left off.

--His newest thing this winter is he won't wear long sleeves. Even if it's 40 degrees outside. I figure when he gets cold enough he'll put on his jacket, right? So far he's still stubbornly holding out, and his elbows and arms are red and chapped by the end of each day.

--He can't be trusted to walk on his own in any store or parking lot, though he desperately wants to, because the instant his feet touch the ground he bolts. He's not even going anywhere, he's just going. If I try to hold his hand he deadweights to the ground, forcing me to pick him up, at which point the kicking to be let down begins. He has never in his life walked while holding my hand, ever.

--One of his favorite activities is "drawing with crayons." This consists of taking each of the 100+ crayons out of the box and lining them up on the table in front of him next to the big coloring book. He does not actually ever draw in the book, but it has to come out with the crayons all the same. When they are all lined up, he is done. Usually he tries to color-coordinate them as well, pulling all the blue ones out first, etc.


It's been especially bad since the baby was born, but it's hard to tell if that's actually a cause or if it just happens to line up with a difficult age. I'm really hoping we're at the nadir here, and he's going to start improving as he approaches 3. But the glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel are few and far between.
Dude. That's the terrible twos. He should come out of them sometime between 3-4 years old.

Children at that age are damn near unmanageable. You just have to tough it out.
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Old 03-28-2009, 02:22 AM   #134
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Dude. That's the terrible twos. He should come out of them sometime between 3-4 years old.

Children at that age are damn near unmanageable. You just have to tough it out.
Have you READ the rest of the thread? Seriously?
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Old 03-28-2009, 07:27 PM   #135
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Heh... well, ah, just in case TGRR is wrong...

This book has been amazing. It is basically a summation of every single autism-related medical study ever. I read it cover-to-cover in two days. Okay, maybe I skimmed some of the more technical bits, because it does get extremely scientific in some places. But it's laid out well enough for the layperson to understand. It dips into the vaccine debate, including the methodological drawbacks of studies on both sides, but that is just a small section of the book. The most important thing it does is explain which subset of the autistic population seems to respond to which therapy, and why. So now, instead of browsing the internet and finding 50 different treatments and no evidence to back them up except opposing anecdotes that it either dramatically helped a child or had absolutely no effect, I have each one laid out and explained, and can identify myself which ones Minifob might have success with. (The nutritional supplement that counterbalances glutamate in the brain, and has shown success specifically with kids who seem to have problems with MSG? That one's at the top of the grocery list.)

What's more, the author of the book currently practices in--get this--Austin, alongside several other doctors who are convinced of the connection between autism and diet/digestion issues, including Dr. Wakefield. Yes, that Dr. Wakefield. I've filed an intake form online with their practice, so I guess I'll find out on Monday what kind of a waiting list they have...
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