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Old 07-31-2009, 12:17 AM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
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July 31, 2009: Beauty Pageant

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
.......



Yes, a beauty pageant for camels.

Quote:
For nine days the animals paraded before a grandstand—camels of all sorts, the most prestigious being groupings of 35 females—and imperious judges waved away the homelier groups with their dejected owners. As the days passed, the judges rewarded certain standards with dispatch, winnowing a field of some 24,000 contestants.
I wonder if 35 camels is the ideal sized caravan?
But how do you tell a "pretty" camel from an ugly one?

Quote:
But the judges in Abu Dhabi view camels with different eyes, scrutinizing them from nose to tail and back again, evaluating each according to strict criteria. Her ears must be firm. Her back high, her hump large and symmetrical. A rump that's not too big, with just enough room for a saddle. The hair, of course, must shine. A good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip that hangs down like a bauble. A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet, looking for what their guidelines call "toe-parting length."

Because so many beauty pageants, in the end, do come down to cleavage.
This is serious business, more for the prestige, bragging rights, than the prizes, which are "luxury sport-utility vehicles—more than 140 Range Rovers, Nissans, Toyotas, all prizes for various winners".

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Old 07-31-2009, 12:32 AM   #2
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She is beautiful....almost as beautiful as the chocolate brown llama with long eyelashes and the oatmeal radar I met nearly a decade ago in Perth.
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:43 AM   #3
avail9988
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Funny, Wouldnt think they had so much water too splash around.
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:48 AM   #4
casimendocina
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It's all about priorities.
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:53 AM   #5
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by avail9988 View Post
Funny, Wouldnt think they had so much water too splash around.
One of the finalists paid a million bucks for a camel, the other paid two million for three. They can afford to have water flown in from anywhere.

Welcome to the Cellar, avail9988.
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Old 07-31-2009, 06:32 AM   #6
capnhowdy
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What a difficult decision. They are all so absolutely stunning. Kinda like choosing your cleanest dirty shirt.

"Wow! Just look at the hump on that contestant. Back to you, Bob."
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Old 07-31-2009, 07:35 AM   #7
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That first one has a big hairy mole on her hump. I once knew a girl who... uh, never mind.
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Old 07-31-2009, 08:36 AM   #8
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I wonder how many of them have had hump jobs.
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Old 07-31-2009, 09:02 AM   #9
dacliff
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Kinda like a Turducken:

<a href="http://www.recipezaar.com/Whole-Stuffed-Camel-67495">Whole Stuffed Camel</a>
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Old 07-31-2009, 09:10 AM   #10
birdclaw
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Didn't someone make a song about this? "My lovely lady humps"?
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Old 07-31-2009, 10:17 AM   #11
newtimer
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"...Her back high...rump that's not too big...The hair, of course, must shine...good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip...A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet..."

Before we judge their culture too harshly, keep in mind those are the same criteria used to judge the Miss Universe pageants. All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.
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Old 07-31-2009, 10:21 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtimer View Post
"...Her back high...rump that's not too big...The hair, of course, must shine...good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip...A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet..."

Before we judge their culture too harshly, keep in mind those are the same criteria used to judge the Miss Universe pageants. All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:30 AM   #13
dmg1969
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I like big humps and I can not lie.
All you other sheiks can't deny
When a ungulate walks in with an itty-bitty neck
And a bumpy thing in your face
You get sprung!
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Old 07-31-2009, 01:37 PM   #14
Knight f3
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That's what the miss universe pageant needs!

When the contestants come out wearing their bikinis, we need a guy to come out and hose them down.
:p
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:42 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtimer View Post
All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.
Yep, I was waiting for the camel toe I was...

Quote:
Originally Posted by dmg1969 View Post
I like big humps and I can not lie.
All you other sheiks can't deny
When a ungulate walks in with an itty-bitty neck
And a bumpy thing in your face
You get sprung!
THAT was inspired (and inspiring)!!
I wonder who does that rap, 'Sir Spits A Lot'?
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