Ex's are vex's

Aliantha · 12-16-2008, 10:21 PM

Do you ever feel bad about or sorry for people you've loved in the past? People who once meant a lot to you but for reasons that are sometimes hard to put into words, the relationship didn't work?

I feel like that about my ex. My boys father.

We split almost 10 years ago and there were some pretty good reasons for it on my side such as infidelity and abuse, so I know it was the right decision for me knowing that nothing was really going to change no matter how remorseful he was after each event.

The trouble is that he's now almost 50 and he's not settled in his life. He has no one special other than his kids (of which there are 4 now) and he continues to make the same mistakes in relationships. The hard part for me is that he's not close to his family and I just feel so bad that he has no joy in his life (from what I can see). I especially feel bad at this time of year because I know I look forward to the closeness I feel with my family and I used to share that with him, and even though I don't love him any more, I still feel a bond or something hard to describe because of the two wonderful sons we share. I know I'm not responsible for the choices he's made in his life, but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad that the choices he's made have led him to the point he's at in his life. Not only for his sake, but for his kids sake. I think that even if they don't think too much about it now, it might be something that could come back to haunt them later in their own lives.

He's going to die a lonely man if he doesn't change and I hate the thought of anyone going on to where ever after having had a life that seems to me to have been filled with more sadness and strife than happiness and joy. I started thinking about this when I dropped the kids off to him today for a couple of days before he heads off to Darwin again and before I knew it I was sniffling and crying my way home.

Is it normal to feel this way about someone who at one time made your life hell? Does anyone else have any similar stories to share so that I know I'm not the only sentimental fool in the world?

12-16-2008, 10:21 PM	#1
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Ex's are vex's Do you ever feel bad about or sorry for people you've loved in the past? People who once meant a lot to you but for reasons that are sometimes hard to put into words, the relationship didn't work? I feel like that about my ex. My boys father. We split almost 10 years ago and there were some pretty good reasons for it on my side such as infidelity and abuse, so I know it was the right decision for me knowing that nothing was really going to change no matter how remorseful he was after each event. The trouble is that he's now almost 50 and he's not settled in his life. He has no one special other than his kids (of which there are 4 now) and he continues to make the same mistakes in relationships. The hard part for me is that he's not close to his family and I just feel so bad that he has no joy in his life (from what I can see). I especially feel bad at this time of year because I know I look forward to the closeness I feel with my family and I used to share that with him, and even though I don't love him any more, I still feel a bond or something hard to describe because of the two wonderful sons we share. I know I'm not responsible for the choices he's made in his life, but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad that the choices he's made have led him to the point he's at in his life. Not only for his sake, but for his kids sake. I think that even if they don't think too much about it now, it might be something that could come back to haunt them later in their own lives. He's going to die a lonely man if he doesn't change and I hate the thought of anyone going on to where ever after having had a life that seems to me to have been filled with more sadness and strife than happiness and joy. I started thinking about this when I dropped the kids off to him today for a couple of days before he heads off to Darwin again and before I knew it I was sniffling and crying my way home. Is it normal to feel this way about someone who at one time made your life hell? Does anyone else have any similar stories to share so that I know I'm not the only sentimental fool in the world? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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