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Old 05-14-2009, 04:46 PM   #1
Undertoad
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May 15, 2009: Ancient sculpture has enormous rack



According to the BBC, this ivory carving is the oldest sculpture of a human figure ever found, at approximately 35,000 years old. And it has... well... big tits.

Sez the Beeb,
Quote:
Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University, said is was understandable that many would also view the new discovery in a pornographic light, but he cautioned against jumping to quickly to a particular interpretation.

"We project our ideas of today on to this image from 40,000 years ago," he told the BBC.

"I think there are good reasons to emphasise sexual interpretations, but we really don't know whether it is coming from a more male or a more female perspective. We don't know very much about how the artefact was used."
Don't know? The male sexual response is enormously visual... and without even ancient culture, never mind the culture of today, ancient males must have been quite primitive...



In my opinion, we are looking at prehistoric pornography. 35,000 years ago, some prehistoric man whacked off to this. It's almost guaranteed.

Hey, I'm only telling you what the Beeb won't admit.

(And some people think the IotD is a Safe For Work zone. I don't think so!)
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Old 05-14-2009, 05:47 PM   #2
Sheldonrs
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It's not ivory and it's not what he whacked off TO!
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Old 05-14-2009, 05:51 PM   #3
DanaC
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It looks kind of maternal to me ...


... still feel like jacking off to it Toad?
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Last edited by DanaC; 05-14-2009 at 06:07 PM.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:01 PM   #4
lumberjim
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It's a dönii

didnt you read clan of the cave bear?
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Last edited by lumberjim; 05-14-2009 at 06:42 PM.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:29 PM   #5
Cloud
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its based on an idealized idea of the human figure that rarely existed. Back then, fat people were admired. (how far we've fallen. sigh)

mind out of the gutter, guys!
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:46 PM   #6
corydodt
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It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?
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Old 05-14-2009, 07:06 PM   #7
lumberjim
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it's like one of those maps.....

they size the component parts in direct relation to how much attention is paid them.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:58 PM   #8
dropmedic
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Dunno, Mr Undertoad, but after all my band days/nights, she could be familiar, though a pressure-washer is called for, in either case. Ya gotta be sure. Hold on, I think.........no, never mind, not Hillary........
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:17 PM   #9
classicman
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looks like a whole chicken to me - ewwwwwwwww
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:03 PM   #10
capnhowdy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dropmedic View Post
Dunno, Mr Undertoad, but after all my band days/nights, she could be familiar, though a pressure-washer is called for, in either case. Ya gotta be sure. Hold on, I think.........no, never mind, not Hillary........
Hell, it couldn't be Hillary... she's CAST IRON!

We're gonna need some serious tenderizer on this one, folks.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:07 PM   #11
capnhowdy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corydodt View Post
It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?
The sculpt is depicting the old adage:
The bigger the tits, the smaller the brain.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:13 PM   #12
footfootfoot
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Sigh.

It's not sexual at all. How many times do I have to say it?

It's all about the dowas.

The original nom nom nom.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:27 PM   #13
ZenGum
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Classic is right. It's clearly a fried chicken.

New scientist has a small article on the interpretation of it.
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Old 05-15-2009, 12:51 AM   #14
xoxoxoBruce
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Yup.
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Old 05-15-2009, 02:09 AM   #15
Scriveyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corydodt View Post
It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?
There isn't one - it was designed as pendant.

These were found approximatley 30 miles down the road from here. Maybe my grandgrand....grandfather made some

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