If You're Lucky...

[Elspode]

...you make it to be 90, and people throw you a big birthday party in a backwoods church in Southern Missouri. You might not care much about it, because, well...you're 90. What the fuck haven't you seen by then? If you're *really* lucky, one of the guests is a lady you've known since the second grade. She's 90 as well, but you look a helluva lot better than she does, and so you end up feeling pretty good about things, overall.

The lady on the right - the much less ravaged looking one - is my wife's grandmother, Stella. I don't know the lady on the left, but her daughter brought her out for Stella's special day, and Stella was damn surprised to see her. After all, when you're 90, people who you've known since childhood start to get pretty scarce.

Stella is hell on wheels, an opinionated, prejudiced, pious, whining midget of a woman who, upon hearing that my wife was leaving her husband and taking up with me some 12 years ago, promptly wrote Selene out of her will. Then, after getting to know me, she wrote her back *into* the will, and started throwing money at her whenever she thought we needed it. It seems she ended up liking me quite a lot after all. Go figure.

Stella lost her husband just about a year ago. They were married for over 65 years, and not a day goes by that she doesn't think of him, talk of him...honor him. Stella still lives mostly independently, and is in full command of her faculties. She cooks like a demon, tends her flower beds and generally puts most of us younger, softer stock to shame. We should all be so lucky.

She's a grand old lady, for all her shortcomings, and I'm proud to know her. I thought you might like to meet her, too, and wish her many more.