The Midlife Crisis

[Juniper]

I'm 40, so I guess the timing is right. I am just wondering what is "normal" (as if there is such a thing) and what form other folks' midlife crises have taken -- how you feel/felt, if you changed anything in your life, etc. Was your reaction reasonable and mature?

What do you think compels otherwise responsible, logical adults to do stupid things once they hit that age? Or do you think that those who leave their spouses, buy sports cars and take sabbaticals, that sort of thing...weren't quite right in the head in the first place?

I'm not contemplating anything drastic, not going to ditch the hubby or cheat. The restlessness I feel isn't that...it's just sort of a general regret for the road not taken. In my 20's I was focused on earning a living, getting all set up and financially secure, then in my 30's it was all about motherhood. I don't regret any of that, necessarily. I guess I just wanted MORE, if that makes any sense at all.

That probably sounds like the typical language of a midlife crisis.

I'm solving this dilemma, I hope, by going back to college. I know what I want to do, at least for the main goal, but I'm planning to enjoy the journey too. I get the joy of being around young people (well, sometimes it's a joy...), being nudged to think about stuff I wouldn't otherwise contemplate, having to push myself to do work I wasn't sure I could do, and Yippee! getting honest, timely feedback. Maybe I'll even make some friends.

I think that my hubby is worried, though. I started back to school spring quarter and I'm taking some summer classes, but this fall I throw myself into it full time on campus. I'm changing, and in a good way - I feel like I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be, not the person I just fell into being...more confident, more likely to stand up and argue instead of avoiding confrontation. It's not like he hasn't changed over the years too, also in a good way; he's taken classes too, changed careers, and is so settled and comfy now that I'm worried, too. Either his big crisis is forthcoming, or one of these days we'll get fed up with each other for having grown too far apart. Or maybe not. Maybe he'll be my sail, and I'll be the wind.

Well, this is kind of a personal thing. Just thought it was an interesting topic and wanted to know how others have dealt with it.